Tag: love

Games

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"Roll the Dice" by Valerie Parente

Games by Valerie Parente

I’m not over you,
I’m over the games.

I’m over rolling the dice to see if today you’ll be nice, wondering if I’ll have to fight to bring out your good side.
I’m over the way you play me for a fool while I just play aloof, pretending I don’t see the truth but I know your every move.
I’m over showing all my cards like I’ve got the king of hearts but then you try to be smart and leave me at a loss.
I’m over not knowing what comes next because you’re shuffling the deck trying to create randomness before it’s my turn to guess.
I’m over calling all your bluffs and trying to earn your trust because you’re too scared to grow up and admit there could be an “us”.

Then you yell and you scream because you want to beat me but what you failed to see is we’ve been on the same team.

– Valerie Parente (7-10-2019)

Humanity

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Humanity by Valerie Parente

To live is to feel
To feel is to emote
To emote is to communicate
To communicate is to connect
To connect is to love
And to love is to live.
Don’t waste your life
fighting your feelings.

– Valerie Parente (7-6-2019)

Rollercoaster

Rollercoaster by Valerie Parente

I’m starting to hope that this ride ends soon
because I’m so sick of trying to make sense of you

I’ll admit I liked the high, but I sure do miss the ground
at first it was a thrill, but I think I might throw up now

Yes you showed me a good time but I want so many more
I think that’s why I held on so tight to this rollercoaster

It’s getting pretty late and we probably should go home
I wish you’d come along but I won’t be surprised if you don’t.

Tycoon

– Valerie Parente (6-29-2019)

Lexi

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Lexi by Valerie Parente

I was not heart broken when she died
I was heart broken when she was dying
Once she died I felt a feeling of relief
and I think that’s God’s way of telling me
she’s where she’s meant to be.

Lexi

– Valerie Parente (6-27-2019)

A Writer’s Threat

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A Writer’s Threat by Valerie Parente

For years I have been my own muse.

If I make you my muse then you have done the near-impossible… you have overthrown my ego. Congratulations, you are divine in my eyes.

Just hope to God that you’ve become my muse for enchanting my life, not for inflicting senseless pain. Because if you try to write me off then I’m going to turn the writer on. If you ask me to stop then guess what? You just gave me a new prompt. I can orchestrate a symphony of sentences that will touch you to tears or I can arrange a thousand words into your personal hell. Both will pierce your heart ten times stronger than you pierced mine. And when you read what’s on my mind you better actually listen to the message and cherish the emotional chords it strikes, good or bad, because a storm of more rhymes and literary devices are about to head your way and tear apart every piece and particle that once constructed your comfort zone… and that’s going to continue happening with more and more force until I become your muse.

"felt cute, might stab someone with my words later" by Valerie Parente

felt cute, might stab someone with my words later

– Valerie Parente (6-4-2019)

A Poetic Manifesto

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A Poetic Manifesto by Valerie Parente

What it means to be an artist is that I take my life experiences and process them through a creative filter. My internal world manifests best through the art of written word. As a result, when I’m in pain I might write a “dark” piece. To those who find this work disturbing, this is my rebuttal.

"Scar Tissue"

I have every right to say anything I want to say
because this page is my stage and this is my brain
and the reason you felt uncomfortable when you read it
was because you have resonated with it.
If you become upset knowing that I am broken
then please understand that writing about my mental health
is how I begin to heal myself.

I will never stop emoting and hurting and healing and if any of this is problematic for someone then I pray you find the strength to learn how to be human one day.

– Valerie Parente (5-30-2019)

the truth is, I’m frustrated

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the truth is, I’m frustrated by Valerie Parente

"the truth is, I'm frustrated" by Valerie Parente

I’ve been the strong one. I’ve proved I’m smart, have a heart, and can read the mind of the most troubled. I’ve traveled, I’ve stayed, I’ve gone out of my way, I’ve done everything under the sun to prove that I am good enough. I’ve felt high, I’ve felt brave, I’ve felt the electricity every cliché claims. I’ve given time, I’ve given space, and left you so amazed. I’ve been brutally honest, I’ve been reassuring, even when my mind was hurting. I’ve been a friend, I’ve been family, I’ve been a team-player even when you played me. I’ve been wise, I’ve been right, and I understand your mind when I write my lines. I’ve been forgiving, I’ve maintained a good mood even when I should have been rude. I’ve been sweet, I’ve been grateful, even when I should have hated you. I’ve been impressive, I’ve been respectful, I’ve shielded you from my pain even when it drove me mental. I’ve gone above and beyond and I did it for what?

At what point did I go wrong?
I see a boy care about me then I watch it dissolve.

What is it about me that nobody wants?
Because every time I care I become the saddest person of all.

The truth is, I’m frustrated, and I think I have every right to be. Because I’ve been the kindest person of all and the girl God needed from me. So why the hell am I alone? Why the hell am I unseen? I’m right in front of your faces being the best damn version of me.
Call me crazy, why not?
But I think it’s a damn shame
when you’re there for someone’s darkest hour but they won’t give you the time of day.

All I want is to be loved.
And I think I’m fairly done.
Because I don’t know how much longer I can be the strong one.

– Valerie Parente (5-28-2019)

Paradox Lock

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Paradox Lock by Valerie Parente

I am tense where I am supposed to be open
So I pretend that this is a voluntary means of coping
Just a treasure I’ve been withholding.
But the truth is I have no control
of the impossible pain that takes its toll.

I am a lock who is supposed to love a key.
The very thing meant to set me free
is the same cause for my strong agony.
What they call the highest of highs
comes through me as the loneliest night.

I am exhausted when I am supposed to be energized.
They say this problem has psychological ties
manifesting as fear deep inside.
But if this is true then why can’t I recall
the very trauma that started this all?

For so long I was stuck with this mystery.
Where could I find this abnormality?
After they pointed out reality
I read into how this condition thrives
but I am still left wondering why.

Lock

– Valerie Parente (11-22-2017)

Intervention

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Intervention by Valerie Parente

You don’t need to wreak havoc to feel important
You don’t need to argue to feel driven
You don’t need to run away to feel chased.

You are already so important in your friends’ minds
You are already so driven when you let yourself care
You are already so appreciated when you stick around.

And if you have a problem with me calling you out
if you have a problem with me seeing your value
then that’s an issue you have to confront with yourself
because I’m never going to stop rooting for you.

– Valerie Parente (5-14-2019)

There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep

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There Might Be More To Me Than The Emotions I Keep by Valerie Parente

My feelings aren’t as complicated as my mind is making them
with this dissonant narration.
I’ve been caught in a loop
about a story I wanted to be true.

You see my brain does this thing where it prioritizes my feelings
over logic and reason.
Making a stable personality
the most dominant part of me.

Meanwhile I have these thoughts, irrational obsessions that haunt.
For years they were caught
associating you with my name
but now my emotions have changed.

Now my ego is anxious, though it’s really quite simplistic.
No matter how much I resist it
I know I’m moving on
whether I like it or not.

The truth is, I think it’s scary that there might be more to me
than the emotions I keep.
If I get over how I felt
then how do I define myself?

But then I think of how happy I can be now that I’ve set myself free
from that same old story.

Valerie The Doll

– Valerie Parente (1-31-2018)