Path by Valerie Parente
I chose the path but you chose to lead the way
footprints in the dirt recording what I say
you were walking ahead with your back to me
I was out of breath trying hard to breathe
you were nervous because you thought I was going to catch up and catch on
but the truth is my mind is already three steps in front of it all.
– Valerie Parente (6-10-2019)
Confrontation by Valerie Parente
I was hoping for a confrontation
because confrontation is better than the static of listening to you lie to yourself again and again
and if you’re willing to sacrifice your emotional growth to be “right” then I have no problem spending time with people farther along in life.
– Valerie Parente (6-10-2019)
A Writer’s Threat by Valerie Parente
For years I have been my own muse.
If I make you my muse then you have done the near-impossible… you have overthrown my ego. Congratulations, you are divine in my eyes.
Just hope to God that you’ve become my muse for enchanting my life, not for inflicting senseless pain. Because if you try to write me off then I’m going to turn the writer on. If you ask me to stop then guess what? You just gave me a new prompt. I can orchestrate a symphony of sentences that will touch you to tears or I can arrange a thousand words into your personal hell. Both will pierce your heart ten times stronger than you pierced mine. And when you read what’s on my mind you better actually listen to the message and cherish the emotional chords it strikes, good or bad, because a storm of more rhymes and literary devices are about to head your way and tear apart every piece and particle that once constructed your comfort zone… and that’s going to continue happening with more and more force until I become your muse.
felt cute, might stab someone with my words later
– Valerie Parente (6-4-2019)
“String Me Along”
Tangled by Valerie Parente
All these tangled thoughts
have one common thread
twisted in a pattern
I’ve memorized in my head.
Stringing me along
with so much time spent
leaving me weak and worn
frayed and torn to shreds.
So much pretty yarn
it tells me where I’ve been
but it’s nobody’s concern
when I tie up the loose ends.
I wonder how long
until someone notices
I’ve been weaving my words
hoping that they’ll be read.
– Valerie Parente (5-31-2019)
A Poetic Manifesto by Valerie Parente
What it means to be an artist is that I take my life experiences and process them through a creative filter. My internal world manifests best through the art of written word. As a result, when I’m in pain I might write a “dark” piece. To those who find this work disturbing, this is my rebuttal.
I have every right to say anything I want to say
because this page is my stage and this is my brain
and the reason you felt uncomfortable when you read it
was because you have resonated with it.
If you become upset knowing that I am broken
then please understand that writing about my mental health
is how I begin to heal myself.
I will never stop emoting and hurting and healing and if any of this is problematic for someone then I pray you find the strength to learn how to be human one day.
– Valerie Parente (5-30-2019)
the truth is, I’m frustrated by Valerie Parente
I’ve been the strong one. I’ve proved I’m smart, have a heart, and can read the mind of the most troubled. I’ve traveled, I’ve stayed, I’ve gone out of my way, I’ve done everything under the sun to prove that I am good enough. I’ve felt high, I’ve felt brave, I’ve felt the electricity every cliché claims. I’ve given time, I’ve given space, and left you so amazed. I’ve been brutally honest, I’ve been reassuring, even when my mind was hurting. I’ve been a friend, I’ve been family, I’ve been a team-player even when you played me. I’ve been wise, I’ve been right, and I understand your mind when I write my lines. I’ve been forgiving, I’ve maintained a good mood even when I should have been rude. I’ve been sweet, I’ve been grateful, even when I should have hated you. I’ve been impressive, I’ve been respectful, I’ve shielded you from my pain even when it drove me mental. I’ve gone above and beyond and I did it for what?
At what point did I go wrong?
I see a boy care about me then I watch it dissolve.
What is it about me that nobody wants?
Because every time I care I become the saddest person of all.
The truth is, I’m frustrated, and I think I have every right to be. Because I’ve been the kindest person of all and the girl God needed from me. So why the hell am I alone? Why the hell am I unseen? I’m right in front of your faces being the best damn version of me.
Call me crazy, why not?
But I think it’s a damn shame
when you’re there for someone’s darkest hour but they won’t give you the time of day.
All I want is to be loved.
And I think I’m fairly done.
Because I don’t know how much longer I can be the strong one.
– Valerie Parente (5-28-2019)
Paradox Lock by Valerie Parente
I am tense where I am supposed to be open
So I pretend that this is a voluntary means of coping
Just a treasure I’ve been withholding.
But the truth is I have no control
of the impossible pain that takes its toll.
I am a lock who is supposed to love a key.
The very thing meant to set me free
is the same cause for my strong agony.
What they call the highest of highs
comes through me as the loneliest night.
I am exhausted when I am supposed to be energized.
They say this problem has psychological ties
manifesting as fear deep inside.
But if this is true then why can’t I recall
the very trauma that started this all?
For so long I was stuck with this mystery.
Where could I find this abnormality?
After they pointed out reality
I read into how this condition thrives
but I am still left wondering why.
– Valerie Parente (11-22-2017)
Comparing Scars by Valerie Parente
I don’t feel great when other girls talk about their pain
because I feel like I have to one-up them just to validate my struggle
and I know it’s ridiculous that I actually feel jealous
of someone else’s suffering as if it’s a form of currency
like it’s a competition of whose scar is more impressing
I feel the need to defeat her by showing a cut that’s deeper
because if I’m the one who’s talked about then maybe I’ll no longer doubt myself.
I know it’s sick and warped how much I crave to be heard
I’m longing for attention more than I long for redemption
I don’t need some comfort, all I need is to come first
some kind of stage or grand display to say my hardship wasn’t in vain
it’s not just about being different, it’s about justifying the infliction
all that I’ve carved upon myself instead of asking for some help
and I know this truth is ugly but I need to speak with honesty
because if I can’t at least be real then there’s no point to how I feel.
– Valerie Parente (5-19-2019)
Intervention by Valerie Parente
You don’t need to wreak havoc to feel important
You don’t need to argue to feel driven
You don’t need to run away to feel chased.
You are already so important in your friends’ minds
You are already so driven when you let yourself care
You are already so appreciated when you stick around.
And if you have a problem with me calling you out
if you have a problem with me seeing your value
then that’s an issue you have to confront with yourself
because I’m never going to stop rooting for you.
– Valerie Parente (5-14-2019)
Aesthetic Reality by Valerie Parente
You’re starting to realize that reality is subjective
and perception is the byproduct of perspective
Now you’re deciding not to be fooled by the deception
that self-respect is determined by rejection
as if your meaning is for someone else to measure.
But the truth is that you get to choose your mood
because your personhood is dictated by the personal
and aesthetic stems from what makes you authentic.
– Valerie Parente (5-12-2019)
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