Never Gone

Never Gone by Valerie Parente

I remember
when you were in front of my eyes
now you are
the reason behind
everything that I do
the brightest light
in my life
guiding me
through the darkest times.

– Valerie Parente (8-24-2021)

Hummingbird (A Loved One Says Hi)

Hummingbird (A Loved One Says Hi) by Valerie Parente

We spoke of her
while tears overflowed
remembering our love
when it had a place to go.

That was when
our pain became borrowed
nature came by
and acknowledged the sorrow.

A sweet hummingbird
tapped on the window twice
that little girl came back
to show us she’s alright.

And even if
that body wasn’t hers
it still sparked
a sweet reminder.

We won’t know the truth
but we do know this
that another being’s life
made us think of her image.

What remains true
is the shape of nature
a circle of incarnations
being made by a maker.

Not in this life
can I ever be sure
that the hummingbird
was really her.

But what I am sure of
is a feeling so profound
that this little bird’s life
is tied to where she is now.

– Valerie Parente (7-24-2021)

The Guardian Angel Complex

The Guardian Angel Complex by Valerie Parente

When you lose a friendship, it creates a hole,
you notice all the places you used to go,
and a crater in the shape of another soul.
But when you lose the life of a friend,
there is a Guardian Angel Complex,
and you still feel their spirit in your chest.

This is precisely why my worst grief is not from death
but from the loss of a relationship.
I know that in death there is peace,
in death, you are still with me.
But when a relationship meets its demise
it fades with all the good times.

Wipe your tears, there is no need to cry,
at the completion of someone’s life.
In the physical world someone can fade away
but in death they materialize into an emotional state.
Do not make grief the enemy,
grief is the universe’s way of hinting at peace.
When there is loss of life and you feel disbelief
that dissonant feeling is all the proof you need
that the souls that leave with love, live on infinitely.

– Valerie Parente (2-9-2021)

Sitting on Skulls and Bones

Sitting on Skulls and Bones by Valerie Parente

A pile of skulls and bones,
she sits on them like they’re her throne,
resenting the death that rots beneath,
while presenting the depths of her beliefs.
So much destruction from perfectionism and ultimatums,
so in love with what she had, but love’s what made it complicated,
she was suspended in a bittersweet purgatory,
still existing, but never free,
not quite in heaven, not quite in hell,
and you’d be surprised how bad that felt,
so she did what she does best,
she poured her heart out then she left,
convinced there’d be a savior,
but no one came to save her,
now she mourns all the love she once had,
while the things she loved don’t mourn her back,
it’s a truth she has yet to accept,
so she built this throne out of death,
coping by spinning gold,
out of moping that has grown old,
so regal in all of her grief,
turning life lessons into a trophy,
because there’s so much value in every loss,
you don’t fully see it until it’s gone,
now she sits here in grateful defeat,
honoring the things she willingly reaped,
dead and gone but not dead inside,
because this gratitude is still raw and ripe.

– Valerie Parente (10-9-2020)

Missing You

Missing You by Valerie Parente

On anniversaries like today it feels like you’re missing
but it’s not a matter of missing you;
I just miss when the means to recognize you were easier.
You still exist within me,
just in a different shape and form
in a realm that isn’t easily perceived on earth.

– Valerie Parente (8-23-2020)

Black Hole: A State of Mind

Black Hole: A State of Mind by Valerie Parente

This meltdown is not circumstantial
this meltdown is a state of mind
and I believe this one was looming for months now
when everyday life got flipped upside down
and I didn’t have a chance to grieve the everyday life we had to collectively leave.

I’ve been trying to cope by distracting myself with the people who matter most
which is ten times harder when you have to distance yourself to maintain physical health
and I think after two months one little straw broke the camel’s back and I only knew how to overreact.
The circumstances never changed but a heavy darkness infected my mental state.

It doesn’t make sense for me to be as upset as I am about my personal circumstance
because it’s really not the end of the world
but this state of mind made it feel like I was going to die if I didn’t testify
and this heavy mass of pressure in my soul was simply waiting to cave in
like a black hole.

This state of mind will pass with time
but I’m so scared while I try to make it there
because every second in this black hole
feels like an eternity I can’t control
and I just want things to go back to normal.

– Valerie Parente (5-23-2020)