The Longing

"Ardor" by Valerie Parente

The Longing by Valerie Parente

The moment I stop needing
is the moment I stop feeling
I wouldn’t know what to do if I got what I want
And I wouldn’t have a damn clue where to start
I don’t want to always have to ask for permission
But I don’t trust the things my mind has been wishing
Because I’ve been using longing as my fuel
and I don’t know how else to guide my next move
Maybe that’s the problem with chasing a path
I start to identify with what I don’t have.

– Valerie Parente (10-18-2019)

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Path

Path by Valerie Parente

I chose the path but you chose to lead the way
footprints in the dirt recording what I say
you were walking ahead with your back to me
I was out of breath trying hard to breathe
you were nervous because you thought I was going to catch up and catch on
but the truth is my mind is already three steps in front of it all.

Star Studded

– Valerie Parente (6-10-2019)

Comparing Scars

Tiara

Comparing Scars by Valerie Parente

I don’t feel great when other girls talk about their pain
because I feel like I have to one-up them just to validate my struggle
and I know it’s ridiculous that I actually feel jealous
of someone else’s suffering as if it’s a form of currency
like it’s a competition of whose scar is more impressing
I feel the need to defeat her by showing a cut that’s deeper
because if I’m the one who’s talked about then maybe I’ll no longer doubt myself.

I know it’s sick and warped how much I crave to be heard
I’m longing for attention more than I long for redemption
I don’t need some comfort, all I need is to come first
some kind of stage or grand display to say my hardship wasn’t in vain
it’s not just about being different, it’s about justifying the infliction
all that I’ve carved upon myself instead of asking for some help
and I know this truth is ugly but I need to speak with honesty
because if I can’t at least be real then there’s no point to how I feel.

– Valerie Parente (5-19-2019)

 

Aesthetic Reality

"Marvel" by Valerie Parente

Aesthetic Reality by Valerie Parente

You’re starting to realize that reality is subjective
and perception is the byproduct of perspective
Now you’re deciding not to be fooled by the deception
that self-respect is determined by rejection
as if your meaning is for someone else to measure.
But the truth is that you get to choose your mood
because your personhood is dictated by the personal
and aesthetic stems from what makes you authentic.

– Valerie Parente (5-12-2019)

 

The Artist, The Muse: A Poetry & Prose Collection

The Artist, The Muse: A Poetry & Prose Collection by Valerie Parente OUT NOW

Buy THE ARTIST, THE MUSE Via Amazon

The Artist, The Muse is what you get when you interweave psychology, creativity, and spirituality into the poetic fabric of a mentally disordered daydreamer’s mind. Valerie Parente artfully hones the craft of written word in this collection of poetry and prose through fantastical metaphors, rhythmic patterns, heartfelt emotions, metaphysical references, and breath-taking epiphanies. Dark daydreams and silver-lining mantras blossom out of the obsessive compulsive writer’s verbal landscape as the artist becomes her own muse.

Includes poetry, prose, and artwork by Valerie Parente.

Table of Contents:

The Artist, The Muse
Conscience of Nonsense
Glitter In The Air
Shy of Me
The Gargoyle Mindset
An Inadequate Reflection
Ink
You’ve Made An Author Out Of Me
Essence
Grandiosity of the Sick
Daydreams Are Shadows
Sanctuary
Hindsight of the Falsehood
Echoes
Idu Ego
The Silver Screen
Realize These Butterflies
The Writer
Natural
The Instinct of Intuition
The Masterpiece Tragedy of Marionette
Egomaniac
Inquiries
Playing with Dolls
Imagination Is Not Free
Validation
I Wish You Well
Bleeding
Paradox Lock
Dreams of Floating
Give & Take
Her Bright Pink Shoes
Why I Apologize
My Heart Thaws
Mars
Sage of Tarkus
Normal
The Creeper
Young Sapling
Scarecrow
she could not master astral projection
Touch the Heart
Creator
To Be Human
Lady Luna and the Light Inside
Tiara
The Answer
Order In Disorder
Trust the Stars
Novelty
Message From The Universe

The Artist, The Muse by Valerie Parente

Sage of Tarkus

Sage of Tarkus by Valerie Parente

The heartaches of war that plagued the land of Segaduses left many civilians absent of faith. Lost. Looking for a reason to live again.

Determined to receive some sort of direction from a beacon of wisdom, a damsel from Segaduses traveled thirty miles by knight and steed to arrive at a cabin deep in the woods of Tarkus, home of the most acclaimed sage in all of the land. She had been on a journey for the past three years, searching for an answer to all of her sorrow. This girl with the mint green eyes convinced herself that the cure to her faithless haze could be found by falling in love. Her journey, for the past three years, was none other than a quest for a beloved hero whom could fill her life with purpose and interpersonal connection.

