One Thing Is Certain… Seasons Change

One Thing Is Certain… Seasons Change by Valerie Parente

Days are getting longer,
sunlight shining down,
the sound of burning rubber,
in this cute little town,
and I wouldn’t change a thing,
even if it kept you around.

Sitting on these bleachers,
so far below the clouds,
last year I sat here in torment,
wondering where, when, and how
I’d ever begin to forget the good times,
unaware remembering was allowed.

I mistook peace for apathy,
clinging on to a heavy frown,
thinking loneliness all alone,
was worse than loneliness in a crowd,
but I’ve found my peace of mind,
and in my lonesome it was found.

I’m happier today,
with my feet on the ground,
no more unfair expectations,
in a psyche so loud,
I proved I can survive,
a sadness so profound,
it didn’t make sense at the time,
but I can make sense of it now.

– Valerie Parente (3-9-2021)

Cruelty & Credulity

Cruelty & Credulity by Valerie Parente

sunlight brings out my dark side

Not knowing what is normal has become the norm for me.
And not knowing what’s real has become my reality.
I’m trying to be mindful of what’s fabricated in my mind.
So the cruelest thing you could do is make me believe that my perception is make-believe.

– Valerie Parente (1-31-2020)

Playing With Storms (Diagnose Me)

Playing With Storms (Diagnose Me) by Valerie Parente

I’ve got five different disorders and I can’t afford to be diagnosed with another
But ever since the grief I’ve feel like my brain has spawned a new monster
My emotions are so intense and I freak out then repent
People ask me why I acted out
and I honestly can’t remember why
I remember doing the deed
but I don’t remember why I felt it was necessary
all I remember is that I really truly believed in the feeling’s intensity
and I played with thunderous storms even though I don’t even like the noise
and I think that’s pretty scary
when you can go 25 years understanding the string between your actions and emotions
then suddenly don’t remember why you did something so intense
its like you’re sitting in a backseat watching yourself
there’s a barrier between you and what you do
a major disconnect
and I can’t even begin to try to figure out why
I just know that my mind has become so hard to find
I’ve got five other disorders that I understand inside and out
but I don’t understand the reasoning behind this new rage filled spree
It would be so much easier to address this if someone could just diagnose me.
Please, just diagnose this storm inside of me.
Because then I can begin to master the storms artfully.

The Storm Maker

– Valerie Parente (1-28-2020)

I’m The Crazy One

I’m The Crazy One by Valerie Parente

I’m the crazy one
because I say how I feel right from the start
I’m the crazy one
because I’m brutally honest in all of my art
I’m the crazy one
because I try so hard to be my own savior
then fall prey to self-destructive behavior
and I’m not fucking sure who to trust
the girl I’ve rationalized within me
or the crazy one you all claim to see.

Nightling

– Valerie Parente (1-11-2020)

Aesthetic Reality

"Marvel" by Valerie Parente

Aesthetic Reality by Valerie Parente

You’re starting to realize that reality is subjective
and perception is the byproduct of perspective
Now you’re deciding not to be fooled by the deception
that self-respect is determined by rejection
as if your meaning is for someone else to measure.
But the truth is that you get to choose your mood
because your personhood is dictated by the personal
and aesthetic stems from what makes you authentic.

– Valerie Parente (5-12-2019)