A Daydreamer’s Cup of Tea by Valerie Parente

I tried to be pretty
so I became pretty creepy
memorizing the potential in a mental state
as if I never wasted it in the first place
losing the life in my complexion
because the real world pales in comparison.

I want to be the best
so I became the best at madness
believing there is a foolproof way
that the make believe can be made
so close I can almost taste it
but I’ve acquired a taste for the bullshit.

I long for something real
while denying the reality here
then I turn around and ask
“Why can’t you be grateful for what you have?”
and I can’t tell if I am my irrational thoughts
or the one who recognizes their implicit flaws.

On paper, it sounds insane
in person, it’s insanely mundane
I say I like it better in my mind
even though I’m more likable here on the outside
but when I try to merge the two scenes
I realize maybe I’m not anyone’s cup of tea.

The truth is, this daydreaming
is a state of mind with no defeating
because even if I achieved the dream
I’d still find solace in further fantasy
the mental and material are forever inverse
and I am my own worst enemy in this universe.

– Valerie Parente (11-10-2023)