The Phases of My Mental Health (So Far…)

The Phases of My Mental Health (So Far…) by Valerie Parente

My crown,
on a daydreamed version of myself,
turned to antlers,
on a haunted version of myself,
turned to horns,
on a metaphysical version of myself,
and I,
will never be overwhelmed,
by the phases,
of my mental health.

– Valerie Parente (6-25-2021)

3rd Poetry & Prose Collection Coming Soon
on Amazon.com

Fever Dream

Fever Dream by Valerie Parente

It should not be hard to believe
her manifesto is written in poetry
a declaration of every insight
she finalized with the moonlight.
A quill pen in her hand
from the feather of a phoenix
and her tempo flows and flows
a silver tongue put to a scroll.
That poet’s name, it’s Valerie
a doll manifesting her fever dream
collecting lessons like mannequins
while she learns to love again.

– Valerie Parente (6-5-2021)

Dragon Breath

Dragon Breath by Valerie Parente

It happens in spurts,
when I’m on roll with free verse,
I call it dragon breath,
spitting fire from my chest,
coming straight from the heartbeat,
that’s the rhythm of my artistry,
I go off like I’m having a manic episode,
a little psychotic collection of poetry and prose,
this is the dragon breath,
coming in so relentless,
igniting the sound waves,
with the words that I say,
finding shelter in a notebook,
where I organize my outlook,
scribbles of chicken scratch and cursive,
it’s all a mess until I type out the words,
that’s when I set fire to this small town,
the place where my lessons were profound,
sometimes I blame my teenage suffering,
but I think my childhood saw it coming,
and it’s a challenge, speaking my mind,
when mental health is still stigmatized,
because honesty comes first and foremost,
but being professional takes a different toll,
I got burnt before my career began,
and what mattered was making a stance,
making an impact, that’s the priority,
making money, that’s secondary,
trying to balance this dragon breath,
smoke and mirrors where we first met,
it’s about me, but I want it to help you,
trying to make a difference from my blues,
you’ll see these footprints come out red,
’cause I’ve been marking where I bled,
that’s why I favor the violet pigment,
I merged these blues with the blood under my skin,
see this dragon, a serpent with wings.
mental fantasy, that’s my upbringing,
remember that before you test me,
I’ve got daydreams stocked and ready,
products of my first sentient thoughts,
in this little girl’s mind from the start,
and as time continues to pass,
through all the good, through all the bad,
I’ve recorded every single lesson,
from my struggles turned to blessings,
and it comes out so wildly poetic,
literary devices somewhat prophetic,
that’s the dragon breath for you,
a voice made of light through and through,
setting the violet sky ablaze,
it’s all chronic, split by a phase,
remember I’ve had plenty of time,
to condition my conscience to rhyme,
nearly automatic at this point,
the effort comes from forcing poise,
’cause I can be vulgar, I can be ruthless,
I can write a novel out of your delusions,
it’s not an insult, it’s just stress,
taken from this dragon breath,
the world will understand one day,
and I swear I’ll see it through before it’s too late,
don’t wanna be famous after the fact,
God please let me see my impact,
I’ve put so much faith into the universe,
and making sense of the inevitable hurt,
what it means to be human,
you saw it when I drew mannequins,
there has to be a rhyme and a reason,
something for this dragon to believe in,
’cause nihilism never made sense to me,
especially in my darkest times of grief,
see these scales, they act as sequins,
reflecting the light that always seeps in,
that’s why I paint in galaxies,
moons and stars, skeletal trees,
there’s a nature so similar in our scriptures,
and each brain is a motif for the bigger picture,
first an artist who was her own muse,
then chose to be haunted by the truth,
now I’m a moonchild on a stellar quest,
she who comes alive in night’s darkness,
I like to do it all in phases,
like the moon and it’s faces,
Lady Luna and her lunatic state of mind,
something lunar I can use to define,
I could go on for days and weeks,
finding symbols that mirror my speech,
you’ve got my words, the very fire,
no more scars from a pen and lighter,
’cause it’s important we communicate,
instead of dwell in all our self-hate,
we’ve all got it, a bit of dragon breath,
you just need to know what to do with it,
that’s my agenda, my very goal,
spiritual artist, the role I chose,
and I don’t feel any more of a creator,
more like the universe’s mentally ill translator,
’cause the dragon breath comes in quick
and I don’t question its celestial origin,
it all makes sense, the wisdom grows,
awareness builds and acceptance flows,
there’s so much content I want to cover,
as I age I long to nurture like a mother,
and I guess that’s the magic of life,
there’s an intuition that loves to guide,
and it gets sharper day after day,
more fuel I can use to create,
I mix these epiphanies with many muses,
sometimes I see an object and I use it,
dissect what it means to me,
finding a beautiful dark symbology,
you’d be surprised how often it works,
it’s all about manipulating the words,
phrases spoken like breathing fire,
wisdom growing higher and higher,
so take this dragon breath from a silver tongue,
and let it radiate even brighter than the sun.

