Missing You

Missing You by Valerie Parente

On anniversaries like today it feels like you’re missing
but it’s not a matter of missing you;
I just miss when the means to recognize you were easier.
You still exist within me,
just in a different shape and form
in a realm that isn’t easily perceived on earth.

– Valerie Parente (8-23-2020)

Black Hole: A State of Mind

Black Hole: A State of Mind by Valerie Parente

This meltdown is not circumstantial
this meltdown is a state of mind
and I believe this one was looming for months now
when everyday life got flipped upside down
and I didn’t have a chance to grieve the everyday life we had to collectively leave.

I’ve been trying to cope by distracting myself with the people who matter most
which is ten times harder when you have to distance yourself to maintain physical health
and I think after two months one little straw broke the camel’s back and I only knew how to overreact.
The circumstances never changed but a heavy darkness infected my mental state.

It doesn’t make sense for me to be as upset as I am about my personal circumstance
because it’s really not the end of the world
but this state of mind made it feel like I was going to die if I didn’t testify
and this heavy mass of pressure in my soul was simply waiting to cave in
like a black hole.

This state of mind will pass with time
but I’m so scared while I try to make it there
because every second in this black hole
feels like an eternity I can’t control
and I just want things to go back to normal.

– Valerie Parente (5-23-2020)

Surreal

Surreal by Valerie Parente

It’s so hard to believe that from now on when we talk about your presence
it’s going to be in past tense.
What we feel is what is real to us
and we still feel that you are here with us.

Tragic

– Valerie Parente (2-10-2020)

Love Again

Love Again by Valerie Parente

Love is not finite. It does not have an end cap. You do not need to think twice about how you distribute it. Just because I love someone new does not take away from the love I have for another being.
When you love again, the love does not get divided; it multiplies.
And that is why you don’t need to feel guilty for loving again. You can love again. You are meant to love again. That is your infinite gift.

– Valerie Parente (1-17-2020)

Emotionally Exhausted

Emotionally Exhausted by Valerie Parente

I’m emotionally exhausted
and I don’t know how to express it
I can only feel so much before I drown in it
and I can only hurt so much before I have to kill it
and I don’t want to walk away
but I don’t know what else to say
because I think I’ve exhausted all of my resources
talk, write, pray…
And all that’s left is just to rest
because I can’t deal with any more of this stress.

Only Human

– Valerie Parente (11-8-2019)

I Need You

IMG_20180425_125421_274I Need You by Valerie Parente

I’m so tempted to say
that I wish I could see you one more day
but I know that wouldn’t change
that you still have to go away
where peace is your only state
so I’ll just have to wait
until you greet me in that place.

 

 

– Valerie Parente (11-1-2019)

Broken

"Blue Rose" by Valerie Parente

Broken by Valerie Parente

You’re free from this world of suffering
and that’s a good thing
so why does it make me so sad?

Maybe to pray someone is at peace
means that I will never be.

 

 

 

– Valerie Parente (10-14-2019)

Good Grief

"Still Fresh" by Valerie Parente

Good Grief by Valerie Parente

It’s strange how sympathy only lasts so long before people move on
And I’m not saying we should live our lives based on what we have lost
But good grief, my pain still feels so fresh
Meanwhile everyone else seems to forget.
Maybe one day my heart will no longer be broken in half
But the scar that heals over is a mark that will always last
And people say I’m too sensitive
People say someday I’ll mend again
But I can’t believe any other person truly understands the pain I’m in
Yes I understand that the shock wears off in time
But it’s hard to let go with a mind like mine
And if healing means leaving her image behind
Then I guess all I want is to be scarred for life.

– Valerie Parente (9-23-2019)