Credence

Credence by Valerie Parente

What matters to you
when nobody else matters?
What do you believe in
when nobody believes in anything?
When someone tells you
there are no such things as deities
why do you feel inclined
to speak to a higher being?

– Valerie Parente (3-28-2021)

Subconscious Effort

Subconscious Effort by Valerie Parente

Nothing makes me believe in the divinity of the universe
more than the synchronicity between art and the subconscious;
because I could write and write and have no idea what I mean
but when I take a look back I can see what I needed to see
and to think that I initially didn’t understand what I was referencing in my piece
yet it found a way to acknowledge and explain my mentality
that to me is proof that the universe and all its cosmic incredibility is responsive and alive
even inside the deeply hidden facets of my mind.

– Valerie Parente (10-8-2020)

Blessed

Blessed by Valerie Parente

Strength. Compassion. Intelligence. Beauty. Courage. Faith. Love.

The very things that I prayed for in a companion were in me all along.

Lovely

– Valerie Parente (8-12-2019)

I Am My Own Savior

I have had a major breakthrough in the past few weeks.

Before I get into the details of this breakthrough, I need to reiterate the warped thought patterns I’ve had throughout my entire adolescence. Ever since I hit puberty I drilled it inside of me that finding a romantic partner was the key to happiness. And this deeply rooted belief affected me in literally every area of my life. Instead of helping me progress, it stunted all of my growth.
“When I fall in love I’ll be able to start my life.”
“When I fall in love I’ll be able to move out.”
“When I fall in love I’ll be able to stop being anorexic.”
“When I fall in love I won’t be afraid of germs anymore.”
“When I fall in love I’ll feel satisfied with my experiences.”
“When I fall in love I will have a purpose.”

And it took me a hell of a long time to realize that all of this was complete and utter nonsense. Yes, I was told over and over again that it was nonsense, but that didn’t stop me from believing this fallacy and letting it dictate my life.

I can’t tell you what exactly happened the past few weeks… but suddenly… it’s over. Those feelings are gone… and not “gone” in the sense that I kept telling myself I didn’t need someone else but in the back of my mind still longed for it; “gone” in the sense that I completely and irrevocably do not feel like I need someone. Do I want someone? Honestly I don’t really care. But do I need someone? No. Not at all.

Maybe this epiphany hit me because I started reading a lot of nonfiction and expanding my mind and forcing myself to go out and do activities on my own and be my own date for the day. I’m not sure. All I know is that beyond any fraction of a doubt I have had a major spiritual awakening. I can’t explain the “how” of it happening, but I can tell you the outcome. I, for the first time ever in my adult life, feel like I don’t need to be saved. I feel completely satisfied and at ease with the fact that I am my own savior. I am the one who is going to be with me at the end of every single day and I am going to be there for myself and I am not scared of this fact anymore because I am whole on my own. I have everything I need inside my soul and I feel truly connected to the force that created me, whether you want to call it “God” or the “universe” or whatever. I believe in myself. I believe I am made of unconditional love. I don’t need love, I am love. I can rely on myself. I refuse to wait for someone to start my life because my life is here and now and in every present moment and I truly feel like I am never alone. Something inside me feels protected and loved and so far from being on my own while paradoxically feeling like I am a soul that can rely on itself to feel complete.

Now I am just sitting content; looking back at that teenager who numbed herself with mental disorders and I cannot believe I wasted an entire decade thinking so little of myself and putting so much on hold for wait for a savior… and I am in awe that the savior my ego was crying for was me all along.

I am not afraid anymore. I am full and happy and truly in awe that I get to be me.

I do not need anything, I have me.

– Valerie Parente (8-4-2019)

The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand

Nebula TreeThe entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand by Valerie Parente

The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand. I can feel the energy that makes up you and me and everything in between and I am in awe that I did not notice until now how interconnected we all are with the energy we spawned from. I still have longings but I feel so whole and complete like my longings long back for me. I feel that my blessings walk beside me even when they can’t be seen. I am not discouraged when things do not go my way, I am empowered. Every struggle is proof that I am worthy of more than I hoped to settle for and I am in awe and in love with the story the universe writes about me.

– Valerie Parente (9-27-2018)

Sage of Tarkus

Sage of Tarkus by Valerie Parente

The heartaches of war that plagued the land of Segaduses left many civilians absent of faith. Lost. Looking for a reason to live again.

Determined to receive some sort of direction from a beacon of wisdom, a damsel from Segaduses traveled thirty miles by knight and steed to arrive at a cabin deep in the woods of Tarkus, home of the most acclaimed sage in all of the land. She had been on a journey for the past three years, searching for an answer to all of her sorrow. This girl with the mint green eyes convinced herself that the cure to her faithless haze could be found by falling in love. Her journey, for the past three years, was none other than a quest for a beloved hero whom could fill her life with purpose and interpersonal connection.

The gown worn by the damsel of Segaduses billowed like a blossoming tulip as she seated herself across the sage.

“I’ve been expecting you, dear,” the pale old woman stirred her chalice, making a burgundy whirlpool of the most fragrant truth serum. As the aroma wafted into stuffy cottage the damsel’s nostrils were filled and the knowledge she had denied deep in the core of her brain was activated.

With a confident nod the sage pointed to the knight on the stallion, outside of the cabin, whom had brought the Segaduses maiden so far along her journey.

“He is the one,” the strong-minded sage determined. “The man on the stallion is the man you will wed.”

For a fleeting second the damsel’s brow furrowed, then quickly vanished. Suddenly with a panic the enlightened yet shocked girl hastily shook her head, as if to rattle away the wisdom of the perceptive woman before her. “Oh no, no… he can’t be. I’ve known him for three years… he’s, he’s always been there in the background. If he were the one I would have known.”

“Dear,” the sage’s raspy voice lowered to a tender lull, “Knowledge does not require your conscious consent. Sometimes our subconscious knows at first sight, but our mind does not realize that what we felt was knowledge until years have passed.”

It took the frazzled girl a moment to respond. Her mint green eyes shivered as she struggled to make sense of the sage’s wisdom. How could it be? How could she have wanted something so badly but have never realized it was right before her eyes?

Adamant that the sage of Tarkus must have made a mistake, the damsel allowed her stubborn mind to wonder aloud, “But how can he be my hero if he does not have my most coveted traits?”

“Well what are you looking for in a hero, my dear?” the sage asked.

“A hero who has the same interests as I do.”

“So he is a reflection?”

“A hero who loves me unconditionally.”

“So he is a father?”

“A hero who knows how I feel before I say it.”

“So he is omniscient?”

Having given up, the damsel sunk deeper into her seat.

“Dear, what your heartbreak longs for is not a partner. What you are describing is not an equal. You are describing a God.”

Having given up, the Segaduses girl fell deeper into her subconscious, realizing the knowledge her depressed mind had repressed for so long.

"Damsel" by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (11-23-2017)

Trust the Stars

Trust the Stars by Valerie Parente

What is meant to be is already unfolding
Promises we send in space and time
Keep your faith through the darkness of night
And the right pathway will be realized.

Trust the stars
They know your heart.

Destiny is your relationship with the universe
The stars reflect the dust you are made of.
Guardian angels glowing down from above
Writing constellations in a language called love.

Trust the stars
Wherever you are.

The awe that you feel in today
Is not constrained to the starry sky
Whenever you forget about your stellar guide
Remember, you are made of the same light.

Trust the stars
They got you this far.

Stardust

– Valerie Parente (7-2-17)