Poetry Reading & Analysis (Broken ~ Mirror Image ~ The Way You Treat Me) (VIDEO)

Features “Broken”, “Mirror Image”, and “The Way You Treat Me”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com

Why?

Why? by Valerie Parente

I’m really not trying to live in the past tense
but why after all the ways you made my mind bend
do I still want to protect you from the consequence
of how you destroyed me with your actions?

I’m really not trying to cause any hurt
you might even ask “why would she print these words?”
and it’s because I’ll never be able to move forward
until I put these feelings on the record.

“Destroyed from the Inside Out” by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (6-9-2020)

Black Hole: A State of Mind

Black Hole: A State of Mind by Valerie Parente

This meltdown is not circumstantial
this meltdown is a state of mind
and I believe this one was looming for months now
when everyday life got flipped upside down
and I didn’t have a chance to grieve the everyday life we had to collectively leave.

I’ve been trying to cope by distracting myself with the people who matter most
which is ten times harder when you have to distance yourself to maintain physical health
and I think after two months one little straw broke the camel’s back and I only knew how to overreact.
The circumstances never changed but a heavy darkness infected my mental state.

It doesn’t make sense for me to be as upset as I am about my personal circumstance
because it’s really not the end of the world
but this state of mind made it feel like I was going to die if I didn’t testify
and this heavy mass of pressure in my soul was simply waiting to cave in
like a black hole.

This state of mind will pass with time
but I’m so scared while I try to make it there
because every second in this black hole
feels like an eternity I can’t control
and I just want things to go back to normal.

– Valerie Parente (5-23-2020)

terrified.

terrified. by Valerie Parente

The most terrifying thing I ever did
was confront my true feelings
because it was either waste my life or admit
any of the joy I had hidden
and as much as I wish this could result in happiness
it’s no longer my decision
because I let go my control of any consequence
by taking that leap and hoping not one but two people could be honest
and I never would have made such a dangerous bet
for anyone who didn’t have my highest respect.

– Valerie Parente (5-22-2020)

Untouched

Untouched by Valerie Parente

My 25 and a half years of suffering doesn’t come from not feeling good enough.
This is a constant issue of feeling like I am good enough
but like God keeps setting me up
for a million and one lessons
about how there’s absolutely no one
who could ever give a fuck
about the body I managed to save
when I tried to die young.

And you can go ahead and say I’m insane for being so broken up
but maybe you’d understand my kind of hell if you spent 25 and a half years untouched
while your mind continues to level up
I get better every day
but the night never comes
where I go to bed with someone
and maybe that’s God’s way of saying
I’m not meant to be loved.

– Valerie Parente (5-20-2020)

Black Hole

Vrikshasana

Black Hole by Valerie Parente

Why is it that
my deepest pain
is not the pain of loss or betrayal or heartbreak
it’s the pain that has no reason for being there
no origin
as if I was simply born with this
and I can’t help but wonder
do other people feel this too?
An inexplicable pull into a black hole? Meant to consume.

– Valerie Parente (3-3-2020)

Pick A Fight

Pick A Fight by Valerie Parente

Sometimes I just want to pick a fight
because I don’t know how to deal with my pain inside
and transferring the blame onto someone else
makes it easier to deal with the battle happening within myself.

To Scratch Herself

– Valerie Parente (2-27-2020)

Rather Be Haunted

Rather Be Haunted by Valerie Parente

Emotions haunt me like ghosts
manipulating the energy inside of me
drawing from what I want the most
because my intensity sets the ghosts free.

The more meaning in my interactions
the more meaning in my poetry
because these interpersonal relations
have me evolving spiritually.

I used to identify as the tortured artist
but now I identify as a human being
creating words so painfully honest
Hurt, feel, heal, then repeat.

The pain never starts out pretty
but the ghosts give me an artistic opportunity
in turn I give them the satisfaction of being seen
while I turn those emotions into a masterpiece.

It isn’t easy learning through ghosts
but if its between getting what I wanted
and the force of emotional growth
then I would rather be haunted.

Haunted

– Valerie Parente (2-25-2020)

Mirror Image

Mirror Image by Valerie Parente

Everything I accused you of, I manifested in myself.
Every letter I wrote to you was a letter to myself.
All the pain and hidden motives I assumed you felt I assumed in myself.
All of my accusations were a mirror image of myself.
You didn’t push me away, I pushed myself away. Because the ego inside this head tried to sabotage any chance of another ego helping me out of this hole I call my soul.

Desperation

– Valerie Parente (12-18-2019)