Sad by Valerie Parente
I’m sad
about the things that still don’t make sense.
I’m sad
about decisions I try not to regret.
And I’m really sad
but I know that I did what needed to be done.
I guess I’m just sad
that you never tried to stop me once.
– Valerie Parente (9-23-2020)
There’s Clearly Something Wrong With Me But I Kind of Don’t Care Anymore
by Valerie Parente
I once had a date try to kiss me
I shoved him off of me ever so quickly.
I once had a man grab me by the waist
I ran off before I could see the embarrassment on his face.
I once had a guy hold my hand on a walk
all I could think was “I can’t wait to wash him off”.
I once had a movie night with a boy that drove me insane
I was pissed when he interrupted every scene for foreplay.
I once had a guy ask me for a kiss
I was so damn uncomfortable I purposely missed.
I once had a boy text me over and over about his day
I didn’t add him in my contacts in the hopes he’d go away.
Not once, not twice, not even three times
did I go out of my way to make a fool of these guys
because when someone sees romantic potential in me
you can bet I’ll try to sabatoge it immediately.
– Valerie Parente (9-21-2020)
The Romance Experiment by Valerie Parente
I hate trying to make my love life seem relevant
with this nonsense in the world known as The Romance Experiment.
It’s when I give someone a chance
before I get the chance to vomit
then I vehemently try to stop it
and don’t give you any options
back and forth with what I’m wanting
because one second I’m terrified of being alone
the next second I’m terrified of being anything but my own.
Yes it sure is fun, my love
trying to get intimate with me
and when I say I want intimacy
I mean intellectually.
– Valerie Parente (9-21-2020)
Features “Looking At The World Upside Down”, “Tangled”, and “Worth It”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com
You Are In Charge by Valerie Parente
I’m really sick of the narrative
that’s evolved in our society
that you are forever a victim
and you can never achieve autonomy,
that when other people hurt you
all you can do is be defeated
and blame another being
for the ways you’ve been mistreated.
There’s no room for healing
because there’s no personal responsibility
or accountability
or the ability
to take actions into your own hands
and set yourself free
because the things we teach
is that owning your faults is out of reach
and you can never rise above
because you are just a victim
and the only cure is romantic love.
Screw that toxic overdrawn narrative
that tells you to point fingers and cry.
You’re so scared to lose the battle
that you don’t even try.
And there is nothing attractive
about blaming the world for your mind.
– Valerie Parente (9-13-2020)
Past Tense Mentality by Valerie Parente
I only experience a small percentage of my current reality
because a huge part of me is stuck in a past tense mentality.
I have a bad habit of seeing the world like its purely history
and every fleeting moment, a potential novel in a library.
It’s a hoarder’s kind of mind, in a sense
one that values past time over presence
and that’s quite the paradox in the big scheme
because everything present becomes memory.
So when you tell me you’re done with your stay
well I was just warming up to yesterday.
– Valerie Parente (9-9-2020)
Scary by Valerie Parente
I scare off potential suitors
because I’m scared of potential in suitors.
I say that I don’t want to be alone
but I panic when I’m not on my own.
Maybe I like to be creepy,
I like to be prude
because I see every guy as creepy
and I’m not full-proof.
So next time I have the nerve to wonder why I’m a lonely person
make sure you remind my nerves that their the ones warding off perfectly fine men.
– Valerie Parente (9-8-2020)
Minds change but hers stays the same by Valerie Parente
She makes an effort not to cry every day
and the professionals don’t know what to say
because she’s well aware that sympathy fades
and people lose interest when you’re not okay
but she’s already made it up in her broken brain
that she’s going to mourn until she can replace
all the memories she was risky enough to make.
She knows it’s not a healthy way to operate,
she understands how a psyche builds and breaks
and she can read a mind from a mile away
but that’s what got her in this vulnerable place,
she forgot that other minds can give and take
and she kept giving to what became an empty space
because she was hyper aware of another’s mental state
and that’s why it hurts so much when minds change,
that’s why it hurts her so much, every day.
– Valerie Parente (9-7-2020)
Dead To Me by Valerie Parente
Go ahead and be dead to me,
but don’t be surprised when I grieve.
– Valerie Parente (9-3-2020)
The Magic of Writing by Valerie Parente
Sometimes when I write poetry
I have one particular line
then I build around it over time
with specific syllables and rhymes
while forming a story-line.
Sometimes when I write prose
I have a thought in my mind
and as it starts to materialize
I come to gradually realize
an ongoing theme that transpires.
I think writing is pure magic
because I hear a phrase in my brain
then use a pen to translate
and tap into your mental space
with ease and literary grace.
– Valerie Parente (9-1-2020)
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