Don’t Cry for Me by Valerie Parente
My innocence was bid
once I had unwanted thoughts
so don’t you dare patronize me
with a sign of a cross.
You beg for my forgiveness
from the very same God
that gave me my condition
when I didn’t ask to be flawed.
I make my own power
in the way that I respond
that is in my control
and your control of me is lost.
– Valerie Parente (12-22-2023)
Quandary by Valerie Parente
Am I my irrational thoughts
or am I the one that recognizes their insanity?
Could I be innocent
now that I think of it?
– Valerie Parente (12-10-2023)
Heresy by Valerie Parente
Who am I
to declare what is
and isn’t
right?
And who are you
to decide which words are
and are not
taboo?
What is
an intrusive thought
if not
an act of God?
It all means nothing
until you assign it meaning
so wield your power
like it’s the only thing to believe in.
– Valerie Parente (11-18-2023)
Ship In A Bottle by Valerie Parente
I was meant to go places
but I was too afraid
so I hid in a bottle
and became a display.
Trying to preserve myself
might have been a mistake
because now I crave touch
but I’m perfectly encased.
Now I’ve come to realize
as I get older with age
I wasn’t fragile to begin with
I made myself this way
piecing myself together
in a teeny tiny space.
I limited my horizon
when I had potential for waves
but I know better now
this glass, I can break
and when the shards fall
I won’t be bound to one place.
– Valerie Parente (7-20-2023)
Thorns by Valerie Parente
Thorns,
wringing my neck
hijacking my own prose
and taking my own breath.
Thorns,
tangled with my veins
I long to protect
the thing that constrains.
Thorns,
why do I wear them proud
as if their scratches
make me profound.
Thorns,
mistaken for a preference
I say I’m comfortable with them
but the discomfort is ever present.
Thorns,
such a cruel joke
because my favorite flower
has always been a rose.
WITCH by Valerie Parente
If I was held accountable
for all my INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
they’d burn me at the stake
then call it an ACT of GOD.
– Valerie Parente (11-1-2022)
Caution Tape by Valerie Parente
There’s caution tape
inside my mind
a labyrinth
of words and lines
wrapped around
like ivy or twine
and I don’t know
if I’m the type
to make the most
of warning signs
or if I’m simply
one of a kind
in a maze of trickery
I accidentally cosigned.
Maybe it’s wrong
maybe it’s right
maybe caution tape
is just a means to highlight
the potential in the darkness
that I can’t see inside
so I stand here guessing
what fate might decide.
– Valerie Parente (10-8-2022)
the illness that wants me all to itself by Valerie Parente
There are voices in my head
that do not belong to me
and when you ask how I feel
I can feel them speak.
There is a pattern in the language
so ripe with irony,
“To be sick is strong,
to be healthy is weak.
The pain finds a cure
when you cut skin deep.
To be sober is trapped,
to be drunk is free.
When you avoid your fears
their power depletes.”
It’s as if by design,
this backwards philosophy,
and I have to share a home
with the voices on repeat.
But I am no lost cause,
I can still find my speech
and maybe that’s why
I can write it so easily.
This illness wants me all to itself
but it will never have entirety
because as long as I have a pen
I can differentiate between
a voice in my head
and the words that compete.
– Valerie Parente (8-20-2022)
Haunted, Not Want It by Valerie Parente
It’s not that I’m not over it,
it’s that I never got closure from it.
It’s not that I want what I almost had,
it’s that I’m haunted by the way it passed.
It’s never my intention to turn around,
I just wanna make the old me proud…
When it’s hard to tell the difference
between what you want
and what continues to haunt
I ask myself, am I the host or the witness
of a truth in my heart
or an obsessive thought?
The answer is always the same:
when I was half this age
I wanted exactly what I have in this day,
this longing is an addiction so dishonest
a state of mind of the haunted
and it can be debunked in this way:
having gratitude for today.
– Valerie Parente (8-19-2022)
Slow/Fast by Valerie Parente
They think I’m slow
in the head
because it takes a moment
to comprehend
but these thoughts
are too fast
as I’m running
from the past.
So many obstacles
in the way
on rapid fire
in this brain.
My mind is not vacant,
you see,
it’s just overwhelmed
at this speed.
– Valerie Parente (6-24-2022)
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