– Valerie Parente (5-29-2021)

Lady Luna and the Haunted

Lady Luna and The Haunted by Valerie Parente

Eventually Lady Luna realized
that the ones most haunted
are the ghosts themselves
because those entities embody
the very thing we have in common
a soul suspending from the wanting
a better life from the past onward
and Lady Luna’s epiphany started
when she felt the collective conscience
it said, “pain is just an option
a pattern we fall into, far too often
because time dictates losses
but acceptance is the calling
that heals all who have fallen”.

What is
has always been,
what isn’t
is only an influence
on the attitude you choose to invest in
not the reality your soul is within.

– Valerie Parente (5-24-2021)

Ghostly

Ghostly by Valerie Parente

She was dead 10 months ago,
free to roam on her own,
she could go anywhere… anywhere at all,
except the place that she belonged.

It was a kind of art, being haunted,
and to be the one doing the haunting,
she mastered it ever so well,
translating and transferring her hell.

Nearly a year passed, and the day came,
where she was resurrected from her pain,
it didn’t happen because people believed,
it happened because she finished her grief.

She is still ghostly under the moon,
and that should be a warning to you,
you can never scare her with death threats,
because she already knows what it’s like to be dead.

– Valerie Parente (4-12-2021)

Moonlight

Moonlight by Valerie Parente

I used to be haunted,
at the mercy of the night,
but now the night lives in me,
so I manipulate the moonlight.

I used to see ghosts,
trapped in space and time,
but now I see this reality,
without the irrational fright.

I know I obsess in phases,
and that gave me the insight,
that fixations are not fixed,
they’re just a state of mind.

Like water that flows,
as the moon controls the tide,
moods always come and go,
that’s just a part of life.

I am more than my mental state,
I am a body with moonlight inside,
call it energy, call it a soul,
call it proof of a spiritual kind.

– Valerie Parente (2-28-2021)

Invincible

Invincible by Valerie Parente

The glory of being open about mental health
is that nobody can weaponize it against you.
Anything you say, I’ve already said myself
and nothing is more invincible than living your truth.

– Valerie Parente (2-3-2021)

Art Without Fame

Art Without Fame by Valerie Parente

Artistic displays without God-like fame gets you weird looks.
Promiscuous fashion without hollow passion gets you unsold books.
Poetic mindsets without a publisher’s subtext gets you ridiculed.
Free expression without others’ discretion gets you verbal abuse.
Because it’s okay to feel hurt
as long as you have a following
and it’s okay to create stories
as long as you’re not being honest
but the moment you draw from your real life
without the public’s hype
that’s when they call you the bad guy;
Because art without fame is just the diary of a lunatic.
Love without a mate gets you deemed the psycho chick.
And this is not a complaint, just a reminder that I’m aware of it.
So bid me your hate, I’m already immune to it.

I’ve learned to accept that when you merge intellect with fishnets
as a way to project an explicit mindset and mental health awareness
you’ll get teased by the rest but I’m okay with that tes
because I’ve overcome too much stress against the odds of my illness
to still give a fraction of a shit.

– Valerie Parente (1-12-2021)