The Universe Inside of You by Valerie Parente
Do not get freaked out
that everything you do
seems to have a common theme.
Be amazed that your subconscious
understands the grand scheme.
Because your mind is the universe’s method
of making itself seen.
– Valerie Parente (9-27-2020)
The Magic of Writing by Valerie Parente
Sometimes when I write poetry
I have one particular line
then I build around it over time
with specific syllables and rhymes
while forming a story-line.
Sometimes when I write prose
I have a thought in my mind
and as it starts to materialize
I come to gradually realize
an ongoing theme that transpires.
I think writing is pure magic
because I hear a phrase in my brain
then use a pen to translate
and tap into your mental space
with ease and literary grace.
– Valerie Parente (9-1-2020)
how did I get it so wrong? by Valerie Parente
You think I’m devastated from losing you
but I realize now, I never lost you,
I lost the person I thought you were.
I thought you were a best friend that valued my company,
I thought you were a best friend that I could spend hours talking to about anything and everything,
I thought you were a best friend that I could go on adventures with and learn what it means to be an adult with,
and the most devastating realization of all is that I thought you were a best friend who would never dare hurt me in the way that you did…
because you said you’d get back to me while I was struggling to breathe but as I was fighting for my breath you couldn’t have cared less and as the months came and went you replaced all the time we spent in a matter of seconds
and now I realize with tears in my eyes that to me you were the person I wanted to share my life but to you I was just a fill-in-the-blank until you found a better name.
I’m not saying you’re not allowed to grow up and have a life but, dear God, why did you have to make a game out of mine?
To anyone who’s cruel enough to call me a crazy bitch
because I have to write it all down since I still can’t speak about it out loud
then go ahead, do your worst, because I’m already hurt.
If it makes me a lunatic to be devastated by losing the past few years to someone who left me hanging in my own noose then go ahead and cut out my brain, examine its flaws, because I’ll be the first one to say that I’m a lost cause.
– Valerie Parente (8-6-2020)
Features “My Prayers”, “This Is What It Means to Grow Up”, and “Paw Prints” from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com
Poetic Plot by Valerie Parente
For the past few years
the only thing that got rid of my writer’s block
was when you’d go and pissed me off
so now that you’re dead and gone
I’m struggling to remember how to start.
How do I write a piece from my heart
without getting your image involved?
Because you were the one to break me apart
and I know that contradicts my thoughts
that I’m trying to write about moving on
but it’s way too damn hard
not to end this with a vicious remark
a quick fuck you for affecting my art
and a quick thank you for making me your pawn
because that sick game you called my fault
made a hell of a good poetic plot.
– Valerie Parente (7-6-2020)
“Soul Purpose” by Valerie Parente
Art is Magic by Valerie Parente
“Why do I create the greatest art
when I’m in the greatest pain?”
“Because the artist is a magician
taking something as ugly as heartache
and turning it into something beautiful.
That is the true power in you.”
– Valerie Parente (5-31-2020)
Praying To Be Heard by Valerie Parente
I don’t know what’s more devastating,
holding onto things that are never said
or saying things that are never read.
– Valerie Parente (5-7-2020)
Valerie’s Thesis by Valerie Parente
If there’s one goal in my social life it’s to enchant another person’s mind
The perfect interaction is a transaction where I teach you and you teach me
Just promise you’ll teach me without being preachy
because I thrive on being enlightened and I die when you condescend
so help me understand the world outside and I’ll translate the art sitting in your psyche.
Nothing bothers me more than when someone thinks I’m just a dumb girl
because inside my mind is a large web of things that make me obsessed
and I know that comes across like I can’t find my thoughts.
The truth is I just struggle with my words when I have to speak them into the world
but give me paper and a pen to write and I promise I’ll blow your mind.
I know it sounds pretentious but if I’m being perfectly honest
I’d rather you read what I write than see my picture and click “like”
Yes I still have an aesthetic but that’s just the visual poetry of my intellect
If I have to post my face to get your attention and enter the conversation
then I’ll gladly pose in place only to switch your direction to mental reflection.
I believe our minds are a never-ending storm given a body in this crazy world
that God gave us physical anatomy as our way of making sense of mentality
The pain that comes with having an ego serves to recognize the other in a collective soul
So you better be damn sure that if I find another mind that can discuss this even one time
then I’m going to hold onto that conversation like it’s my most valuable human connection.
– Valerie Parente (4-16-2020)
Broken Speech by Valerie Parente
I’m emotionally exhausted
and I can’t find the words to speak
I never looked for the words
the words looked for me
but ever since I snapped
I’ve had broken speech
because I’m so broken inside
that I can’t read my own needs
and it’s my own fault
for the hurt I’ve received.
Don’t get me wrong
I love the pain in poetry
but I think I’ve made you out
to be worse than you seemed
and I’m not sure why I did that
but if I rearrange each piece
of all the writing I put down
I’d say it came from an inner need
to feel appreciated and valued
and you were the victim of that greed
because when it comes down to what I care about
you’re towards the top of the hierarchy
and maybe that’s not appropriate
since I’ve been told not to preach
I just hate biting my tongue
especially about the things I see
and I lead my life like I write
with a message and a theme
but I couldn’t understand the meaning
of finally caring about another being
then being withheld from that connection
and told I’m crazy for my feelings
I guess if I had to come up with words
it comes down to my mentality
and the antidote to my selfishness
was feeling happy by someone else being happy
and that’s how I felt about you
that made me feel well-rounded and complete
so many years of mental illness
deadly eating disorders and OCD
they just stopped seeming important.
My relationship with another human being
mattered more than the fear I live with every day
I don’t know if that makes me crazy
but for once I no longer felt sick in the head
and the real world was actually lovely
I had a good time with somebody real
and that time was my favorite relief
from the inner script that is my mind
I think that’s why I took it personally
when you didn’t have the time to spend
and different types of priorities
and I’m sorry if that’s a little scary
I don’t mean to be as intense as I seem
Emotions tend to overpower my behavior
and the words I write get pretty heavy
and I don’t know if I’ll ever know how to express
that I’m so Goddamn sorry
because I took something you were insecure about
and I made it all about me
and I honestly can’t imagine
anything more manipulative and mean
maybe there’s no point to this poem
maybe there’s no lesson or theme
But it’s important for my mental health
to write out the words I didn’t speak
then next time I won’t let it build and lash out
on the the people who mean the most to me
So I guess this is my long-winded explanation
my reasoning, shame, and apology
it’s embarrassing that I let it fester this long
and turn into such broken speech.
– Valerie Parente (1-1-2020)
Valor by Valerie Parente
God, give me the strength to be honest with myself
and everyone else.
– Valerie Parente (12-31-2019)
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