Intellectual Slut by Valerie Parente
Dear Me,
Don’t stop being an intellectual slut and telling people you just meet
all your hopes and your dreams
and what you think the meaning of life might be.
Sincerely,
Val
– Valerie Parente (2-17-2020)
Lost
Lost by Valerie Parente
You are not lost.
I just lost my ability to find you.
– Valerie Parente (2-11-2020)
Surreal
Surreal by Valerie Parente
It’s so hard to believe that from now on when we talk about your presence
it’s going to be in past tense.
What we feel is what is real to us
and we still feel that you are here with us.
– Valerie Parente (2-10-2020)
Time Is Not Real
Time is not real. Time is just the means that we perceive energy in the universe. All that was, is. All that will be, is. There is no timeline. Just everything in existence including our consciousness entangled in one.
And I think we can find peace in that fact, because when we lose someone, when they’re no longer “here”, they still are. The energy does not disappear. Our ability to recognize their energy might disappear, but that is no indication of the reality that they still exist now and infinitely. When there is no timeline, you cannot lose someone. Ever.
– Valerie Parente (2-9-2020)
Love Is Immortal
Love Is Immortal by Valerie Parente
Love
is when your soul
recognizes another soul
and you’ll know when you feel that love
because the body will seem as inanimate as clay
while the ego is just an arbitrary layer in space
and the light you sense through this reality charade
could ignite an entire universe with a single gaze
Because love
is when two energies combine
and spawn an endless chain of life.
– Valerie Parente (2-7-2020)
Connection
Connection by Valerie Parente
I’ve been looking for a way out of this mind
And somewhere along the line I realized
that connecting to someone else was my way out
and that’s why I acted like it was do or die
when I recognized your third eye
I was crazy and intense and emotions were high
because I swore this connection was my only chance
to be freed from the pain I idealized
and when you say something I really want to know why
because finally I’m intrigued by a mind other than mine.
– Valerie Parente (2-6-2020)
Playtime
Playtime by Valerie Parente
He doesn’t know how emotions work
that’s why he plays with mine
like building blocks
towering so high.
But if you’re going to toy with me
then make me your doll
because I’d rather feel pretty
than be built up to fall.
– Valerie Parente (2-2-2020)
Cruelty & Credulity
Cruelty & Credulity by Valerie Parente
Not knowing what is normal has become the norm for me.
And not knowing what’s real has become my reality.
I’m trying to be mindful of what’s fabricated in my mind.
So the cruelest thing you could do is make me believe that my perception is make-believe.
– Valerie Parente (1-31-2020)
It’s Not You, It’s Me
It’s Not You, It’s Me by Valerie Parente
the problem isn’t you
it’s me
and my inability
to see you differently
– Valerie Parente (1-29-2020)
Playing With Storms (Diagnose Me)
Playing With Storms (Diagnose Me) by Valerie Parente
I’ve got five different disorders and I can’t afford to be diagnosed with another
But ever since the grief I’ve feel like my brain has spawned a new monster
My emotions are so intense and I freak out then repent
People ask me why I acted out
and I honestly can’t remember why
I remember doing the deed
but I don’t remember why I felt it was necessary
all I remember is that I really truly believed in the feeling’s intensity
and I played with thunderous storms even though I don’t even like the noise
and I think that’s pretty scary
when you can go 25 years understanding the string between your actions and emotions
then suddenly don’t remember why you did something so intense
its like you’re sitting in a backseat watching yourself
there’s a barrier between you and what you do
a major disconnect
and I can’t even begin to try to figure out why
I just know that my mind has become so hard to find
I’ve got five other disorders that I understand inside and out
but I don’t understand the reasoning behind this new rage filled spree
It would be so much easier to address this if someone could just diagnose me.
Please, just diagnose this storm inside of me.
Because then I can begin to master the storms artfully.
– Valerie Parente (1-28-2020)
