Bewildered by Valerie Parente
How utterly perplexing
that the thing I want more than anything
is the thing I fear more than anything.
All that I try to draw towards me
I push away when it’s before me.
– Valerie Parente (3-3-2024)
Bewildered
Category: Poetry
The Originator of Matter
The Originator of Matter by Valerie Parente
The Originator of Matter
is she who can manifest
any object of her desire
using the heart in her chest.
She teaches her disciples
how to hone this skill
able to materialize objects
out of nothing but will.
“The key is not imagining the object existing
it is imagining how it will feel when it exists,
live as the impact is already real
and you will create your every wish.
The power of your will
is not through thought
the power of your will
is a feeling through the heart.
You must take on the feeling
as if you already have what you covet
because there is a future version of you
that already knows you’ve won it.”
– Valerie Parente (3-1-2024)
Queen of Aversions
Queen of Aversions by Valerie Parente
I have an endless list of aversions
since age 0, almost to my 30s
and it should come as no surprise
that it permeates every area of my life
so here’s my regal attempt
to call out my constant contempt.
The tense muscle, toes curling
intense reflex type of aversion
have to look away
kind of public display
is quite a strong affliction
for someone who claims indifference.
There’s a passion in aversion
a self-preservation so determined
because I don’t fear what’s not special
I fear the things that have potential
so when asked for proof, I’m self-destructive
with only answers in the form of assumptions.
To be one who feels so vehemently
there’s a very distinct possibility
that I falsely identified
the feeling of butterflies
as a sickness to the stomach
because my anxiety was confronted.
Could it really be a coincidence
that the girl with issues so intimate
always just so happens
to never find attraction?
As if I could accurately gage
fingers on the pulse of tangled veins.
Maybe I was just nervous
because on paper it was perfect
and I’m not used to face to face
facing my weakness, facing my strength
and I know I said I didn’t feel any romance
but the truth is, I didn’t give it a fighting chance.
– Valerie Parente (2-21-2024)
Goodbye Girlhood
Goodbye Girlhood by Valerie Parente
She knew it,
the day her Girlhood was dead and gone
it wasn’t a loss of innocence
in fact, it wasn’t even a loss.
Instead of deprivation
she was filled with awe
that her Girlhood even existed
regardless of how long.
In its place
gratitude had spawned
and she didn’t lament
instead she felt strong.
She was enriched
by who she once was
and she returned to the earth
to give back to a greater cause.
There is a prize with death
when you see life from above
and from that vantage point
you know how far you’ve come.
You’ll never know it was worth it
until the end of the song
and when you listen from a distance
you’ll know you’re where you belong.
– Valerie Parente (2-16-2024)
The Skeleton Key
The Skeleton Key by Valerie Parente
The skeleton key
scares many men
afraid it will open
a sinister realm.
But the truth of a key
is in its protection
able to lock out
anything coming in.
Maybe the skeleton key
makes us so unrelaxed
because it proves there is more in common
between the trespasser and the trespassed.
– Valerie Parente (2-16-2024)
Water Into Wine
Water Into Wine by Valerie Parente
Since the day Celine was born
she had the shadows on her mind,
drawn to the dark arts,
the antithesis to the light.
She turned to witchcraft
where she could dictate her own life
where there’s solace without man
and age is the measure of being wise.
The witch attended the sabbath
unafraid of what she might find
but that all changed
at the stroke of midnight.
An incubus himself
who was not inherently unkind
on the contrary, he was enticing
and he took advantage of her pride.
Hissing, “Through hell or high water,
I’ll be by your side.”
So the young witch taught herself
how to turn water into wine.
Though she could ward off evil
she was called ungodly in others’ eyes
for the church said, “You must be sober,
when you pray to the divine.”
Therein lied to greatest dilemma,
the finest of fine lines
between intoxication and medication
and to that she was blind.
Some people are predisposed
to a magic so clandestine,
destined to make the most
of the occult despite its crimes.
Celine always had a darkness in her
and for that, she had to at least try
to manipulate hell on the surface
before hell ruptured from inside.
The witch could feel a piece of heaven
in the potions fermented over time
but there’s no such thing as heaven
without a hell, she realized.
– Valerie Parente (2-10-2024)
No Cobwebs
No Cobwebs by Valerie Parente
The corners of my mind
are cobweb free
from the ever so incessant
repetitive activity.
I’ve never had the patience
to let the dust settle
and I know you need time
to let yourself develop.
Inside this headspace
I struggle to comprehend
why I want the same thing
over and over again.
The surfaces I touch
succumb to age
but here I am
nestled in the same place.
There are no cobwebs
when you always need to be clean
and it is this habit
that makes it hard to leave.
– Valerie Parente (2-1-2024)
Funhouse Reflex Hex
Funhouse Reflex Hex by Valerie Parente
I have come up with a perfect spell
to keep my body dysmorphia in check,
a hex that allows me to see my mind as it is flawed
and my perception as how those flaws manifest.
First I look at someone I find beautiful
and all I see is skinny and perfect
then I imagine my face on the same exact body
and suddenly all I see is excess.
It is this brilliant trick
that takes me out of my own head,
it is this foolproof witchcraft
I call my Funhouse Reflex Hex
where I can finally separate my reality
from the mental virus
and I can see the flaws aren’t in my appearance,
they’re in the psychological defects.
– Valerie Parente (1-31-2024)
Underwater
Underwater by Valerie Parente
I have this recurring dream
where I am under an aquatic spell
that allows me to breathe underwater
just me, and no one else.
It is a gift I forget I have
and to forget is a gift as well.
What a thrill to be able to remember,
remember but never dwell.
Like a mermaid in the sea
I am intrinsically compelled
to harbor feelings deep as the ocean
far from the surface that swells.
But living life underwater
can also feel quite like hell
because when mermaids cry
you can never really tell.
– Valerie Parente (1-12-2024)
If Only My Thoughts Could Fly Away
If Only My Thoughts Could Fly Away by Valerie Parente
Crossed my legs and started to pray
that my thoughts could just fly away
but they’re delicate, so I confined them
inside a cage of the like-minded.
These thoughts have a life of their own
beautiful ravens that don’t know where to go
I tell them, “It’s okay, go with peace”
but they don’t know who they are without me.
The feelings are mutual between the thinker and the thoughts
but maybe it’s time to align with an outside cause…
so to those darklings with feathered wings
I bid you farewell from your upbringing.
– Valerie Parente (1-7-2024)
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