Toxins

"Sober" by Valerie Parente

Toxins by Valerie Parente

I became the person I tried not to be
because it got way too hard being me.

 

 

 

 

– Valerie Parente (12-12-2019)

Comparing Scars

Tiara

Comparing Scars by Valerie Parente

I don’t feel great when other girls talk about their pain
because I feel like I have to one-up them just to validate my struggle
and I know it’s ridiculous that I actually feel jealous
of someone else’s suffering as if it’s a form of currency
like it’s a competition of whose scar is more impressing
I feel the need to defeat her by showing a cut that’s deeper
because if I’m the one who’s talked about then maybe I’ll no longer doubt myself.

I know it’s sick and warped how much I crave to be heard
I’m longing for attention more than I long for redemption
I don’t need some comfort, all I need is to come first
some kind of stage or grand display to say my hardship wasn’t in vain
it’s not just about being different, it’s about justifying the infliction
all that I’ve carved upon myself instead of asking for some help
and I know this truth is ugly but I need to speak with honesty
because if I can’t at least be real then there’s no point to how I feel.

– Valerie Parente (5-19-2019)

 

toxic relations

toxic relations by Valerie Parente

There’s something I need to say
about the way you behave
You’ve become a cliché
just a guy who plays games
a fool desperate to claim
that you aren’t so strange
thinking a girl can replace
all of your negative traits
as if you could erase
every ounce of self-hate
with the sound of a female’s name
but at the end of the day
your connection with her is strained
she doesn’t really relate
you use each other to manipulate
that dark and empty space
that rots in your depressed brains.
But you won’t admit your mistake
I know you’ll try to debate
say that you’re honestly okay
but say it with a straight face.
say you’re not a pathetic display
of all that time you had me waste.

There’s something I need to get off my chest
about the way you’ve digressed
You’ve become so obsessed
with destroying relationships
in the name of loneliness
imprinting the egocentric
on someone you barely met
and it’s so inappropriate
how you made her your outlet
meanwhile your friends
the ones who emotionally invest
can only shake their heads.
You know I tried my best
cause I’ve been in that mess
so Goddamn depressed
A mind with no self-respect.
And I just want to protect
one of my favorite humans
from a pattern so toxic
because if you weren’t worth it
I wouldn’t have written this.

– Valerie Parente (4-3-2019)