Nervous Habit by Valerie Parente
When I’m nervous
I draw trees.
Picture them naked
in the breeze.
– Valerie Parente (5-18-2023)
Nervous Habit
Tag: anxiety
Not So Sweet
Not So Sweet by Valerie Parente
Everybody has a bit of a sweet tooth
looking for that candy-coated praise
you wanna call me your honey
but baby I’m an acquired taste.
Maybe I’m not so prone
to that “sweetie pie” catch phrase
I swear I care, I really do
but I’ll be damned if I’m cliche.
Love is hard but loving me is harder
past the honeymoon phase
I’m trying my damn best
but boy oh boy am I to blame.
– Valerie Parente (11-29-2022)
Caution Tape
Caution Tape by Valerie Parente
There’s caution tape
inside my mind
a labyrinth
of words and lines
wrapped around
like ivy or twine
and I don’t know
if I’m the type
to make the most
of warning signs
or if I’m simply
one of a kind
in a maze of trickery
I accidentally cosigned.
Maybe it’s wrong
maybe it’s right
maybe caution tape
is just a means to highlight
the potential in the darkness
that I can’t see inside
so I stand here guessing
what fate might decide.
– Valerie Parente (10-8-2022)
the illness that wants me all to itself
the illness that wants me all to itself by Valerie Parente
There are voices in my head
that do not belong to me
and when you ask how I feel
I can feel them speak.
There is a pattern in the language
so ripe with irony,
“To be sick is strong,
to be healthy is weak.
The pain finds a cure
when you cut skin deep.
To be sober is trapped,
to be drunk is free.
When you avoid your fears
their power depletes.”
It’s as if by design,
this backwards philosophy,
and I have to share a home
with the voices on repeat.
But I am no lost cause,
I can still find my speech
and maybe that’s why
I can write it so easily.
This illness wants me all to itself
but it will never have entirety
because as long as I have a pen
I can differentiate between
a voice in my head
and the words that compete.
– Valerie Parente (8-20-2022)
That’s The Moon
That’s The Moon by Valerie Parente
Look up high
at the night sky.
See that? That’s the moon
it’s not an excuse
it’s an explanation
to something complicated
something I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand
but when I break it down as a symbol I stand a chance
to make sense of the voice inside
this methodically mad mind.
Do you see that? That’s the moon
and it belongs to you too.
– Valerie Parente (6-16-2021)
The Harpy At Curtain Call (A Fantasy Chronicle)
The Harpy At Curtain Call (A Fantasy Chronicle) by Valerie Parente
She’s got violet wings
claws for scratching
getting under your skin
with her keen language
a harpy at curtail call
a village so appalled
jet black eyes in a stupor
no irises, all pupils
absorbing all of the light
scanning the horizon for flight
so formidable to the townsfolk
like the creeper when exposed
and right before she takes off
she prays to the dawn
because she has so much fear
when the night inches near
because it’s easier to see the horizon
when the light is there for guiding
and she has so much faith
at the beginning of the day.
– Valerie Parente (6-13-2021)
The Owl Mind
The Owl Mind by Valerie Parente
Nocturnal under the moonlight,
with visions of horror,
so many fears when it becomes night,
like a bad dream in color.
Intrusive images play in rotations,
amplified by the dark,
wide-eyed in your fixations,
as you perform your thoughts.
Something about the evening,
the howls elongate and stretch,
so foreboding like a demon,
so much worse when the sun sets.
Vigilant on treetops like a tower,
is it paranoia or being wise?
Everything is scarier after hours,
and yes, that includes my mind.
The owl mind is exhausting,
the owl mind you can’t trust,
but there is no other option,
dark will always follow dusk.
– Valerie Parente (3-31-2021)
Flash Fiction Reading & Analysis (The Creeper ~ Sage of Tarkus) (VIDEO)
Features “The Creeper” and “Sage of Tarkus”
from The Artist, The Muse on Amazon.com
Being Abnormal
Being Abnormal by Valerie Parente
It’s just lonely…
when you’re not allowed to express pain
because you’re the mentally ill girl who can’t be taken seriously,
when you’re not allowed to drive the freeway
because no one has faith in the skills you’ve achieved,
when you’re not allowed to paint your face
because you never give in to a normal level of intimacy,
when you’re not allowed to respond to hate
because defending your mental state is a luxury,
when you’re not allowed to remember heartbreak
because normal people don’t take this long to grieve,
when you’re not allowed to cut to the chase
because only crazy people act with so much honesty.
It just gets kind of lonely inside my brain
when even your loved ones can’t understand how you operate,
because I know that my honest-to-God pain only frustrates,
adding a whole new layer to what should be normal heartbreak.
I guess what I’m trying to say
is that ordinary things like a broken heart or a common sickness
are a lot harder to cope with when you have a mental illness
because people always have a million rational reasons for why you’re incorrect
but your hyper-sensitive mind has never been dictated by such logic.
– Valerie Parente (10-9-2020)
Sick Cycle
Sick Cycle by Valerie Parente
The fear of intimacy comes from the fear of touch
and the fear of touch comes from the fear of germs
and the fear of germs comes from the fear of intimacy
and I’m stuck in a sick cycle of social chastity.
– Valerie Parente (9-20-2020)
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