You Are In Charge

You Are In Charge by Valerie Parente

I’m really sick of the narrative
that’s evolved in our society
that you are forever a victim
and you can never achieve autonomy,
that when other people hurt you
all you can do is be defeated
and blame another being
for the ways you’ve been mistreated.

There’s no room for healing
because there’s no personal responsibility
or accountability
or the ability
to take actions into your own hands
and set yourself free
because the things we teach
is that owning your faults is out of reach
and you can never rise above
because you are just a victim
and the only cure is romantic love.

Screw that toxic overdrawn narrative
that tells you to point fingers and cry.
You’re so scared to lose the battle
that you don’t even try.
And there is nothing attractive
about blaming the world for your mind.

– Valerie Parente (9-13-2020)




Never Alone

Never Alone by Valerie Parente

I pray that you remember
your life in this world
is more than just yours.

When you hurt yourself
you hurt your loved ones too
and I hope you see that as proof
that you are never alone inside of you.

– Valerie Parente (9-11-2020)

Minds change but hers stays the same

Minds change but hers stays the same by Valerie Parente

She makes an effort not to cry every day
and the professionals don’t know what to say
because she’s well aware that sympathy fades
and people lose interest when you’re not okay
but she’s already made it up in her broken brain
that she’s going to mourn until she can replace
all the memories she was risky enough to make.
She knows it’s not a healthy way to operate,
she understands how a psyche builds and breaks
and she can read a mind from a mile away
but that’s what got her in this vulnerable place,
she forgot that other minds can give and take
and she kept giving to what became an empty space
because she was hyper aware of another’s mental state
and that’s why it hurts so much when minds change,
that’s why it hurts her so much, every day.

– Valerie Parente (9-7-2020)

The Very Real Reality

The Very Real Reality by Valerie Parente

I talk openly about my mental health
in the hopes that it helps
the people who have a hard time with words
who need a voice that understands the hurt.
These themes revolve around love and loss
and how it replays in obsessive thoughts.
To some it may not seem pretty
but a light needs to be shined on OCD
instead of just ridiculed and teased
because this is the very real reality.
These are not personal attacks, they’re symptoms of a mental disorder
it’s not commentary on anybody except the sufferer.
I pray you can separate yourself from my mental health journey and find solace in this truth,
that when it comes down to brain chemistry, this has nothing to do with you.
You deserve to lead a life that is happy and free
but please, don’t look for that through me.

– Valerie Parente (8-21-2020)

I Don’t Care About “I’m Sorry”

I Don’t Care About “I’m Sorry” by Valerie Parente

Over a decade of deep hurt
frustration that became a part of me
I longed for an explanation to return
but I don’t care about “I’m sorry”.
I realize I’m not going to be cured
by someone else’s apology.
I need to do the inner work
to become the savior I want to be
and I’m flattered by the remorse
but I can’t depend on a back and forth
to remind me of my self-worth
when I can find solace in my own words.

– Valerie Parente (8-20-2020)

Cogs In This Machine

Cogs In This Machine by Valerie Parente

The cogs in this machine
get stuck on repeat frequently
I understand the mechanics of my mind
and how it operates on rapid fire
but sometimes I need to be checked
because I have a tendency to forget
that it’s not normal to dwell and replay
and every now and then I need an update.
It’s gonna take a little grease
to loosen up my psyche,
so if you tell me its time for a cleanse
I’ll take your word and reflect.
It’s not easy for me but I’ll lend my trust
I’ll get down in the dirt and scrape the rust,
then when I get these OCD gears turning again
I’ll try to remember the importance of maintenance.

– Valerie Parente (8-10-2020)

“In Touch” Excerpt (VIDEO)

Happy 2 year anniversary since I published my realistic fiction novel
about obsessive compulsive disorder, “In Touch“!
In honor of the anniversary I read an excerpt from the novel on my YouTube channel.

Book Summary: “Undergraduate physics student, Jef Sterling, has done enough textbook reading to know that the universe is home to countless mind-blowing discoveries. But Jef never expected one of those discoveries to be the mind of an obsessive compulsive writer sharing the same campus as him. After reading a poem by Lacey Parker about her personal struggle with OCD, Jef’s highly rational brain fixates on uncovering the mysteries held captive in Lacey’s highly irrational brain. Throughout the course of a school year these two students exchange ideas that merge science with art, reality with fantasy, and physical phenomena with mental phenomena. While learning from one another Jef makes it his mission to make sense of Lacey’s nonsensical disorder and all of its incredible ironies; how she lives by the notion of feeling everything emotionally but dreads feeling anything physically, how her mind lives to protect as it gradually wreaks destruction, and most paradoxically how both Lacey’s most rewarding qualities and most detrimental flaws manifest from the same brain. In Touch by Valerie Parente is a realistic fiction novel alive with intellectual discussion, mental strife, heartache, and anecdotal insight into the cognitive confines of obsessive compulsive disorder.”