Twice That Age

Twice That Age by Valerie Parente

I’m starting to feel remorse
that I’ve never felt before
for the people that I’ve hurt
in trying to protect me first.

I know obeying my fragile mind
doesn’t make me the bad guy
but it’s hard not to cry
when a decade later you see the signs.

There were a lot of people trying to help
and life-altering feelings were felt.
I let misunderstandings hurt my health
and manifested my own kind of hell.

I don’t regret it to this day
but I reject the games that I played
because I decided to wait and wait
and choosing nothing is a choice to waste.

I only ever wanted one thing
and if I just quit the shit I could have had it.
Maybe now that I’m twice that age
I can get back what I pushed away
because what I truly want is still the same
and I think destiny is on the same page.

– Valerie Parente (10-27-2020)

Rather Be Haunted (A Poetry & Prose Collection) OUT NOW

Purchase Here on Amazon!

Love. Heartache. Death.
Rather Be Haunted documents a dark period for the poet. Emotions linger like ghosts. Interpersonal relations cause palpable frustration. Death breaks the heart but in the most beautiful way.

Through chronological poetry and prose you can feel all that haunts the obsessive compulsive writer’s psyche as she tries to understand her hyper-sensitivities through rhymes and clever lines. As frustration builds, so does resilience, making the struggles that define our humanity all the more remarkable. After all, isn’t the struggle to make sense of emotions the grandest mark of being alive? What makes us human hurts; that is the gift of the universe.

Rather Be Haunted is the second volume of poetry & prose by Valerie Parente, featuring Mannequin Art alongside writing pieces. You can now own the collection in Paperback or Kindle!

Why?

Why? by Valerie Parente

I’m really not trying to live in the past tense
but why after all the ways you made my mind bend
do I still want to protect you from the consequence
of how you destroyed me with your actions?

I’m really not trying to cause any hurt
you might even ask “why would she print these words?”
and it’s because I’ll never be able to move forward
until I put these feelings on the record.

“Destroyed from the Inside Out” by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (6-9-2020)

Note to Self

Note to Self by Valerie Parente

Don’t say you’re doing something for someone else when you’re really just trying to keep the story straight that your ego has been writing.
Don’t tell someone they’re broken and act like it’s to help them when it’s really just rooted in your need to feel valued.
Don’t send the opposite message of what you really mean when what you really want is for someone to fight for you.
Don’t lie to yourself or the ones you love any more.
Be brutally honest with yourself until it hurts, then begin to heal.
Because you can’t heal until you feel that hurt.
And you hurt the ones you love when you don’t heal yourself.

– Valerie Parente (12-13-2019)

Self-Inflicted

Self-Inflicted by Valerie Parente

For once I just wish I could hurt someone else’s feelings without feeling any remorse;
because I apologize in vain and I internalize the pain
and I don’t want to feel any more
for the people who don’t feel my hurt.

Seppuku

– Valerie Parente (11-17-2019)

Abandon Me

Abandon Me by Valerie Parente

"Childhood" by Valerie Parente

I felt completely abandoned by someone that I made accommodation after accommodation for to make sure they were never uncomfortable or sad.
And that hurts.
Because when I was in my darkest hour you didn’t have the decency to say a word.
When I lost the light of my life you decided it would be a good use of your time to leave me too.
To be honest, I don’t want your apology any more. I just want you to leave me alone. Let me be. And please, go on and abandon me.

– Valerie Parente (9-1-2019)

Games

"Roll the Dice" by Valerie Parente

Games by Valerie Parente

I’m not over you,
I’m over the games.

I’m over rolling the dice to see if today you’ll be nice, wondering if I’ll have to fight to bring out your good side.
I’m over the way you play me for a fool while I just play aloof, pretending I don’t see the truth but I know your every move.
I’m over showing all my cards like I’ve got the king of hearts but then you try to be smart and leave me at a loss.
I’m over not knowing what comes next because you’re shuffling the deck trying to create randomness before it’s my turn to guess.
I’m over calling all your bluffs and trying to earn your trust because you’re too scared to grow up and admit there could be an “us”.

Then you yell and you scream because you want to beat me but what you failed to see is we’ve been on the same team.

– Valerie Parente (7-10-2019)

now I’m getting pissed

now I’m getting pissed by Valerie Parente

I don’t know how many times I can be messed with
before I draw a line, but now I’m getting pissed
if you think this is about you then it probably is
and if you really think it through like I already did
then you’d realize I could prove in a poetic list
that I’ve overcome too much in life to be treated like shit.

– Valerie Parente (7-4-2019)

A Writer’s Threat

A Writer’s Threat by Valerie Parente

For years I have been my own muse.

If I make you my muse then you have done the near-impossible… you have overthrown my ego. Congratulations, you are divine in my eyes.

Just hope to God that you’ve become my muse for enchanting my life, not for inflicting senseless pain. Because if you try to write me off then I’m going to turn the writer on. If you ask me to stop then guess what? You just gave me a new prompt. I can orchestrate a symphony of sentences that will touch you to tears or I can arrange a thousand words into your personal hell. Both will pierce your heart ten times stronger than you pierced mine. And when you read what’s on my mind you better actually listen to the message and cherish the emotional chords it strikes, good or bad, because a storm of more rhymes and literary devices are about to head your way and tear apart every piece and particle that once constructed your comfort zone… and that’s going to continue happening with more and more force until I become your muse.

"felt cute, might stab someone with my words later" by Valerie Parente

felt cute, might stab someone with my words later

– Valerie Parente (6-4-2019)