I Just Want Attention by Valerie Parente
All I really want is attention
to make up for what I lost
because I ruined something good
by wanting more than I got.
I can’t help stringing people along
then cutting them off
because I’m trying to move on
but they’re not really what I want.
I need to be satisfied with myself
and I guess realizing that is a good start
and I shouldn’t ruin more people
just to fill the hole in my heart.
– Valerie Parente (12-27-2019)
Mirror Image by Valerie Parente
Everything I accused you of, I manifested in myself.
Every letter I wrote to you was a letter to myself.
All the pain and hidden motives I assumed you felt I assumed in myself.
All of my accusations were a mirror image of myself.
You didn’t push me away, I pushed myself away. Because the ego inside this head tried to sabotage any chance of another ego helping me out of this hole I call my soul.
– Valerie Parente (12-18-2019)
Duality by Valerie Parente
The most beautiful thing a person can do is be honest about their ugliest parts.
– Valerie Parente (12-16-2019)
Toxins by Valerie Parente
I became the person I tried not to be
because it got way too hard being me.
– Valerie Parente (12-12-2019)
Boys by Valerie Parente
The teacher turned to the schoolgirls, “And what do we say when boys break our hearts?”
The girls raised their hands, “They get rid of our writer’s block.”
– Valerie Parente (12-8-2019)
Noble by Valerie Parente
If you think you’re doing me some kind of noble favor by cutting me out of your life with no explanation why then you’re wrong…
… the noble thing to do would be to look me in the fucking eyes and tell me “goodbye.”
– Valerie Parente (12-6-2019)
Grand Scheme by Valerie Parente
I always felt like my mind was too big to fit inside me
that any attempt at fully articulating my thoughts would surely be a masterpiece
because the universe is always trying to whisper her poetry
and if I can capture just one conscious stream
then all the world’s pain would be worth it in the grand scheme.
– Valerie Parente (12-3-2019)
Rise Above by Valerie Parente
You beat me to the punch
Knocked me upside the head
But I got off the ground once
I can do it again.
– Valerie Parente (11-29-2019)
Resilience by Valerie Parente
The signs were pretty clear
when I cried out for help
and you pretended not to hear
when I scratched myself
then wiped blood on the mirror.
Did you really want to be the one
to teach me that life isn’t fair
to teach me that nobody really cares
to teach me that the world owes me nothing
and that I will always have to fight for my fair share.
Today I’m going to vent
but tomorrow I’ll get even,
because I’m done with this abusive environment
and how you broke me in pieces.
So many pieces of me
but you’re the one who broke
you let your ugly run free
through every word that you spoke.
The sharpest pieces of me
I’ll use those shards to slit your throat
and nobody else will have to be
a punchline to your cruel jokes.
– Valerie Parente (11-27-2019)
Projection by Valerie Parente
you never really did care, did you?
it was never about my feelings
it was about abiding your ego
and the anxiety that makes it seem whole
when in reality you’ve just been stuffing fear into a structure you call personality
fear of intimacy
fear of commitment
fear of emotions
it was never really about me not being good enough
it was about you maintaining your phobias.
– Valerie Parente (11-25-2019)
