I Just Want Attention by Valerie Parente
All I really want is attention
to make up for what I lost
because I ruined something good
by wanting more than I got.
I can’t help stringing people along
then cutting them off
because I’m trying to move on
but they’re not really what I want.
I need to be satisfied with myself
and I guess realizing that is a good start
and I shouldn’t ruin more people
just to fill the hole in my heart.
– Valerie Parente (12-27-2019)
Mirror Image by Valerie Parente
Everything I accused you of, I manifested in myself.
Every letter I wrote to you was a letter to myself.
All the pain and hidden motives I assumed you felt I assumed in myself.
All of my accusations were a mirror image of myself.
You didn’t push me away, I pushed myself away. Because the ego inside this head tried to sabotage any chance of another ego helping me out of this hole I call my soul.
– Valerie Parente (12-18-2019)
Note to Self by Valerie Parente
Don’t say you’re doing something for someone else when you’re really just trying to keep the story straight that your ego has been writing.
Don’t tell someone they’re broken and act like it’s to help them when it’s really just rooted in your need to feel valued.
Don’t send the opposite message of what you really mean when what you really want is for someone to fight for you.
Don’t lie to yourself or the ones you love any more.
Be brutally honest with yourself until it hurts, then begin to heal.
Because you can’t heal until you feel that hurt.
And you hurt the ones you love when you don’t heal yourself.
– Valerie Parente (12-13-2019)
Toxins by Valerie Parente
I became the person I tried not to be
because it got way too hard being me.
– Valerie Parente (12-12-2019)
Sad Truth by Valerie Parente
“What did I do to deserve such disrespect?”
“You loved someone who doesn’t even love themself.”
– Valerie Parente (12-9-2019)
Boys by Valerie Parente
The teacher turned to the schoolgirls, “And what do we say when boys break our hearts?”
The girls raised their hands, “They get rid of our writer’s block.”
– Valerie Parente (12-8-2019)
Grand Scheme by Valerie Parente
I always felt like my mind was too big to fit inside me
that any attempt at fully articulating my thoughts would surely be a masterpiece
because the universe is always trying to whisper her poetry
and if I can capture just one conscious stream
then all the world’s pain would be worth it in the grand scheme.
– Valerie Parente (12-3-2019)
Rise Above by Valerie Parente
You beat me to the punch
Knocked me upside the head
But I got off the ground once
I can do it again.
– Valerie Parente (11-29-2019)
Projection by Valerie Parente
you never really did care, did you?
it was never about my feelings
it was about abiding your ego
and the anxiety that makes it seem whole
when in reality you’ve just been stuffing fear into a structure you call personality
fear of intimacy
fear of commitment
fear of emotions
it was never really about me not being good enough
it was about you maintaining your phobias.
– Valerie Parente (11-25-2019)
Emotional Depth by Valerie Parente
On the nights I can’t express myself
It’s because I feel underwhelmed.
The world of feelings is my fuel
and I’ll be damned if I don’t bruise.
If there is no emotional depth
then I am nothing but useless.
– Valerie Parente (11-24-2019)
valerieparente 