Haunted, Not Want It

Haunted, Not Want It by Valerie Parente

It’s not that I’m not over it,
it’s that I never got closure from it.
It’s not that I want what I almost had,
it’s that I’m haunted by the way it passed.
It’s never my intention to turn around,
I just wanna make the old me proud…

When it’s hard to tell the difference
between what you want
and what continues to haunt
I ask myself, am I the host or the witness
of a truth in my heart
or an obsessive thought?

The answer is always the same:
when I was half this age
I wanted exactly what I have in this day,
this longing is an addiction so dishonest
a state of mind of the haunted
and it can be debunked in this way:
having gratitude for today.

– Valerie Parente (8-19-2022)


Sitting on Skulls and Bones

Sitting on Skulls and Bones by Valerie Parente

A pile of skulls and bones,
she sits on them like they’re her throne,
resenting the death that rots beneath,
while presenting the depths of her beliefs.
So much destruction from perfectionism and ultimatums,
so in love with what she had, but love’s what made it complicated,
she was suspended in a bittersweet purgatory,
still existing, but never free,
not quite in heaven, not quite in hell,
and you’d be surprised how bad that felt,
so she did what she does best,
she poured her heart out then she left,
convinced there’d be a savior,
but no one came to save her,
now she mourns all the love she once had,
while the things she loved don’t mourn her back,
it’s a truth she has yet to accept,
so she built this throne out of death,
coping by spinning gold,
out of moping that has grown old,
so regal in all of her grief,
turning life lessons into a trophy,
because there’s so much value in every loss,
you don’t fully see it until it’s gone,
now she sits here in grateful defeat,
honoring the things she willingly reaped,
dead and gone but not dead inside,
because this gratitude is still raw and ripe.

– Valerie Parente (10-9-2020)

The Concept of Destiny

To those of you who do not believe in destiny, please take a moment and turn your attention to what you are grateful for. Grateful for a friend in your life? Think about the fact that you met this person, remember that there is literally an infinite amount of circumstances in the universe that could have prevented you two from meeting. You could go on forever and still never compile a complete list of all potential occurrences that could have happened to prevent the occurrence that you are grateful for. The fact that your life has unfolded in the way that it has is truly remarkable beyond anything you’ll ever be able to wholly fathom. How could you not believe you were meant to be here? How could you not believe that your story was meant to transpire exactly as it has? You are miraculous, and everything wonderful in your life is miraculous.

– Valerie Parente (8-4-2019)

The Way You Treat Me

The Way You Treat Me by Valerie Parente

The way you treat me is not a reflection of my worth
it’s a reflection of yours.
Your value is dictated by your ability to value.
And you will be graced when you show gratitude.
Because I expect
you to project
a level of respect
based on the emotional needs
you should have already met.

– Valerie Parente (6-17-2019)

 

The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand

Nebula TreeThe entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand by Valerie Parente

The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand. I can feel the energy that makes up you and me and everything in between and I am in awe that I did not notice until now how interconnected we all are with the energy we spawned from. I still have longings but I feel so whole and complete like my longings long back for me. I feel that my blessings walk beside me even when they can’t be seen. I am not discouraged when things do not go my way, I am empowered. Every struggle is proof that I am worthy of more than I hoped to settle for and I am in awe and in love with the story the universe writes about me.

– Valerie Parente (9-27-2018)