Tag: growth

The Fine Line of Yearning

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The Fine Line of Yearning by Valerie Parente

Yearning is a fine line
between surviving and thriving
and somewhere along the line
I fell in love with the surviving
the journey to preserve myself
while trusting the timing
that the goal of something else
would be gratifying.

But I didn’t prepare for
the comfort of discomfort
finding home in the journey
finding peace in the yearning.
Waiting
preparing
learning
becoming the best me
and when I finally had my hands on all I dreamed
I couldn’t shake the feeling
that I wanted to go back to sleep.

But now I know who I am
and I know what I will carry with me
and I know closing that circle
is where that fine line completes.

– Valerie Parente (6-28-2026)

Pull

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Pull by Valerie Parente

She feels the pull
of light in equal amounts
the full fledged growth
from a garden she’s planting now.

They say it’s a green thumb
but it’s more like a claw on her hand
the one she used to scrape the dirt
then watch the seeds turn to plants.

This is no burial
it’s a call to rise
for a girl to become the woman
like a flower growing towards the light.

That light is her future self
smiling from above
a perfect reflection
of the frown she came from.

This pull she felt since she was young,
it was always in her view
and the only thing that is with you 100% of the time…
make no mistake, it is future you.

– Valerie Parente (3-22-2025)

Winter Trees

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Winter Trees by Valerie Parente

Winter trees look quite distressed,
naked before the rest
but did you ever notice
that winter trees perfectly reflect
the roots that grow in the depths
of the grime, the grit, the stress,
in the dark it all manifests.

Like dendrites as they work,
planted once, then bringing forth
the nutrients through the dirt,
all you need to grow well versed,
a mirror for what it’s worth
of what goes on unearthed,
bound to one place but still traversed.

Winter trees denote
the truth of the untold,
that the ways we grow
don’t always show
until we withstand the cold,
so let it be known
as above, so below.

– Valerie Parente (2-23-2025)

Garden Girl

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Garden Girl by Valerie Parente

Garden girl
the way she unfurled
took a long time
to fulfill her words.

Garden seeds
dirt on her knees
buried her sadness
with a thumb so green.

Garden rain
it’s just a mind-frame
we could be our gloom
or we could be its grace.

Garden growth
from hell she coped
decided to be resilient
in how she spoke.

There is always a choice
between wreckage and poise
she can’t control the weather
but she could control her voice.

The clouds rolled in
and the garden listened
come rain or tears
it does not know the difference.

– Valerie Parente (7-31-2021)

Venus Fly Trap

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Venus Fly Trap by Valerie Parente

I don’t want to, but I snap
so quick and so crass
locked shut from the past
a paradox I haven’t grasped
because if I wasn’t grabbed
then why do I feel attacked
involuntary and so fast
before I get the chance to relax
like a venus fly trap.

Years of tension so compact
maybe this is what lasts
when you’ve been broken in half
but now I’m more than that
so happy and on track
I guess the trauma stays intact
muscle memories I don’t have
these lips seal in a flash
like a venus fly trap.

This struggle is meant to pass
and I’m going to achieve this task
learn to bloom instead of clasp
I’m still a flower, if you must ask
blossoming among the grass
so much beauty in this craft
with a love so matter of fact
kiss me and I’ll kiss back
like a venus fly trap.

– Valerie Parente (6-6-2021)

Graffiti

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Graffiti by Valerie Parente

Like a graffiti artist
envisioning a new canvas
I saw the writing on the wall
and I was terrified me from the start.
Even though I love to paint my pain
I had never been more afraid
because I knew that space will never be pure again
I got something beautiful at a monumental expense.

– Valerie Parente (3-10-2021)

The One That Got Away

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The One That Got Away by Valerie Parente

My deep-seated
obsessive need
to resolve every one
of my teenage dreams
comes from
my inability
to forgive myself
for developing a deadly disease.

I gave up a decade of my life
I gave up adolescence as a whole
I didn’t have a social life
I didn’t have a chance to grow
I lost important relationships
I missed out on milestones
I let good things get away
in the name of starving my throat.
Anorexia took half my life
in ways I will never know.

So when I suddenly reappear
and it seems out of the blue
when I recall my childhood
like it was yesterday’s news
that’s because the last thing I saw
before sickness came through,
the very last thing I saw
was a different version of you.

I’m 26 years old
and suddenly I remember it all
I’m 26 years old
and it’s nobody else’s fault.

Do not blame yourself
you did nothing wrong
that’s what I tell myself
when the regret comes along.

I don’t know if it’s because
the world is in a dire state
or maybe it’s because
I’ve hit a certain age
but this year I’m realizing
all of my critical mistakes
and my biggest struggle now
is not in what I delayed.
It’s not about getting back
what the eating disorder took away.
It’s not about finding romance.
It’s not about a psychological escape.
It’s not about fixing relationships
or finding new ones to create.
It’s about forgiving myself
for losing a decade.

So when you hear me say
I miss what was nearly mine
the one that got away
the one still on my mind
I’m not talking about someone
in front of my eyes
because the one that got away
was me all this time.

– Valerie Parente (12-4-2020)

The Time Is Up

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The Time Is Up by Valerie Parente

In 2 months you’ll be able to breathe again.
In 2 months you’ll remember the fallen.
In 2 months you’ll learn to live with yourself.
In 2 months you’ll realize what really counts.
In 2 months you’ll find a reason to laugh.
In 2 months you’ll rise above your past.
Because this is God’s way of saying the time is up,
time to come face to face with your fears
time to get to know the mind you’ve been avoiding for 25 years
time to feel the discomfort that matures you through loneliness
time to master your trauma like a true artist
time to look inward for gratification
time to make those long overdue changes
time to show your ego how far you’ve come
time to tell the people you love that they’re enough.
It’s time to see your deepest pain through;
It’s time to contribute to the world that chose to spare you.

– Valerie Parente (3-31-2020)