Through Hell (Is The Way Out) by Valerie Parente
The longer you feed that unhealthy mental state,
trying and trying to avoid the tallest flames,
that fire is only going to expand its space,
and engulf you into a larger blaze.
I had to go through a brutal kind of hell,
to address a prolonged flaw with my mental health,
a problem that put too much pressure on someone else,
and now I finally feel like the best version of myself.
– Valerie Parente (3-10-2021)
Please Keep Your Cynicism To Yourself by Valerie Parente
Cynicism is a choice.
It is a choice to be void.
You are welcome to not believe in a higher being,
but don’t you dare shut down those who found it and its meaning;
people who have crawled out of the darkness of addiction and grief,
people who survived because they had something outside themself to believe.
If you look at these miracles and roll your eyes at the world,
and think “I’m way too smart to believe in something more”,
then your problem isn’t intelligence,
your problem is stone cold arrogance.
Just because you do not see the benefit of it,
does not mean the benefit does not exist.
Please, do the world a favor next time,
when you want to shame the people who survived,
treat the world like you treat the herbs you smoke,
take a deep breathe, then let it go.
– Valerie Parente (3-10-2021)
I think there’s a very important difference between writing from a point of mental health awareness and mental health exploitation. Mental health awareness is about going to a dark space and shining a light on it, exploitation just drags you into the dark abyss, offering no solace. I’ve made a vow since my diagnosis to make sure my art does the former.
– Valerie Parente (3-9-2021)
One Thing Is Certain… Seasons Change by Valerie Parente
Days are getting longer,
sunlight shining down,
the sound of burning rubber,
in this cute little town,
and I wouldn’t change a thing,
even if it kept you around.
Sitting on these bleachers,
so far below the clouds,
last year I sat here in torment,
wondering where, when, and how
I’d ever begin to forget the good times,
unaware remembering was allowed.
I mistook peace for apathy,
clinging on to a heavy frown,
thinking loneliness all alone,
was worse than loneliness in a crowd,
but I’ve found my peace of mind,
and in my lonesome it was found.
I’m happier today,
with my feet on the ground,
no more unfair expectations,
in a psyche so loud,
I proved I can survive,
a sadness so profound,
it didn’t make sense at the time,
but I can make sense of it now.
– Valerie Parente (3-9-2021)
Pixie Dust by Valerie Parente
Little nymph with rainbow wings,
sprinkling pixie dust,
making the darkness sparkle,
with her magic touch.
Little fairy with sharp intuition,
seeing auras through glass eyes,
your energy is clear to her,
even when you try to hide.
Little creature of the forest,
with empathy like the stars,
she envisions how you feel,
dividing light in equal parts.
Their whimsical spirits exceed the days,
like totems passed down the human race,
so very minuscule in this time and place,
yet endless in the sentiments they convey.
– Valerie Parente (3-8-2021)
Abandoned Castle by Valerie Parente
She thought she had it all figured out
when she was young
dreaming of a big grand castle
glowing under the sun.
She thought she would live in a fairytale
when she grew up
dancing in a glorious castle
a place to fall in love.
The years piled on
the castle’s appeal faded.
Some say she grew up
some say she grew jaded.
Love is not as simple
as the moss that covers stone.
Dreams are not meaningful
until you fail, then you grow.
Now ivy on the walls
climbs up so very tall
and with dreams so big
she began to feel small.
That’s when the abandonment happened
and she realized fantasies can cause harm
often inflated by a toxic desire
so she decided to move on.
Tale be told, she abandoned her castle
but that is no more than folklore;
she didn’t abandon that castle
that castle abandoned her
and that turned out to be
the castle’s greatest favor
for when the fantasizing ceased
she began to enjoy the real world.
– Valerie Parente (3-7-2021)
Dress Up by Valerie Parente
Kinda funny, when you dress up
that they get all hung up
because a woman can look like a woman
unless there are sums of men looking,
and if you dress like a doll
they’ll think it’s playtime when it’s not.
But last time I checked
I expect so much less
when a man looks like a man
I don’t assume he’ll hold my hand.
It’s condescending to the men
that we think less of them
like they can’t control their fantasies
when they see a woman so free
as if they don’t have the control
not to touch what’s not their own.
You can dress up, you can dress down
you can convey whatever you dream about
because it empowers every party
when you feel free with who you want to be.
– Valerie Parente (3-6-2021)
Not Bionic by Valerie Parente
You can be recovered
and still not feel okay
maybe for minutes
maybe for days
the key is accepting
that you operate
on the very mechanisms
that make you brave.
You are not bionic
you are not unfazed.
You are a child
of the moon’s display
and that will always mean
that sadness comes in waves
but so does happiness
it arrives all the same.
It is this temperament
that helps you create
it is your reactions
that leave room for grace.
When you have a memory
and it’s by mistake
you are allowed to feel
any type of way
because you are not bionic
you are not man-made
you are something natural
deep in outer space
you are endless and real
in mankind’s masquerade.
– Valerie Parente (3-4-2021)
The Hurt, The Heal, The Hope by Valerie Parente
I felt myself hurt
as I reflected on the feelings that defined my past.
I felt myself heal
as I made sense of the psyche that defined my present.
And I felt myself hope
as I realized what I wanted was not what I need in my future.
This is the trajectory that permeated my inner rhythmic monologue.
This is the process that helped me uncover my faults.
This is my manifesto that I long to share with you all.
– Valerie Parente (3-2-2021)
Polished Mirror by Valerie Parente
Everything is so much clearer
now that I’ve polished my mirror;
reflected on what went wrong
and I’m so beyond moving on.
That’s the thing about retrospect,
you learn from the bitterness,
from what you could not detect,
until it became past tense.
It’s not about what I want, now that I know what I need
and I’m ready to see all that I’m meant to see
with this perspective that’s been reflective
now that I’m finally clean.
– Valerie Parente (3-1-2021)
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