Quandary by Valerie Parente
Am I my irrational thoughts
or am I the one that recognizes their insanity?
Could I be innocent
now that I think of it?
– Valerie Parente (12-10-2023)
Quandary
Tag: mental disorder
Heresy
Heresy by Valerie Parente
Who am I
to declare what is
and isn’t
right?
And who are you
to decide which words are
and are not
taboo?
What is
an intrusive thought
if not
an act of God?
It all means nothing
until you assign it meaning
so wield your power
like it’s the only thing to believe in.
– Valerie Parente (11-18-2023)
A Daydreamer’s Cup of Tea
A Daydreamer’s Cup of Tea by Valerie Parente
I tried to be pretty
so I became pretty creepy
memorizing the potential in a mental state
as if I never wasted it in the first place
losing the life in my complexion
because the real world pales in comparison.
I want to be the best
so I became the best at madness
believing there is a foolproof way
that the make believe can be made
so close I can almost taste it
but I’ve acquired a taste for the bullshit.
I long for something real
while denying the reality here
then I turn around and ask
“Why can’t you be grateful for what you have?”
and I can’t tell if I am my irrational thoughts
or the one who recognizes their implicit flaws.
On paper, it sounds insane
in person, it’s insanely mundane
I say I like it better in my mind
even though I’m more likable here on the outside
but when I try to merge the two scenes
I realize maybe I’m not anyone’s cup of tea.
The truth is, this daydreaming
is a state of mind with no defeating
because even if I achieved the dream
I’d still find solace in further fantasy
the mental and material are forever inverse
and I am my own worst enemy in this universe.
– Valerie Parente (11-10-2023)
Ship In A Bottle
Ship In A Bottle by Valerie Parente
I was meant to go places
but I was too afraid
so I hid in a bottle
and became a display.
Trying to preserve myself
might have been a mistake
because now I crave touch
but I’m perfectly encased.
Now I’ve come to realize
as I get older with age
I wasn’t fragile to begin with
I made myself this way
piecing myself together
in a teeny tiny space.
I limited my horizon
when I had potential for waves
but I know better now
this glass, I can break
and when the shards fall
I won’t be bound to one place.
– Valerie Parente (7-20-2023)
Thorns
Thorns by Valerie Parente
Thorns,
wringing my neck
hijacking my own prose
and taking my own breath.
Thorns,
tangled with my veins
I long to protect
the thing that constrains.
Thorns,
why do I wear them proud
as if their scratches
make me profound.
Thorns,
mistaken for a preference
I say I’m comfortable with them
but the discomfort is ever present.
Thorns,
such a cruel joke
because my favorite flower
has always been a rose.
Ravenheart: These Veins Are Not In Vain (A Fantasy Chronicle)
Ravenheart:
These Veins Are Not In Vain (A Fantasy Chronicle)
by Valerie Parente
The veins on her hands
like trees with no leaves
black and branching out
along her anatomy.
That ravenheart pumped,
her sanctum of midnight,
filtering the darkness
in the dead of the night.
It only hurts a little
to be made of this blood
she got used to the pain
and the love it’s made of.
She looks to her veins
and knows they’re not in vain
because with these hands
she learned to create.
Since her birth in the thunder
she whispered before her slumber
a promise the shadows bid unto her
these words of ancient scripture,
“Take this black hole
and make it whole
feed that world
no others know.
Use great stress
to create great depth
and with this alchemy
you destroy fear of death.”
– Valerie Parente (6-9-2023)
Frostbite
Frostbite by Valerie Parente
I don’t think peace of mind
is meant for those alive.
There’s no such thing as closure
there’s only getting older
and though I say I pray for relief
there’s a stronger part of me
that’s encased in thick ice
from the post traumatic life
and I know if I let it melt away
I won’t know who I am today.
Here I am, frozen alive
and it is not a surprise.
To live is to identify with time,
to live is to be encased in ice
and it confuses most
that it feels far from cold.
When frostbitten on the skin
it feels like perpetual burning
and I never quite let go
of the warmth in my soul.
– Valerie Parente (1-2-2023)
Not So Sweet
Not So Sweet by Valerie Parente
Everybody has a bit of a sweet tooth
looking for that candy-coated praise
you wanna call me your honey
but baby I’m an acquired taste.
Maybe I’m not so prone
to that “sweetie pie” catch phrase
I swear I care, I really do
but I’ll be damned if I’m cliche.
Love is hard but loving me is harder
past the honeymoon phase
I’m trying my damn best
but boy oh boy am I to blame.
– Valerie Parente (11-29-2022)
Caution Tape
Caution Tape by Valerie Parente
There’s caution tape
inside my mind
a labyrinth
of words and lines
wrapped around
like ivy or twine
and I don’t know
if I’m the type
to make the most
of warning signs
or if I’m simply
one of a kind
in a maze of trickery
I accidentally cosigned.
Maybe it’s wrong
maybe it’s right
maybe caution tape
is just a means to highlight
the potential in the darkness
that I can’t see inside
so I stand here guessing
what fate might decide.
– Valerie Parente (10-8-2022)
Paint The Stars With Blood (Part I) [A Fantasy Chronicle]
Paint The Stars With Blood (Part I) [A Fantasy Chronicle] by Valerie Parente
Elissa painted the stars with her blood
back when she was numb
a little crimson magic
for the sky’s fabric
stained on purpose
because the creepers said it would be worth it
so she fulfilled that prophecy
when she was so damn naive
illuminating the region
with stars the shapes of demons
but the sun eventually rose
and she could see she was alone
that’s when she found the strength
to no longer identify with pain
it was the bravest thing she ever did
deciding she was more than her emotions.
– Valerie Parente (9-6-2022)
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