Poetry Reading & Analysis (Dissonant Demons ~ Self-Sufficient Psyche ~ Love Is Immortal) (VIDEO)

Features “Dissonant Demons”, “Self-Sufficient Psyche”,
and “Love Is Immortal”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com

Some Kind of Mania

Some Kind of Mania by Valerie Parente

She didn’t just burn that bridge,
she blew it the fuck up,
tied fireworks to the rails
then promptly set them off.
Glitter filled the sky
while the bridge became dust.
But she’s a visual person
so it was worth the fun,
sparkles decorating the air
after an explosive run,
and that bridge between castles
was as good as done.

She let the embers rain down,
proud of the woman she’s become.

– Valerie Parente (11-10-2020)

The Beauty of Darkness (III)

The Beauty of Darkness (III) by Valerie Parente

I do not feel shame
when I am in pain;
I feel grace.

Pain gives you the opportunity to create
something authentically great
from a negative space
and it shows the utmost grace
when you can find honor
in an unfavorable mental state.

– Valerie Parente (11-6-2020)

Idiosyncratic Pain

Idiosyncratic Pain by Valerie Parente

I don’t want to be known for my pain,
I want to make the most of my pain,
and if that entails
emotions to prevail
in a story that parallels
my particular mental hell
and I can make you understand
a specific circumstance
then all will be fine
’cause baby, I’m one of a kind.

– Valerie Parente (10-22-2020)

Being Abnormal

Being Abnormal by Valerie Parente

It’s just lonely…
when you’re not allowed to express pain
because you’re the mentally ill girl who can’t be taken seriously,
when you’re not allowed to drive the freeway
because no one has faith in the skills you’ve achieved,
when you’re not allowed to paint your face
because you never give in to a normal level of intimacy,
when you’re not allowed to respond to hate
because defending your mental state is a luxury,
when you’re not allowed to remember heartbreak
because normal people don’t take this long to grieve,
when you’re not allowed to cut to the chase
because only crazy people act with so much honesty.

It just gets kind of lonely inside my brain
when even your loved ones can’t understand how you operate,
because I know that my honest-to-God pain only frustrates,
adding a whole new layer to what should be normal heartbreak.
I guess what I’m trying to say
is that ordinary things like a broken heart or a common sickness
are a lot harder to cope with when you have a mental illness
because people always have a million rational reasons for why you’re incorrect
but your hyper-sensitive mind has never been dictated by such logic.

– Valerie Parente (10-9-2020)

I’m The Bad Guy

I’m The Bad Guy by Valerie Parente

I’m the bad guy
because I knew how to use my words to paint a picture of how it felt inside.
I’m the bad guy
because I wanted someone I cared about to have a permanent place in my life.
Somehow I’m the bitch and cold-hearted
because I removed myself so you could have the relationship that you wanted.
I’m the bitch and a creep
because losing all the good times devastated me.
I’m the psycho and a trouble-maker
for the tumultuous sadness I’ve put to paper.

I guess it just amazes me that to this day
I’m the one with all the blame
for the hyper-sensitivity I put on display,
the thing about me you once called a strength.
And you might ask “Why is she not over this yet?
Why can’t she shut up and just forget?”
But who cares? This is anonymous.
If its hard to read, that’s your own conscience.

I’m doing better in so many ways
but I think that as the seasons change
it reminds me of the old days
and that brings back a lot of pain
because nothing destroyed me more than when I left
well aware that I was about to lose a good friend
and every now and then I just need to express
the very worst feelings that once felt the best
because it’s still confusing to comprehend.

I want nothing but the ability to cope
with the scars that once marked my hope
and I’m not sure why I even have to explain myself
to the very people who ridiculed my mental health.

– Valerie Parente (10-3-2020)

Pick A Side

Pick A Side by Valerie Parente

I’m either a threat or I’m a mess.
This cannot be a dual process.
Because you say that I’m problematic
and then in the very same breath
that I have no influence on your conscience.
You cannot have it both ways,
I’m either intelligent or I’m crazed.
And if you think I’m a combination of both
then you’re in support of the role I chose.

– Valerie Parente (10-2-2020)