Homesick

Homesick by Valerie Parente

They say home is a state of mind
but I’ve been homesick for quite some time
trying to find solace in words and rhymes
because a replacement for you is so hard to find.

I’m just a poet looking for a place to belong
a mindset I’ve compensated for, for so long
ever since that one safe haven went wrong
and our house burned to the ground.

It’s been 12 years wandering the same path
and I wonder when I’ll finally get sick of that,
I think it’s time to hold my breath and go back
and find peace of mind in that other half.

– Valerie Parente (8-25-2020)

Black Hole: A State of Mind

Black Hole: A State of Mind by Valerie Parente

This meltdown is not circumstantial
this meltdown is a state of mind
and I believe this one was looming for months now
when everyday life got flipped upside down
and I didn’t have a chance to grieve the everyday life we had to collectively leave.

I’ve been trying to cope by distracting myself with the people who matter most
which is ten times harder when you have to distance yourself to maintain physical health
and I think after two months one little straw broke the camel’s back and I only knew how to overreact.
The circumstances never changed but a heavy darkness infected my mental state.

It doesn’t make sense for me to be as upset as I am about my personal circumstance
because it’s really not the end of the world
but this state of mind made it feel like I was going to die if I didn’t testify
and this heavy mass of pressure in my soul was simply waiting to cave in
like a black hole.

This state of mind will pass with time
but I’m so scared while I try to make it there
because every second in this black hole
feels like an eternity I can’t control
and I just want things to go back to normal.

– Valerie Parente (5-23-2020)