Under My Skin

Under My Skin by Valerie Parente

They say “you used to be afraid
what is it that changed?”
and the truth of the matter is
fear still crawls under my skin
made from germs that stain
the touch sensors in my brain
with adrenaline on the run
running towards my love
because there’s a difference
between hearing and listening
and I still hear it under my flesh
but I listen fifty percent less
there comes a time when I wash
much lighter, no more scratching off
those bloody knuckles are a thing of the past
because when you touch my hand I want it to last
that anxiety inside still cowers
but the person outside is louder
so I’m carving out the time
to be uncomfortably alive.

– Valerie Parente (6-4-2021)

Luna Moth

Luna Moth by Valerie Parente

Luna moth
come alive in the dark
nocturnal like the moon
at night, we embark.

Lime green
blend with the leaves
make me a home
out of willow trees.

Like phases
from waxing to waning
that cocoon chipped away
and who could blame it?

Spotted wings
like eyes watching
see through my soul
while you’re billowing.

Luna moth
you’ve become my art
I see myself in you
and the light you want.

– Valerie Parente (6-3-2021)

Sequence

Sequence by Valerie Parente

If I got to pick and choose the order
it would still be chronological
because I want you to see the progression
forever a path, and not an obstacle.
Hurting led to healing,
healing led to hope,
hope is ongoing,
and there will always be growth.

– Valerie Parente (6-2-2021)

Dragon Breath

Dragon Breath by Valerie Parente

It happens in spurts,
when I’m on roll with free verse,
I call it dragon breath,
spitting fire from my chest,
coming straight from the heartbeat,
that’s the rhythm of my artistry,
I go off like I’m having a manic episode,
a little psychotic collection of poetry and prose,
this is the dragon breath,
coming in so relentless,
igniting the sound waves,
with the words that I say,
finding shelter in a notebook,
where I organize my outlook,
scribbles of chicken scratch and cursive,
it’s all a mess until I type out the words,
that’s when I set fire to this small town,
the place where my lessons were profound,
sometimes I blame my teenage suffering,
but I think my childhood saw it coming,
and it’s a challenge, speaking my mind,
when mental health is still stigmatized,
because honesty comes first and foremost,
but being professional takes a different toll,
I got burnt before my career began,
and what mattered was making a stance,
making an impact, that’s the priority,
making money, that’s secondary,
trying to balance this dragon breath,
smoke and mirrors where we first met,
it’s about me, but I want it to help you,
trying to make a difference from my blues,
you’ll see these footprints come out red,
’cause I’ve been marking where I bled,
that’s why I favor the violet pigment,
I merged these blues with the blood under my skin,
see this dragon, a serpent with wings.
mental fantasy, that’s my upbringing,
remember that before you test me,
I’ve got daydreams stocked and ready,
products of my first sentient thoughts,
in this little girl’s mind from the start,
and as time continues to pass,
through all the good, through all the bad,
I’ve recorded every single lesson,
from my struggles turned to blessings,
and it comes out so wildly poetic,
literary devices somewhat prophetic,
that’s the dragon breath for you,
a voice made of light through and through,
setting the violet sky ablaze,
it’s all chronic, split by a phase,
remember I’ve had plenty of time,
to condition my conscience to rhyme,
nearly automatic at this point,
the effort comes from forcing poise,
’cause I can be vulgar, I can be ruthless,
I can write a novel out of your delusions,
it’s not an insult, it’s just stress,
taken from this dragon breath,
the world will understand one day,
and I swear I’ll see it through before it’s too late,
don’t wanna be famous after the fact,
God please let me see my impact,
I’ve put so much faith into the universe,
and making sense of the inevitable hurt,
what it means to be human,
you saw it when I drew mannequins,
there has to be a rhyme and a reason,
something for this dragon to believe in,
’cause nihilism never made sense to me,
especially in my darkest times of grief,
see these scales, they act as sequins,
reflecting the light that always seeps in,
that’s why I paint in galaxies,
moons and stars, skeletal trees,
there’s a nature so similar in our scriptures,
and each brain is a motif for the bigger picture,
first an artist who was her own muse,
then chose to be haunted by the truth,
now I’m a moonchild on a stellar quest,
she who comes alive in night’s darkness,
I like to do it all in phases,
like the moon and it’s faces,
Lady Luna and her lunatic state of mind,
something lunar I can use to define,
I could go on for days and weeks,
finding symbols that mirror my speech,
you’ve got my words, the very fire,
no more scars from a pen and lighter,
’cause it’s important we communicate,
instead of dwell in all our self-hate,
we’ve all got it, a bit of dragon breath,
you just need to know what to do with it,
that’s my agenda, my very goal,
spiritual artist, the role I chose,
and I don’t feel any more of a creator,
more like the universe’s mentally ill translator,
’cause the dragon breath comes in quick
and I don’t question its celestial origin,
it all makes sense, the wisdom grows,
awareness builds and acceptance flows,
there’s so much content I want to cover,
as I age I long to nurture like a mother,
and I guess that’s the magic of life,
there’s an intuition that loves to guide,
and it gets sharper day after day,
more fuel I can use to create,
I mix these epiphanies with many muses,
sometimes I see an object and I use it,
dissect what it means to me,
finding a beautiful dark symbology,
you’d be surprised how often it works,
it’s all about manipulating the words,
phrases spoken like breathing fire,
wisdom growing higher and higher,
so take this dragon breath from a silver tongue,
and let it radiate even brighter than the sun.

– Valerie Parente (5-29-2021)

I think God is an artist…

I think God is an artist… by Valerie Parente

More and more each day
I realize that mental illness is poetic.
So many ironies,
so many metaphors,
I think God is an artist…
I’m afraid of what I already am
and that brought me to my knees,
how the mind is like a nesting doll
mirroring the larger reality.
The more lessons I learn
the more I’m able to recognize
the sense of humor
in God’s artistic mind…
it’s kind of sick,
it’s kind of beautiful,
it’s so poetic,
like my own soul…
and maybe that’s the truth
that your maker is no more than you
that your very identity
is one with the God that sees it through.

– Valerie Parente (5-29-2021)

The Giver (II)

The Giver (II) by Valerie Parente

You get what you give
and I’ve given so much
to this narrative
even when there was
a major plot twist
and that’s how you know
you can’t force a feeling
that’s how I know
this path has meaning.

– Valerie Parente (5-28-2021)

Vibes (Beyond Space and Time)

Vibes (Beyond Space and Time) by Valerie Parente

Sometimes we don’t know how to translate
the feelings we want to convey
and that’s perfectly okay
because energy knows exactly what to say
with a voice that needs no sound
with a language you can’t write down;
it’s a communication made of vibes
it’s a reception within the third eye
and you are so damn divine
beyond this space and time.

– Valerie Parente (5-27-2021)

The Giver (I)

The Giver (I) by Valerie Parente

The gift and the giver are one in the same
because your company is the currency
that I’ll never trade
and I am enriched
by the space you take
deep inside
my pretty brain.

– Valerie Parente (5-26-2021)

Change, So Bittersweet

Change, So Bittersweet by Valerie Parente

I’m surely not the first to call change bittersweet
because this is the goal… for you to reach a dream
and that means one day you will leave
from my space in my little reality
and I truly am happy for you
but this mechanism called time is so cruel
because there’s a linear progression
that incites loss in this dimension
and I know you’ll be okay
in this brand new escapade
but that certainly doesn’t mean
I won’t miss witnessing your journey.

– Valerie Parente (5-26-2021)