Features “The Creeper” and “Sage of Tarkus”
from The Artist, The Muse on Amazon.com
Tag: Valerie Parente
Too Much Loss For One Year
Too Much Loss For One Year by Valerie Parente
This has been a really devastating year
with more loss than our brains can comprehend,
some said with goodbyes
some with unfinished sentences.
It’s not that we’re okay with the loss,
it’s that we didn’t have a chance to lament.
It’s not that we’re dwelling in the past,
it’s that there was no proper end.
And it’s not that I’m mad or insensitive,
but there are some goodbyes I simply cannot accept.
Some explanations are not just explanations
but a farewell, my dear friend.
And I guess the collective conscience within all of us
is learning a very hard lesson,
that the world will keep on turning
no matter who’s lost interest.
– Valerie Parente (10-17-2020)
Being Abnormal
Being Abnormal by Valerie Parente
It’s just lonely…
when you’re not allowed to express pain
because you’re the mentally ill girl who can’t be taken seriously,
when you’re not allowed to drive the freeway
because no one has faith in the skills you’ve achieved,
when you’re not allowed to paint your face
because you never give in to a normal level of intimacy,
when you’re not allowed to respond to hate
because defending your mental state is a luxury,
when you’re not allowed to remember heartbreak
because normal people don’t take this long to grieve,
when you’re not allowed to cut to the chase
because only crazy people act with so much honesty.
It just gets kind of lonely inside my brain
when even your loved ones can’t understand how you operate,
because I know that my honest-to-God pain only frustrates,
adding a whole new layer to what should be normal heartbreak.
I guess what I’m trying to say
is that ordinary things like a broken heart or a common sickness
are a lot harder to cope with when you have a mental illness
because people always have a million rational reasons for why you’re incorrect
but your hyper-sensitive mind has never been dictated by such logic.
– Valerie Parente (10-9-2020)
Subconscious Effort
Subconscious Effort by Valerie Parente
Nothing makes me believe in the divinity of the universe
more than the synchronicity between art and the subconscious;
because I could write and write and have no idea what I mean
but when I take a look back I can see what I needed to see
and to think that I initially didn’t understand what I was referencing in my piece
yet it found a way to acknowledge and explain my mentality
that to me is proof that the universe and all its cosmic incredibility is responsive and alive
even inside the deeply hidden facets of my mind.
– Valerie Parente (10-8-2020)
Like Fine China (Analysis)
Like Fine China Analysis
I wrote this poem, “Like Fine China“, without fully understanding what my subconscious was trying to tell me. After reading it a couple of times I realized the meaning behind the words. Fine China is the symbol for making art (something beautiful) out of sadness. The sadness is a constant cycle that manifests itself like patterns on fine China, royal “blue” (sad) details that I’ve etched upon the surface (my writing). When I have days that I break down, the porcelain breaks down, and I could use the jagged pieces of sadness to hurt myself but instead I choose to use them to build a display out of the broken pieces in the form of a porcelain vase (art from my mental breakdown) and there I show off pretty flowers (rhymes through poetry). The problem that arises from creating art out of sadness, sometimes sadness that a 3rd party might see as “old news”, is that these emotions I’ve recited are as good as dead to the world, hence why the flowers in the fine China vase I’ve built are decaying. The wonder in this, though, is that those decaying flowers offer me, the writer, solace. The cycle of sadness and creativity continues as the decaying flowers become a beautiful floral tea that I turn to for comfort as a grieve the ongoing pain I’m still in. Other people don’t see the benefit of the flowers (writing about perpetual pain), but I do. The entire process from fine china to a floral tea is cathartic, as is the artistic process, and in the end I feel okay and like I can survive my own mental state. Alas, a new day comes, the sadness inevitably returns as I am overwhelmed with reminders from the real world, and the pretty pain goes back to being “too pretty to comprehend” (commentary on not fully understanding what I was writing in the poem itself “Like Fine China”). Thus the entire breaking down of fine china (delving into an artistic outlet) occurs again.
Isn’t it incredible how art can be completely mindless but reveal something so profound in the mind it spawns from?
– Valerie Parente (10-6-2020)
Poetry Reading & Analysis (Grand Scheme ~ The Fear I Long For ~ Ghosts In My Room) (VIDEO)
Features “Grand Scheme”, “The Fear I Long For”,
and “Ghosts In My Room”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com
Pick A Side
Pick A Side by Valerie Parente
I’m either a threat or I’m a mess.
This cannot be a dual process.
Because you say that I’m problematic
and then in the very same breath
that I have no influence on your conscience.
You cannot have it both ways,
I’m either intelligent or I’m crazed
and if you think I’m a combination of both
then you’re in support of the role I chose.
– Valerie Parente (10-2-2020)
The Universe Inside of You
The Universe Inside of You by Valerie Parente
Do not get freaked out
that everything you do
seems to have a common theme.
Be amazed that your subconscious
understands the grand scheme.
Because your mind is the universe’s method
of making itself seen.
– Valerie Parente (9-27-2020)
Sad
Sad by Valerie Parente
I’m sad
about the things that still don’t make sense.
I’m sad
about decisions I try not to regret.
And I’m really sad
but I know that I did what needed to be done.
I guess I’m just sad
that you never tried to stop me once.
– Valerie Parente (9-23-2020)
There’s Clearly Something Wrong With Me But I Kind of Don’t Care Anymore
There’s Clearly Something Wrong With Me But I Kind of Don’t Care Anymore
by Valerie Parente
I once had a date try to kiss me
I shoved him off of me ever so quickly.
I once had a man grab me by the waist
I ran off before I could see the embarrassment on his face.
I once had a guy hold my hand on a walk
all I could think was “I can’t wait to wash him off”.
I once had a movie night with a boy that drove me insane
I was pissed when he interrupted every scene for foreplay.
I once had a guy ask me for a kiss
I was so damn uncomfortable I purposely missed.
I once had a boy text me over and over about his day
I didn’t add him in my contacts in the hopes he’d go away.
Not once, not twice, not even three times
did I go out of my way to make a fool of these guys
because when someone sees romantic potential in me
you can bet I’ll try to sabatoge it immediately.
– Valerie Parente (9-21-2020)
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