Value by Valerie Parente
I know my value and I see it every day
I need to stop punishing myself
when it isn’t seen by someone else.
– Valerie Parente (5-5-2019)
Category: Poetry
There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep
There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep by Valerie Parente
My feelings aren’t as complicated as my mind is making them
with this dissonant narration.
I’ve been caught in a loop
about a story I wanted to be true.
You see my brain does this thing where it prioritizes my feelings
over logic and reason.
Making a stable personality
the most dominant part of me.
Meanwhile I have these thoughts, irrational obsessions that haunt.
For years they were caught
associating you with my name
but now my emotions have changed.
Now my ego is anxious, though it’s really quite simplistic.
No matter how much I resist it
I know I’m moving on
whether I like it or not.
The truth is, I think it’s scary that there might be more to me
than the emotions I keep.
If I get over how I felt
then how do I define myself?
But then I think of how happy I can be now that I’ve set myself free
from that same old story.
– Valerie Parente (1-31-2018)
your actions say a whole lot more than your words
your actions say a whole lot more than your words by Valerie Parente
I’m too old to play these mind games
and you’re too old for me to baby you
face your feelings and act like an adult
and if you need to, get help
figure out why you act the way you do
I already know
but it’s time for you to know too.
– Valerie Parente (4-11-2019)
Inquiries
Inquiries by Valerie Parente
What do you want when you are the only one in charge?
Who are you when nobody else tells you what to want?
How long will it take you to let go of your flaws?
Do you even think before you talk?
Where are you in your thoughts?
– Valerie Parente (11-27-2017)
toxic relations
toxic relations by Valerie Parente
There’s something I need to say
about the way you behave
You’ve become a cliché
just a guy who plays games
a fool desperate to claim
that you aren’t so strange
thinking a girl can replace
all of your negative traits
as if you could erase
every ounce of self-hate
with the sound of a female’s name
but at the end of the day
your connection with her is strained
she doesn’t really relate
you use each other to manipulate
that dark and empty space
that rots in your depressed brains.
But you won’t admit your mistake
I know you’ll try to debate
say that you’re honestly okay
but say it with a straight face.
say you’re not a pathetic display
of all that time you had me waste.
There’s something I need to get off my chest
about the way you’ve digressed
You’ve become so obsessed
with destroying relationships
in the name of loneliness
imprinting the egocentric
on someone you barely met
and it’s so inappropriate
how you made her your outlet
meanwhile your friends
the ones who emotionally invest
can only shake their heads.
You know I tried my best
cause I’ve been in that mess
so Goddamn depressed
A mind with no self-respect.
And I just want to protect
one of my favorite humans
from a pattern so toxic
because if you weren’t worth it
I wouldn’t have written this.
– Valerie Parente (4-3-2019)
Dissonant Demons
Dissonant Demons by Valerie Parente
My eyes want to cry
but I’m not sad in my mind.
My body wants to be burned
but my heart is already warm.
I’m trying to think of ways
to hurt myself without causing pain.
These demons, they try to stay relevant,
but my glorious God is not hellbent.
– Valerie Parente (3-4-2019)
The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand
The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand by Valerie Parente
The entire universe and its blessings are in the palm of my hand. I can feel the energy that makes up you and me and everything in between and I am in awe that I did not notice until now how interconnected we all are with the energy we spawned from. I still have longings but I feel so whole and complete like my longings long back for me. I feel that my blessings walk beside me even when they can’t be seen. I am not discouraged when things do not go my way, I am empowered. Every struggle is proof that I am worthy of more than I hoped to settle for and I am in awe and in love with the story the universe writes about me.
– Valerie Parente (9-27-2018)
One Dimension
One Dimension by Valerie Parente
Somebody died today.
It felt like it was me
But it looked like it was you.
When I told you how I felt every word just bounced off you.
What meant years to me meant nothing to you
And how sad it is to be forgotten too.
They say smile because it happened
But how can I smile when you have no memory of me.
You’re a one dimension mind who can’t look back at our time
And I had you right in front of me
But there was a disconnect in your eyes.
The boy I knew had died
Without ever saying goodbye
And in one second the weight of three and a half years came down
And buried me ten feet in the ground.
You lost me and you lost what gave you meaning
But somehow I’m the one who’s grieving.
I hope you find your peace
And for the first time I realize you won’t find it in me.
– Valerie Parente (9-4-2018)
Looking At The World Upside Down
Looking At The World Upside Down by Valerie Parente
At first I thought my reality had flipped
accredited to an objective view
but this melancholy feels too personal
It must be the sickness in my mood.
I have been feeling so low these days
Barely hanging onto my sanity
I know I am moving backwards
But I cannot feel the ground beneath me.
I have difficulty finding my direction
Hesitant to trust my inner compass
And truthfully, I see no point in trying
Since the day my heart aimed and missed.
The world is no different than before
It is my perspective that has changed
I made a choice to distort my vision
When my priorities rearranged.
Looking at the world upside down
I can only see in morbid shades of red
But I guess that is supposed to happen
When the blood rushes to your head.
– Valerie Parente (4-23-2018)
Potential In Action
Potential In Action by Valerie Parente
To identify this catalyst felt right
I know that something special will happen
There is this lingering hope so well-timed
Like a tangible potential in action.
Magic hones the human existence
This sense diagnosed as divine intuition
We all can access its many promises
If we make the decision to listen.
Do not let your chance sweep by
When you are met by the extrasensory
That realm of “what could be” for mankind
stems from your instinct to detect destiny.
– Valerie Parente (3-19-2018)
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