Praying To Be Heard by Valerie Parente
I don’t know what’s more devastating,
holding onto things that are never said
or saying things that are never read.
– Valerie Parente (5-7-2020)
Tag: poem
Love Vs. Obsession (One in the Same)
Love Vs. Obsession (One in the Same) by Valerie Parente
What is the difference between love and obsession?
Because the two are synonymous in a mind like mine.
And I’m really not trying to cross a line
but I can’t control the way feelings reorganize my mind.
Why is obsession only beautiful
when obsession is mutual?
You say I have to apologize when I care in that beautiful way
Everybody else gets to experience love without the shame
Now the girl with OCD starts to love and it’s called insane
But I really can’t help it that love and obsession have always been one in the same.
– Valerie Parente (4-24-2020)
Valerie’s Thesis
Valerie’s Thesis by Valerie Parente
If there’s one goal in my social life it’s to enchant another person’s mind
The perfect interaction is a transaction where I teach you and you teach me
Just promise you’ll teach me without being preachy
because I thrive on being enlightened and I die when you condescend
so help me understand the world outside and I’ll translate the art sitting in your psyche.
Nothing bothers me more than when someone thinks I’m just a dumb girl
because inside my mind is a large web of things that make me obsessed
and I know that comes across like I can’t find my thoughts.
The truth is I just struggle with my words when I have to speak them into the world
but give me paper and a pen to write and I promise I’ll blow your mind.
I know it sounds pretentious but if I’m being perfectly honest
I’d rather you read what I write than see my picture and click “like”
Yes I still have an aesthetic but that’s just the visual poetry of my intellect
If I have to post my face to get your attention and enter the conversation
then I’ll gladly pose in place only to switch your direction to mental reflection.
I believe our minds are a never-ending storm given a body in this crazy world
that God gave us physical anatomy as our way of making sense of mentality
The pain that comes with having an ego serves to recognize the other in a collective soul
So you better be damn sure that if I find another mind that can discuss this even one time
then I’m going to hold onto that conversation like it’s my most valuable human connection.
– Valerie Parente (4-16-2020)
A Germaphobe’s Hell
A Germaphobe’s Hell by Valerie Parente
When someone else understands the anxiety I’ve been feeling for half my life
I don’t feel comfort, I feel competition.
I worked from the inside out to walk through this hell
and now you’re telling me to turn around and walk with everyone else.
No, I don’t want the world to change their mind and say that my mental strife was justified
don’t tell me that my fears were right all along.
Why would I want to see my disorder become mainstream
after you spent years telling me that my pain is unique?
I understand the necessity to chain us all down as a way to protect ourselves
but I can’t pretend it doesn’t feel like hell
to be told to back-track all your progress
because now it really is a matter of life or death.
– Valerie Parente (4-13-2020)
The Time Is Up
The Time Is Up by Valerie Parente
In 2 months you’ll be able to breathe again.
In 2 months you’ll remember the fallen.
In 2 months you’ll learn to live with yourself.
In 2 months you’ll realize what really counts.
In 2 months you’ll find a reason to laugh.
In 2 months you’ll rise above your past.
Because this is God’s way of saying the time is up,
time to come face to face with your fears
time to get to know the mind you’ve been avoiding for 25 years
time to feel the discomfort that matures you through loneliness
time to master your trauma like a true artist
time to look inward for gratification
time to make those long overdue changes
time to show your ego how far you’ve come
time to tell the people you love that they’re enough.
It’s time to see your deepest pain through;
It’s time to contribute to the world that chose to spare you.
– Valerie Parente (3-31-2020)
Black Hole
Black Hole by Valerie Parente
Why is it that
my deepest pain
is not the pain of loss or betrayal or heartbreak
it’s the pain that has no reason for being there
no origin
as if I was simply born with this
and I can’t help but wonder
do other people feel this too?
An inexplicable pull into a black hole? Meant to consume.
– Valerie Parente (3-3-2020)
Innocently Me
Innocently Me by Valerie Parente
I refuse to feel guilty for being innocently me.
I do nothing to compel, I just act like myself.
You’re not really scared of me,
you’re scared of how you feel when you’re around me
and how you feel when you’re around me is not my responsibility.
– Valerie Parente (3-1-2020)
Self-Sufficient Psyche
Self-Sufficient Psyche by Valerie Parente
How dare you make me feel crazy when you know I could do that all on my own.
– Valerie Parente (2-28-2020)
Pick A Fight
Pick A Fight by Valerie Parente
Sometimes I just want to pick a fight
because I don’t know how to deal with my pain inside
and transferring the blame onto someone else
makes it easier to deal with the battle happening within myself.
– Valerie Parente (2-27-2020)
Rather Be Haunted
Rather Be Haunted by Valerie Parente
Emotions haunt me like ghosts
manipulating the energy inside of me
drawing from what I want the most
because my intensity sets the ghosts free.
The more meaning in my interactions
the more meaning in my poetry
because these interpersonal relations
have me evolving spiritually.
I used to identify as the tortured artist
but now I identify as a human being
creating words so painfully honest
Hurt, feel, heal, then repeat.
The pain never starts out pretty
but the ghosts give me an artistic opportunity
in turn I give them the satisfaction of being seen
while I turn those emotions into a masterpiece.
It isn’t easy learning through ghosts
but if its between getting what I wanted
and the force of emotional growth
then I would rather be haunted.
– Valerie Parente (2-25-2020)
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