The False Promise of the Damsel in Distress

The False Promise of the Damsel in Distress
by Valerie Parente

I don’t think enough girls were taught the difference
between being in love and being obsessed,
so many stories of womanhood
were really stories of sickness,
that to attract a man
you have to be a damsel in distress,
that happily ever after was the goal
and your journey before was meaningless.

They taught us that pity
means he endlessly cares
and that negative attention
means love is in the air.
They said there has to be an obstacle
you can only overcome with him there,
that your accomplishments are null
unless a prince witnessed the despair.

So here’s to the girls
who broke their own hearts
taking on the damsel archetype
before adulthood could even start.
We are not ruined beyond repair,
we’re just a little scarred;
may we raise our daughters
as we raise our bars.

– Valerie Parente (3-28-2025)

One thought on “The False Promise of the Damsel in Distress”

  1. purplehazel says:
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    diversewrites's avatar

    I loved your post on the false theory of the damsel in distress! It’s so refreshing to see a nuanced discussion around this topic. You’re absolutely right that the idea of women being helpless and in need of rescue is a damaging trope that perpetuates negative stereotypes and undermines women’s agency. It’s fascinating how this narrative has been perpetuated in media and popular culture, and it’s high time we challenge these outdated notions. Your insights on the importance of recognizing women’s strength and resilience are spot on. Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts on this topic

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