The gown worn by the damsel of Segaduses billowed like a blossoming tulip as she seated herself across the sage.

“I’ve been expecting you, dear,” the pale old woman stirred her chalice, making a burgundy whirlpool of the most fragrant truth serum. As the aroma wafted into stuffy cottage the damsel’s nostrils were filled and the knowledge she had denied deep in the core of her brain was activated.

With a confident nod the sage pointed to the knight on the stallion, outside of the cabin, whom had brought the Segaduses maiden so far along her journey.

“He is the one,” the strong-minded sage determined. “The man on the stallion is the man you will wed.”

For a fleeting second the damsel’s brow furrowed, then quickly vanished. Suddenly with a panic the enlightened yet shocked girl hastily shook her head, as if to rattle away the wisdom of the perceptive woman before her. “Oh no, no… he can’t be. I’ve known him for three years… he’s, he’s always been there in the background. If he were the one I would have known.”

“Dear,” the sage’s raspy voice lowered to a tender lull, “Knowledge does not require your conscious consent. Sometimes our subconscious knows at first sight, but our mind does not realize that what we felt was knowledge until years have passed.”

It took the frazzled girl a moment to respond. Her mint green eyes shivered as she struggled to make sense of the sage’s wisdom. How could it be? How could she have wanted something so badly but have never realized it was right before her eyes?

Adamant that the sage of Tarkus must have made a mistake, the damsel allowed her stubborn mind to wonder aloud, “But how can he be my hero if he does not have my most coveted traits?”

“Well what are you looking for in a hero, my dear?” the sage asked.

“A hero who has the same interests as I do.”

“So he is a reflection?”

“A hero who loves me unconditionally.”

“So he is a father?”

“A hero who knows how I feel before I say it.”

“So he is omniscient?”

Having given up, the damsel sunk deeper into her seat.

“Dear, what your heartbreak longs for is not a partner. What you are describing is not an equal. You are describing a God.”

Having given up, the Segaduses girl fell deeper into her subconscious, realizing the knowledge her depressed mind had repressed for so long.

"Damsel" by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (11-23-2017)

Egomaniac

Egomaniac by Valerie Parente

I’m torn apart by this tragedy.
But in the eyes of a sane person
This has nothing to do with me.
So I feel ashamed and I try to stuff the pain down.
Because the last thing a tragedy needs
Is a selfish person like me.

Selfish

– Valerie Parente (10-24-17)

Why I Apologize

Why I Apologize by Valerie Parente

I apologize because I am less than perfect.

I apologize because I cannot read your mind.
I apologize to prove I am aware of my presentation.
I apologize to negate anything I do that you might dislike.
I apologize because I cannot be everybody’s inspiration.
I apologize to beat you to the punch.
I apologize to try and predict all you foresaw.
I apologize because I cannot say everything at once.
I apologize before you get the chance to see my flaws.

I apologize to seem perfect.

Chokehold

– Valerie Parente (10-16-2017)

Normal

Normal by Valerie Parente

Tell me what it’s like.
To not obsess. To feel and not get addicted to the emotion. To be a fleeting presence of mindfulness in each moment. To care for a subject without surrendering full control of your brain.
How does it feel to be normal?
Because I never wanted to know until I met you.

"I do not want to go back to my fantasy land, but I cannot handle reality without your hand." by Valerie Parente

“I do not want to go back to my fantasy land, but I cannot handle reality without your hand.” by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (10-8-2017)

Lady Luna and the Light Inside

Lady Luna and the Light Inside by Valerie Parente

Lady Luna has so much light confined inside a heart as dark as night.
She loves being near the sun but it hurts to shine
Because the light she feels inside grows bigger and bigger every night
But the heart of night remains the same size.
Lady Luna does not want to waste the limited time
Determined by a stubborn sun as beautiful as the very light she hides.
She does not want to embarrass herself with another try
Like a pessimist tries to embrace the bright side.
Lady Luna tries so hard to meet the sun at night
Longing to split apart and reveal the light inside
And show the waves the blinding spot provides.
But she is too fragile and shy in her lunatic state of mind.

Lady Luna

Until she can find the right time she writes…

“I have so much light for you crammed inside my heart, and it just keeps growing and growing and becomes more painful to hold inside me and only me. I long to give this overflowing light to you but you are so locked shut. I keep reaching out to share these rays with you but you only open tiny fractions at time. And I am getting so physically exhausted by the mental strain of this effort. Believe me, it is always worth giving another try, because you are worth more than anything this universe can comprehend, but all this energy exertion is taking its toll on me. My heart has so much light inside, and I do not think the light can fit much longer without breaking my heart in half.”

– Valerie Parente (8-26-17)