A Mystery

A Mystery by Valerie Parente

When you were young
you wanted to be left alone
for the sole purpose
of attracting a hero.

You didn’t want to be a spouse
you didn’t want to be a camaraderie
you didn’t want to be a parent
you wanted to be a mystery.

You’d sit alone in silence
where smiles were forbidden
because if they understood how you felt
they’d lose all interest.

You were adolescent and vulnerable
and deep in your sins
but would you believe
you were still innocent?

Never call it a conscious choice
when you were tricked to choose
by the shadows in predispositions
trauma of the old and the new.

Despite it all, you wouldn’t call it hell
the pain you endured in the past
hell would have been going through it all
without the support system you had.

You nearly lost it all to the shadows
but you made it out with so much more
manifesting your own enlightenment
you became the hero you longed for.

It is no longer a mystery
how the light shined through
it came through all the cracks
of the hearts that broke for you.

And if you could tell your younger self
one little clue
let it be the resounding phrase
“I forgive you”.

– Valerie Parente (2-8-2025)

Scar Tissue

Scar Tissue by Valerie Parente

You are designed
to heal from the inside out
it can be ugly on the surface
but you should be proud
because these marks take time
and show your defiance to pain
its the art of surviving
so unique to your shape.
You are your own hero
but don’t forget, you are human
and healing takes time
don’t make any sudden movements.
Know when to tend to wounds
and when pain’s at its end
remember, scars don’t bleed
unless you pick at them.

– Valerie Parente (2-6-2025)

Heart In My Throat

Heart In My Throat by Valerie Parente

I had a distressing dream
that my heart was in my throat
and the voice inside of me
didn’t know how to flow.

I struggled to tell the elders
I could not survive like this
but they were just happy
that love in me still exists.

All of my love and heartache
at the same level I consume
the two were not the same
but my signals were askew.

A heart in the throat
is a very strange case
I could still feel it all
it just came from the wrong place.

It is not an easy way to live
and I had trouble vocalizing
how I would not survive
but I kept on surviving.

When I awoke, I remembered my youth
and how I thought I’d die instead of grow
but here I am, my adulthood so full of love
each day fulfilled beyond my wildest hopes.

I think it was young me all along
trying to communicate
“Thank you for believing I was wrong”
to the elder in me today.

– Valerie Parente (1-26-2025)

Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher by Valerie Parente

To catch a dream
you must live with the thought
as if your dream
is already caught.

All you found in your sleep
cannot be lost
just write it down
to manifest the plot.

You’ve seen if before
you will see it again
this time, awake
the way you imagined.

Your dreams are manifestations of your mind.
Your mind is a manifestation of the universe.
Your universe is a manifestation of your dreams.
Creation never ends, it only morphs.

– Valerie Parente (1-4-2025)

Rude Awakening

Rude Awakening by Valerie Parente

I should have known you were a total creep
when you declared “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me”
and we had only been talking for one day that week
when you tried to parade around my anatomy.

Truthfully, I knew something was awry
though I told myself I’m just not used to nice guys
but nice isn’t profuse compliments one, two, twenty times
nice is giving a girl a chance to make up her own mind.

There is such profound violation
in having my time knowingly wasted
and I am far from complacent
to your attempts at emotional manipulation.

Damn right, I take it personally
that you had the nerve to try to corner me
but it took five seconds for me to formally
recognize you only act on insecurity.

My gut told me you were too good to be true
and at the time I didn’t want to be shrewd
but I hope your awakening is quite rude
because I don’t take kindly to being fooled.

This was a very rude awakening of mine;
a lesson that you can’t manifest a “dream guy”
because dreams are meant for closed eyes
and a girl needs to be awake at all times.

– Valerie Parente (5-3-2024)

Untethered

Untethered by Valerie Parente

Being free
and being dizzy
are one in the same
and I’ve never felt more untethered
than when I can’t think straight.

Being fluid
all is moving
and I feel the movement in me
not in sync with the rest
but so close, I am almost complete.

Being uninterrupted
I feel gratitude
when I remember I can feel this way
though I admit, I feel frustrated
when I remember this is not okay to say.

I dream
of this freedom
of being untethered again
moving and fluid
from the fluid within.

– Valerie Parente (2-16-2024)

Bewildered

Bewildered by Valerie Parente

How utterly perplexing
that the thing I want more than anything
is the thing I fear more than anything.
All that I try to draw towards me
I push away when it’s before me.

– Valerie Parente (3-3-2024)

Funhouse Reflex Hex

Funhouse Reflex Hex by Valerie Parente

I have come up with a perfect spell
to keep my body dysmorphia in check,
a hex that allows me to see my mind as it is flawed
and my perception as how those flaws manifest.
First I look at someone I find beautiful
and all I see is skinny and perfect
then I imagine my face on the same exact body
and suddenly all I see is excess.
It is this brilliant trick
that takes me out of my own head,
it is this foolproof witchcraft
I call my Funhouse Reflex Hex
where I can finally separate my reality
from the mental virus
and I can see the flaws aren’t in my appearance,
they’re in the psychological defects.

– Valerie Parente (1-31-2024)

Don’t Cry for Me

Don’t Cry for Me by Valerie Parente

My innocence was bid
once I had unwanted thoughts
so don’t you dare patronize me
with a sign of a cross.
You beg for my forgiveness
from the very same God
that gave me my condition
when I didn’t ask to be flawed.
I make my own power
in the way that I respond
that is in my control
and your control of me is lost.

– Valerie Parente (12-22-2023)

Quandary

Quandary by Valerie Parente

Am I my irrational thoughts
or am I the one that recognizes their insanity?
Could I be innocent
now that I think of it?

– Valerie Parente (12-10-2023)