Valerie’s Thesis

April 16, 2020April 16, 2020Leave a comment

Valerie’s Thesis by Valerie Parente

If there’s one goal in my social life it’s to enchant another person’s mind
The perfect interaction is a transaction where I teach you and you teach me
Just promise you’ll teach me without being preachy
because I thrive on being enlightened and I die when you condescend
so help me understand the world outside and I’ll translate the art sitting in your psyche.

Nothing bothers me more than when someone thinks I’m just a dumb girl
because inside my mind is a large web of things that make me obsessed
and I know that comes across like I can’t find my thoughts.
The truth is I just struggle with my words when I have to speak them into the world
but give me paper and a pen to write and I promise I’ll blow your mind.

I know it sounds pretentious but if I’m being perfectly honest
I’d rather you read what I write than see my picture and click “like”
Yes I still have an aesthetic but that’s just the visual poetry of my intellect
If I have to post my face to get your attention and enter the conversation
then I’ll gladly pose in place only to switch your direction to mental reflection.

I believe our minds are a never-ending storm given a body in this crazy world
that God gave us physical anatomy as our way of making sense of mentality
The pain that comes with having an ego serves to recognize the other in a collective soul
So you better be damn sure that if I find another mind that can discuss this even one time
then I’m going to hold onto that conversation like it’s my most valuable human connection.

– Valerie Parente (4-16-2020)

A Germaphobe’s Hell

April 13, 2020June 24, 2021Leave a comment

A Germaphobe’s Hell by Valerie Parente

When someone else understands the anxiety I’ve been feeling for half my life
I don’t feel comfort, I feel competition.
I worked from the inside out to walk through this hell
and now you’re telling me to turn around and walk with everyone else.

No, I don’t want the world to change their mind and say that my mental strife was justified
don’t tell me that my fears were right all along.
Why would I want to see my disorder become mainstream
after you spent years telling me that my pain is unique?

I understand the necessity to chain us all down as a way to protect ourselves
but I can’t pretend it doesn’t feel like hell
to be told to back-track all your progress
because now it really is a matter of life or death.

– Valerie Parente (4-13-2020)

The Time Is Up

March 31, 2020Leave a comment

The Time Is Up by Valerie Parente

In 2 months you’ll be able to breathe again.
In 2 months you’ll remember the fallen.
In 2 months you’ll learn to live with yourself.
In 2 months you’ll realize what really counts.
In 2 months you’ll find a reason to laugh.
In 2 months you’ll rise above your past.
Because this is God’s way of saying the time is up,
time to come face to face with your fears
time to get to know the mind you’ve been avoiding for 25 years
time to feel the discomfort that matures you through loneliness
time to master your trauma like a true artist
time to look inward for gratification
time to make those long overdue changes
time to show your ego how far you’ve come
time to tell the people you love that they’re enough.
It’s time to see your deepest pain through;
It’s time to contribute to the world that chose to spare you.

– Valerie Parente (3-31-2020)

An Empath’s Tangent

March 12, 2020March 12, 2020Leave a comment

An Empath’s Tangent by Valerie Parente

Kyori

Sometimes I think I’m feeling my own feelings but I’m really just feeling your feelings because I’m so sensitive to your senses and I make sense of it like it’s my sensations so I start to care too much when you don’t care at all and I’m not sure how to take care of myself without trying to take care of someone else.

– Valerie Parente (3-12-2020)

Hyper-Sensitive Super Power

March 4, 2020March 4, 2020Leave a comment

Hyper-Sensitive Super Power by Valerie Parente

I am a super sensitive being
I attach myself to feelings
even though I know beyond reason
that the attachment causes a deep heaviness
as I force the emotions to linger in my chest
terrified by the way people simply forget
it’s a bad habit that makes me look insane
because I remember every single thing you say
yet I wouldn’t have it any other way
because I can see light in a world of shadows
the hyper-awareness weeds out the people who are shallow
and inflicts deeper meaning in the people I value
I know there is power in my sensitivity
that this is either going to be the thing that kills me
or the thing that saves me.

dark angel

– Valerie Parente (3-4-2020)

Black Hole

March 3, 2020March 3, 2020Leave a comment

Vrikshasana

Black Hole by Valerie Parente

Why is it that
my deepest pain
is not the pain of loss or betrayal or heartbreak
it’s the pain that has no reason for being there
no origin
as if I was simply born with this
and I can’t help but wonder
do other people feel this too?
An inexplicable pull into a black hole? Meant to consume.

– Valerie Parente (3-3-2020)

Innocently Me

March 1, 2020March 1, 2020Leave a comment

Just A Simple Swing

Innocently Me by Valerie Parente

I refuse to feel guilty for being innocently me.
I do nothing to compel, I just act like myself.
You’re not really scared of me,
you’re scared of how you feel when you’re around me
and how you feel when you’re around me is not my responsibility.

– Valerie Parente (3-1-2020)

Self-Sufficient Psyche

February 28, 2020February 28, 2020Leave a comment

Self-Sufficient Psyche by Valerie Parente

Mariposa

How dare you make me feel crazy when you know I could do that all on my own.

– Valerie Parente (2-28-2020)

Pick A Fight

February 27, 2020February 27, 2020Leave a comment

Pick A Fight by Valerie Parente

Sometimes I just want to pick a fight
because I don’t know how to deal with my pain inside
and transferring the blame onto someone else
makes it easier to deal with the battle happening within myself.

To Scratch Herself

– Valerie Parente (2-27-2020)

Rather Be Haunted

February 25, 2020February 25, 2020Leave a comment

Rather Be Haunted by Valerie Parente

Emotions haunt me like ghosts
manipulating the energy inside of me
drawing from what I want the most
because my intensity sets the ghosts free.

The more meaning in my interactions
the more meaning in my poetry
because these interpersonal relations
have me evolving spiritually.

I used to identify as the tortured artist
but now I identify as a human being
creating words so painfully honest
Hurt, feel, heal, then repeat.

The pain never starts out pretty
but the ghosts give me an artistic opportunity
in turn I give them the satisfaction of being seen
while I turn those emotions into a masterpiece.

It isn’t easy learning through ghosts
but if its between getting what I wanted
and the force of emotional growth
then I would rather be haunted.

Haunted