Tag: fear

Give Them Hell

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Give Them Hell by Valerie Parente

I’m the monster
that my monsters are afraid of
because they wouldn’t be trying so hard to take me down
if they didn’t know what I’m capable of.
The truth is they believe in me
more than anyone else
so when I get paranoid and believe nothing is real
I can still believe in one thing, and that’s myself.

The dark entities in your mind
want to take you down to where the pain dwells
so if they’re gonna make a monster out of you
you might as well give them hell.

– Valerie Parente (10-26-2025)

Fear of Fear

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Fear of Fear by Valerie Parente

I told myself not to think bad thoughts
but that was an impossible mission
because to try to ignore something
is to fail at ignoring it, by definition.

The fear of fear,
it’s a tricky little pest
what you’re afraid of might not be here
but you’re still afraid, nonetheless.
The fear of fear is a reality
and you are its loyal witness
don’t try to wish it away
don’t even try to resist
it can only lose its potency
once you accept that it exists.

– Valerie Parente (9-7-2025)

Irrevocable

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Irrevocable by Valerie Parente

In my anxiety
I imagine
if I lost it all
and in my anxiety
I imagine
my reaction
to if I lost it all
and the first thought that comes to mind
is “I’ve had such a great life”
because something about being without
makes me realize how unfathomably blessed I’ve been
and in what I lack in the present tense
I’ve gained the ability to see how the universe once filled that space
and to be able to recognize a miracle
is an irrevocable miracle in itself.
The world can decay and the universe can evaporate
but to no longer be blind to how life was great
is not a loss, it’s a gain.

– Valerie Parente (3-15-2025)

Bewildered

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Bewildered by Valerie Parente

How utterly perplexing
that the thing I want more than anything
is the thing I fear more than anything.
All that I try to draw towards me
I push away when it’s before me.

– Valerie Parente (3-3-2024)

Queen of Aversions

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Queen of Aversions by Valerie Parente

I have an endless list of aversions
since age 0, almost to my 30s
and it should come as no surprise
that it permeates every area of my life
so here’s my regal attempt
to call out my constant contempt.

The tense muscle, toes curling
intense reflex type of aversion
have to look away
kind of public display
is quite a strong affliction
for someone who claims indifference.

There’s a passion in aversion
a self-preservation so determined
because I don’t fear what’s not special
I fear the things that have potential
so when asked for proof, I’m self-destructive
with only answers in the form of assumptions.

To be one who feels so vehemently
there’s a very distinct possibility
that I falsely identified
the feeling of butterflies
as a sickness to the stomach
because my anxiety was confronted.

Could it really be a coincidence
that the girl with issues so intimate
always just so happens
to never find attraction?
As if I could accurately gage
fingers on the pulse of tangled veins.

Maybe I was just nervous
because on paper it was perfect
and I’m not used to face to face
facing my weakness, facing my strength
and I know I said I didn’t feel any romance
but the truth is, I didn’t give it a fighting chance.

– Valerie Parente (2-21-2024)

Antithetical Thesis

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Antithetical Thesis by Valerie Parente

I have this freedom
a freedom to express
but I am afraid
of my own success
and what it means
to let my laurels rest
because if you like what you see
then I can reap the benefits
but who wants to be a reaper
other than the lord of death?
I don’t want to kill my spark
I want the ever glowing brightness
but I’ve always been in love
with finding beauty in darkness.
It’s all so confusing
the antithetical thesis
the dissonance of my hopes
mixed with poetic justice
because I want to be free
and I want to be complex
but out there on a stage
you might see that I’m less.
I have to put myself out there
if I want to impress
but I crumble from criticism
because I’m such a pathetic narcissist.
I don’t really want the fame
I want the respect
because fame is the curse
that you get when you’re blessed.

– Valerie Parente (9-22-2023)

Venus Fly Trap

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Venus Fly Trap by Valerie Parente

I don’t want to, but I snap
so quick and so crass
locked shut from the past
a paradox I haven’t grasped
because if I wasn’t grabbed
then why do I feel attacked
involuntary and so fast
before I get the chance to relax
like a venus fly trap.

Years of tension so compact
maybe this is what lasts
when you’ve been broken in half
but now I’m more than that
so happy and on track
I guess the trauma stays intact
muscle memories I don’t have
these lips seal in a flash
like a venus fly trap.

This struggle is meant to pass
and I’m going to achieve this task
learn to bloom instead of clasp
I’m still a flower, if you must ask
blossoming among the grass
so much beauty in this craft
with a love so matter of fact
kiss me and I’ll kiss back
like a venus fly trap.

– Valerie Parente (6-6-2021)

The Owl Mind

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The Owl Mind by Valerie Parente

Nocturnal under the moonlight,
with visions of horror,
so many fears when it becomes night,
like a bad dream in color.

Intrusive images play in rotations,
amplified by the dark,
wide-eyed in your fixations,
as you perform your thoughts.

Something about the evening,
the howls elongate and stretch,
so foreboding like a demon,
so much worse when the sun sets.

Vigilant on treetops like a tower,
is it paranoia or being wise?
Everything is scarier after hours,
and yes, that includes my mind.

The owl mind is exhausting,
the owl mind you can’t trust,
but there is no other option,
dark will always follow dusk.

– Valerie Parente (3-31-2021)

The Romance Experiment

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The Romance Experiment by Valerie Parente

I hate trying to make my love life seem relevant
with this nonsense in the world known as The Romance Experiment.
It’s when I give someone a chance
before I get the chance to vomit
then I vehemently try to stop it
and don’t give you any options
back and forth with what I’m wanting
because one second I’m terrified of being alone
the next second I’m terrified of being anything but my own.

Yes it sure is fun, my love
trying to get intimate with me
and when I say I want intimacy
I mean intellectually.

– Valerie Parente (9-21-2020)