Poetry Reading & Analysis (Broken ~ Mirror Image ~ The Way You Treat Me) (VIDEO)

Features “Broken”, “Mirror Image”, and “The Way You Treat Me”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com

Hyper-Sensitive Super Power

Hyper-Sensitive Super Power by Valerie Parente

I am a super sensitive being
I attach myself to feelings
even though I know beyond reason
that the attachment causes a deep heaviness
as I force the emotions to linger in my chest
terrified by the way people simply forget
it’s a bad habit that makes me look insane
because I remember every single thing you say
yet I wouldn’t have it any other way
because I can see light in a world of shadows
the hyper-awareness weeds out the people who are shallow
and inflicts deeper meaning in the people I value
I know there is power in my sensitivity
that this is either going to be the thing that kills me
or the thing that saves me.

dark angel

– Valerie Parente (3-4-2020)

Rather Be Haunted

Rather Be Haunted by Valerie Parente

Emotions haunt me like ghosts
manipulating the energy inside of me
drawing from what I want the most
because my intensity sets the ghosts free.

The more meaning in my interactions
the more meaning in my poetry
because these interpersonal relations
have me evolving spiritually.

I used to identify as the tortured artist
but now I identify as a human being
creating words so painfully honest
Hurt, feel, heal, then repeat.

The pain never starts out pretty
but the ghosts give me an artistic opportunity
in turn I give them the satisfaction of being seen
while I turn those emotions into a masterpiece.

It isn’t easy learning through ghosts
but if its between getting what I wanted
and the force of emotional growth
then I would rather be haunted.

Haunted

– Valerie Parente (2-25-2020)

Playtime

Playtime by Valerie Parente

He doesn’t know how emotions work
that’s why he plays with mine
like building blocks
towering so high.
But if you’re going to toy with me
then make me your doll
because I’d rather feel pretty
than be built up to fall.

"Sugar" by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (2-2-2020)

Emotional Depth

Emotional Depth by Valerie Parente

On the nights I can’t express myself
It’s because I feel underwhelmed.
The world of feelings is my fuel
and I’ll be damned if I don’t bruise.
If there is no emotional depth
then I am nothing but useless.

If You Want Me You Can Have Me

– Valerie Parente (11-24-2019)

Immaculate Introvert

Immaculate Introvert by Valerie Parente

I hate parties.
I always feel so out of place
like I don’t belong to the human race
because I can’t relate
to how other people operate
all the alcohol and games.
It’s not a problem with who I am,
it’s a problem with who I’m not
because that’s not what I want
when I think of the perfect job
I’d rather lose myself in thoughts
writing and drawings from my heart.
Creation feels better than partying,
creation is what I live to be
an artist on an emotional journey
making sense of the world consciously
that’s how I set my soul free
and be the best version of me.

"Kelsey" by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (8-18-2019)

There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep

There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep by Valerie Parente

My feelings aren’t as complicated as my mind is making them
with this dissonant narration.
I’ve been caught in a loop
about a story I wanted to be true.

You see my brain does this thing where it prioritizes my feelings
over logic and reason.
Making a stable personality
the most dominant part of me.

Meanwhile I have these thoughts, irrational obsessions that haunt.
For years they were caught
associating you with my name
but now my emotions have changed.

Now my ego is anxious, though it’s really quite simplistic.
No matter how much I resist it
I know I’m moving on
whether I like it or not.

The truth is, I think it’s scary that there might be more to me
than the emotions I keep.
If I get over how I felt
then how do I define myself?

But then I think of how happy I can be now that I’ve set myself free
from that same old story.

Valerie The Doll

– Valerie Parente (1-31-2018)

Intention

Intention by Valerie Parente

He was sick. Nose stuffed. Ears blocked. Miserable on the couch. His only movement came from his fatigued thumb gently scrolling through the phone.

“Open the door” came a text from his close friend.

His eyes burned. He hesitantly typed, “Door’s unlocked”

The floorboards creaked as the girl walked into the loft with a bright smile and a piping hot container clasped between her hands.

“I got you your favorite soup from downtown. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.”

He didn’t get up. He didn’t thank her. “Why did you do that?”

In that split second her eyes shifted from glowing to deeply hurt.

She didn’t shut down. She didn’t back track. She said what needed to be said. “What is wrong with you?” Those piercing words sounded more like they were begging for an answer than asking a simple question.

“I- I just don’t know why you’d waste your time-”

“Don’t pretend you have my best interest in mind,” she snapped. You never would have guessed that this was the same sweet and giddy girl that just came skating into the loft.

He knew he had a problem. He knew this was his problem but his mind was trying so hard to categorize this as her problem. His thoughts cranked away, trying to rationalize the panic coursing through his veins in a way that didn’t pin the blame on him.

The problem wasn’t that she did something nice for him. The problem was that she paid attention to what his favorite soup was. The problem was that she went out of her way to drive to his favorite take-out restaurant and then in another direction to his loft. The problem was that she thought, in her time alone, that doing something for him would be a worthy use of her energy. The problem was that she thought of him.

Before he could translate his thoughts into verbal daggers she called him out.

“How miserable it must be to be you,” she shook her head in disbelief, “How little do you think of yourself that you feel the need to stop or shame anybody for caring about you? Not just doing a nice favor for you… but really caring for you. Understanding you. Just because you don’t see your own value doesn’t mean I have to stop caring. You hate yourself so you project all of that onto me and I am so sick of it.” Her mouth quivered in contrast to how strong and stern her tone was.

He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t figure out a rebuttal fast enough.

“I am NOT your punching bag!” she cried out with a voice so strained you could hear the exhaustion in her vocal chords.

He rubbed his fingertips on his bloodshot eyes up to his temples. Why was he like this? Hurting her feelings was never his intention. His intention… well… what was his intention? He didn’t know.

Her eyes were wet but she didn’t break eye contact. “I’m not going to apologize for having emotions just because you can’t handle your own! I am entitled to feel things when I’m around you. I’m not going to let your self-hatred stop me. I’m sorry but that’s not a war you’re going to win.”

He panicked, “I- I’m sorry-”

“I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry’!” she was crying now. “I want you to get professional help! I need you to! I need you to be okay! I need you to accept yourself! I need you to take care of yourself! I need you to understand your worth! And in order to get to that point you’re going to need to cry and hurt and feel a whole bunch of uncomfortable feelings and I need you to know that it’s going to get better… and I need you to believe me when I say that! Because if you don’t get to a healthy point then you’re going to lose… and if you can’t handle someone having emotions around you then you’re going to wind up alone.”

Alone.

That.

That was his intention.

A dominating part of him was trying to push people away. Not just any people. The people who care… really care. The people who get inside his head. The closer they were to understanding him when he couldn’t even understand himself meant the harder he needed to push. And she understood him and she got in his head and she saw all his flaws but still cared. That’s why this girl was getting the brunt of his insecurity-spawned and fear-born frustration. An unconscious facet of his brain was trying with full force to wind up alone… because being alone would be easier than handling the emotions that come to the surface when you have a real connection with someone.

– Valerie Parente (4-22-2019)