Confrontation by Valerie Parente
I was hoping for a confrontation
because confrontation is better than the static of listening to you lie to yourself again and again
and if you’re willing to sacrifice your emotional growth to be “right” then I have no problem spending time with people farther along in life.
– Valerie Parente (6-10-2019)
“String Me Along”
Tangled by Valerie Parente
All these tangled thoughts
have one common thread
twisted in a pattern
I’ve memorized in my head.
Stringing me along
with so much time spent
leaving me weak and worn
frayed and torn to shreds.
So much pretty yarn
it tells me where I’ve been
but it’s nobody’s concern
when I tie up the loose ends.
I wonder how long
until someone notices
I’ve been weaving my words
hoping that they’ll be read.
– Valerie Parente (5-31-2019)
A Poetic Manifesto by Valerie Parente
What it means to be an artist is that I take my life experiences and process them through a creative filter. My internal world manifests best through the art of written word. As a result, when I’m in pain I might write a “dark” piece. To those who find this work disturbing, this is my rebuttal.
I have every right to say anything I want to say
because this page is my stage and this is my brain
and the reason you felt uncomfortable when you read it
was because you have resonated with it.
If you become upset knowing that I am broken
then please understand that writing about my mental health
is how I begin to heal myself.
I will never stop emoting and hurting and healing and if any of this is problematic for someone then I pray you find the strength to learn how to be human one day.
– Valerie Parente (5-30-2019)
the truth is, I’m frustrated by Valerie Parente
I’ve been the strong one. I’ve proved I’m smart, have a heart, and can read the mind of the most troubled. I’ve traveled, I’ve stayed, I’ve gone out of my way, I’ve done everything under the sun to prove that I am good enough. I’ve felt high, I’ve felt brave, I’ve felt the electricity every cliché claims. I’ve given time, I’ve given space, and left you so amazed. I’ve been brutally honest, I’ve been reassuring, even when my mind was hurting. I’ve been a friend, I’ve been family, I’ve been a team-player even when you played me. I’ve been wise, I’ve been right, and I understand your mind when I write my lines. I’ve been forgiving, I’ve maintained a good mood even when I should have been rude. I’ve been sweet, I’ve been grateful, even when I should have hated you. I’ve been impressive, I’ve been respectful, I’ve shielded you from my pain even when it drove me mental. I’ve gone above and beyond and I did it for what?
At what point did I go wrong?
I see a boy care about me then I watch it dissolve.
What is it about me that nobody wants?
Because every time I care I become the saddest person of all.
The truth is, I’m frustrated, and I think I have every right to be. Because I’ve been the kindest person of all and the girl God needed from me. So why the hell am I alone? Why the hell am I unseen? I’m right in front of your faces being the best damn version of me.
Call me crazy, why not?
But I think it’s a damn shame
when you’re there for someone’s darkest hour but they won’t give you the time of day.
All I want is to be loved.
And I think I’m fairly done.
Because I don’t know how much longer I can be the strong one.
– Valerie Parente (5-28-2019)
Comparing Scars by Valerie Parente
I don’t feel great when other girls talk about their pain
because I feel like I have to one-up them just to validate my struggle
and I know it’s ridiculous that I actually feel jealous
of someone else’s suffering as if it’s a form of currency
like it’s a competition of whose scar is more impressing
I feel the need to defeat her by showing a cut that’s deeper
because if I’m the one who’s talked about then maybe I’ll no longer doubt myself.
I know it’s sick and warped how much I crave to be heard
I’m longing for attention more than I long for redemption
I don’t need some comfort, all I need is to come first
some kind of stage or grand display to say my hardship wasn’t in vain
it’s not just about being different, it’s about justifying the infliction
all that I’ve carved upon myself instead of asking for some help
and I know this truth is ugly but I need to speak with honesty
because if I can’t at least be real then there’s no point to how I feel.
– Valerie Parente (5-19-2019)
Write-Brained by Valerie Parente
People don’t read my work
And it kills me inside
I want to be loved
But even more
I want to be recognized
I’ve been lonely for so long
That’s why I started to write
But what is the point
When no one wants to read my mind.
– Valerie Parente (5-10-2019)
Published Books
Value by Valerie Parente
I know my value and I see it every day
I need to stop punishing myself
when it isn’t seen by someone else.
– Valerie Parente (5-5-2019)
There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep by Valerie Parente
My feelings aren’t as complicated as my mind is making them
with this dissonant narration.
I’ve been caught in a loop
about a story I wanted to be true.
You see my brain does this thing where it prioritizes my feelings
over logic and reason.
Making a stable personality
the most dominant part of me.
Meanwhile I have these thoughts, irrational obsessions that haunt.
For years they were caught
associating you with my name
but now my emotions have changed.
Now my ego is anxious, though it’s really quite simplistic.
No matter how much I resist it
I know I’m moving on
whether I like it or not.
The truth is, I think it’s scary that there might be more to me
than the emotions I keep.
If I get over how I felt
then how do I define myself?
But then I think of how happy I can be now that I’ve set myself free
from that same old story.
– Valerie Parente (1-31-2018)
your actions say a whole lot more than your words by Valerie Parente
I’m too old to play these mind games
and you’re too old for me to baby you
face your feelings and act like an adult
and if you need to, get help
figure out why you act the way you do
I already know
but it’s time for you to know too.
– Valerie Parente (4-11-2019)
Inquiries by Valerie Parente
What do you want when you are the only one in charge?
Who are you when nobody else tells you what to want?
How long will it take you to let go of your flaws?
Do you even think before you talk?
Where are you in your thoughts?
– Valerie Parente (11-27-2017)
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