Features “Potential In Action”, “Good Grief”,
and “Playing With Storms (Diagnose Me)”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com
Tag: heartache
how did I get it so wrong?
how did I get it so wrong? by Valerie Parente
You think I’m devastated from losing you
but I realize now, I never lost you,
I lost the person I thought you were.
I thought you were a best friend that valued my company,
I thought you were a best friend that I could spend hours talking to about anything and everything,
I thought you were a best friend that I could go on adventures with and learn what it means to be an adult with,
and the most devastating realization of all is that I thought you were a best friend who would never dare hurt me in the way that you did…
because you said you’d get back to me while I was struggling to breathe but as I was fighting for my breath you couldn’t have cared less and as the months came and went you replaced all the time we spent in a matter of seconds
and now I realize with tears in my eyes that to me you were the person I wanted to share my life but to you I was just a fill-in-the-blank until you found a better name.
I’m not saying you’re not allowed to grow up and have a life but, dear God, why did you have to make a game out of mine?
To anyone who’s cruel enough to call me a crazy bitch
because I have to write it all down since I still can’t speak about it out loud
then go ahead, do your worst, because I’m already hurt.
If it makes me a lunatic to be devastated by losing the past few years to someone who left me hanging in my own noose then go ahead and cut out my brain, examine its flaws, because I’ll be the first one to say that I’m a lost cause.
– Valerie Parente (8-6-2020)
Poetry Reading & Analysis (Broken ~ Mirror Image ~ The Way You Treat Me) (VIDEO)
Features “Broken”, “Mirror Image”, and “The Way You Treat Me”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com
Poetry Reading & Analysis (Self-Inflicted ~ One Dimension ~ Value) (VIDEO)
Features “Self-Inflicted”, “One Dimension”, and “Value”
from Rather Be Haunted on Amazon.com
Rather Be Haunted (VIDEO)
Theme of Rather Be Haunted & Explanation behind Title
– Valerie Parente (7-13-2020)
Bookmarks
Bookmarks by Valerie Parente
I keep on seeing these bookmarks
telling me where I left off
but I can’t go back to that plot
without hurting my heart;
maybe it’s time for a fresh start.
You see, I was reading for so long
learning how I could belong
and maybe that’s where I went wrong
because it shouldn’t be so hard
to appreciate another person’s art.
Now I look at my bookcase
a mix of textbooks on display
many unfinished but still I wait
because I’m afraid to turn the page;
for this chapter in my life to go away.
I think the problem with my head
is that I identify with all I’ve read
memorizing lines by accident
and prolonging the feelings I said
because I never wanted the story to end.
– Valerie Parente (6-15-2020)
Noble
Noble by Valerie Parente
If you think you’re doing me some kind of noble favor by cutting me out of your life with no explanation why then you’re wrong…
… the noble thing to do would be to look me in the fucking eyes and tell me “goodbye.”
– Valerie Parente (12-6-2019)
the truth is, I’m frustrated
the truth is, I’m frustrated by Valerie Parente
I’ve been the strong one. I’ve proved I’m smart, have a heart, and can read the mind of the most troubled. I’ve traveled, I’ve stayed, I’ve gone out of my way, I’ve done everything under the sun to prove that I am good enough. I’ve felt high, I’ve felt brave, I’ve felt the electricity every cliché claims. I’ve given time, I’ve given space, and left you so amazed. I’ve been brutally honest, I’ve been reassuring, even when my mind was hurting. I’ve been a friend, I’ve been family, I’ve been a team-player even when you played me. I’ve been wise, I’ve been right, and I understand your mind when I write my lines. I’ve been forgiving, I’ve maintained a good mood even when I should have been rude. I’ve been sweet, I’ve been grateful, even when I should have hated you. I’ve been impressive, I’ve been respectful, I’ve shielded you from my pain even when it drove me mental. I’ve gone above and beyond and I did it for what?
At what point did I go wrong?
I see a boy care about me then I watch it dissolve.
What is it about me that nobody wants?
Because every time I care I become the saddest person of all.
The truth is, I’m frustrated, and I think I have every right to be. Because I’ve been the kindest person of all and the girl God needed from me. So why the hell am I alone? Why the hell am I unseen? I’m right in front of your faces being the best damn version of me.
Call me crazy, why not?
But I think it’s a damn shame
when you’re there for someone’s darkest hour but they won’t give you the time of day.
All I want is to be loved.
And I think I’m fairly done.
Because I don’t know how much longer I can be the strong one.
– Valerie Parente (5-28-2019)
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