Invincible by Valerie Parente
The glory of being open about mental health
is that nobody can weaponize it against you.
Anything you say, I’ve already said myself
and nothing is more invincible than living your truth.
– Valerie Parente (2-3-2021)
There Is A Reason by Valerie Parente
Contrary to popular belief
I did not choose this pain,
it chose me.
I did not choose to fixate,
my mind was already made.
I did not choose to restrict,
it was in my genetics.
I did not throw my life away on that fateful day in ninth grade,
it was meant to happen to teach me about compassion when you rise from the ashes.
I was predisposed to every mental hoax so that my soul could know true spiritual growth.
– Valerie Parente (2-1-2021)
Spellbound by Valerie Parente
Spellbound cycles, I go,
like magic, not neuro-typical.
As if I’ve been blessed by a witch
ever since I was a little kid.
She gave me a strange kind of gift
struck my heart, but must have missed.
I become enchanted, but it’s strange
because I feel it in my brain.
Spellbound, that’s what I call it.
That’s my crazy way of falling.
At first sight, there’s a spark
and that serves as the mark
that I will always reference
to justify my obsessiveness.
Second stage, there’s the longing
clinging on to every moment
reading too much as I read minds
gradually making a mess of mine.
Third stage, the gut punch
usually after years, not months.
I can’t eat or sleep, I just cry
and every time I nearly die.
Then it all starts over again
the random spark, and I’m obsessed.
I don’t know how others fall
feeling the magic of it all
entranced in such a good sense
when my trance feels hellbent.
It always starts out exciting,
to realize I can feel something
but it turns into a special kind of hell
where I can’t separate from the spell.
There’s never a justification
for that inexplicable fascination.
It just strikes, and I’m weak
blood rushing at its peak.
But it never works and I get worse.
A brand new spell with the same hurt.
– Valerie Parente (1-28-2021)
Amethyst Skull by Valerie Parente
An amethyst skull,
we are anything but dull,
something creepy to think about,
that’s why we ignore our mental health,
but when you finally look inside,
you’ll see you shine so divine,
look at what you’re made of,
you’re a miracle in this hell,
far more remarkable than you realize,
the universe and intention comprised.
Do not fear your bones,
they just decorate your soul.
– Valerie Parente (1-23-2021)
A New Day by Valerie Parente
When the bare minimum wasn’t addressed
we wound up with a grand mess
but now that hope has persevered
we can finally begin to heal.
– Valerie Parente (1-20-2021)
A Little Sympathy Would Be Nice by Valerie Parente
I think a lot about my past
but that doesn’t mean I want it back.
My brain was wrongly designed
to dwell on former times,
getting caught on the same loops
and I know that gets you confused.
I don’t want the same things,
but that’s what my conscience brings.
If you find that weird
then imagine how I feel.
OCD is like a chronic bad habit,
a royal jester playing old tricks
and when its trying to fool you
just know it tried to fool me too.
– Valerie Parente (1-18-2021)
Art Without Fame by Valerie Parente
Artistic displays without God-like fame gets you weird looks.
Promiscuous fashion without hollow passion gets you unsold books.
Poetic mindsets without a publisher’s subtext gets you ridiculed.
Free expression without others’ discretion gets you verbal abuse.
Because it’s okay to feel hurt
as long as you have a following
and it’s okay to create stories
as long as you’re not being honest
but the moment you draw from your real life
without the public’s hype
that’s when they call you the bad guy;
Because art without fame is just the diary of a lunatic.
Love without a mate gets you deemed the psycho chick.
And this is not a complaint, just a reminder that I’m aware of it.
So bid me your hate, I’m already immune to it.
I’ve learned to accept that when you merge intellect with fishnets
as a way to project an explicit mindset and mental health awareness
you’ll get teased by the rest but I’m okay with that test
because I’ve overcome too much stress against the odds of my illness
to still give a fraction of a shit.
– Valerie Parente (1-12-2021)
The Girl In The Mirror by Valerie Parente
I killed the girl in the mirror
when I was a 14 years old student
and every day I resent myself
even though I didn’t know what I was doing.
That girl in the mirror had it bad
and that wasn’t so peculiar.
Nobody that age knew how to act
but I still held it against her.
I make decisions now
with the mirror girl on my mind.
I’m trying to make her proud
because I owe her my adult life.
– Valerie Parente (1-4-2021)
Mechanical by Valerie Parente
Everything I am is mechanical
Actions and reactions
To and fro
The way I’m drawn
To the old
These circuits in my mind
Predisposed
To compensate for years
I missed the most.
– Valerie Parente (1-4-2021)
Happy Again
by Valerie Parente
I would like to be happy like we were before
back when it was easier
because it’s been the end of the world
for one long year that felt like more.
I think we all lost
the innocence we once wore
back when we didn’t have to hide out of sight
and I think we all forgot
what we used to fight for
back when we didn’t have to fight for our life.
I don’t know if we were happier before
but it sure was easier
back when we didn’t know better
and our bad times didn’t feel like forever.
When your life was narrowed down,
what did you sacrifice?
When you had to rethink your path,
what became your priority?
When you thought it was the end of the world,
who did you think of?
No we won’t be happy like we were before
but we’ll sure feel its worth
and when we smile again
despite all our stress
we’ll all feel a truer form of happiness.
– Valerie Parente (12-31-2020)
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