To Give You My Poetry by Valerie Parente
I want to give you my poetry
not because I need your reaction
but because I need to no longer internalize these feelings while they eat away at me.
All I really need is to be seen
To have you divide your attention and assign it to me
Then you’ll finally see the impact you have on my being.
– Valerie Parente (2-19-2020)
I Just Want Attention by Valerie Parente
All I really want is attention
to make up for what I lost
because I ruined something good
by wanting more than I got.
I can’t help stringing people along
then cutting them off
because I’m trying to move on
but they’re not really what I want.
I need to be satisfied with myself
and I guess realizing that is a good start
and I shouldn’t ruin more people
just to fill the hole in my heart.
– Valerie Parente (12-27-2019)
Comparing Scars by Valerie Parente
I don’t feel great when other girls talk about their pain
because I feel like I have to one-up them just to validate my struggle
and I know it’s ridiculous that I actually feel jealous
of someone else’s suffering as if it’s a form of currency
like it’s a competition of whose scar is more impressing
I feel the need to defeat her by showing a cut that’s deeper
because if I’m the one who’s talked about then maybe I’ll no longer doubt myself.
I know it’s sick and warped how much I crave to be heard
I’m longing for attention more than I long for redemption
I don’t need some comfort, all I need is to come first
some kind of stage or grand display to say my hardship wasn’t in vain
it’s not just about being different, it’s about justifying the infliction
all that I’ve carved upon myself instead of asking for some help
and I know this truth is ugly but I need to speak with honesty
because if I can’t at least be real then there’s no point to how I feel.
– Valerie Parente (5-19-2019)
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