They think I’m slow in the head because it takes a moment to comprehend but these thoughts are too fast as I’m running from the past. So many obstacles in the way on rapid fire in this brain. My mind is not vacant, you see, it’s just overwhelmed at this speed.
Life is about balance but I’ve always been dizzy in love with the tug-of-war in my head daydreams were never enough but reality had one dead end. I could dream up the perfect life but the longing was hellbent to lead with poetic justice so came the mechanism of defense I wanted to feel the world so badly that I became a germaphobe instead.
Life is all about balance and I am more stable in my unstableness teetering on a fine line but all I see is depth.
Shadow Sign you weren’t the light of my life you were just the shape in which I had been traumatized I thought you were what I wanted after all these years of being haunted because the truth of the matter is I was never really his and that unofficial kind of bliss had me tracing my steps with darkness.
Because Shadow Sign you were never mine and with your outline I realize you weren’t the problem, you were its signal not something that I was ever meant to rekindle a simplification of the self implied light from somewhere else and that’s the truth to mental health I looked for love when what I needed was help.
Have you been enjoying my poetry? I love to post my work on valerieparente.com to act as a free library for my writing and art. That being said, if you would like a HARD COPY of my latest work (200+ poetry and prose pieces) you can support me by purchasing Moonchild Manifesto: A Poetry & Prose Collection on Amazon.com. (LINK HERE) Coping with the trauma that arises when you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder during a pandemic and heartbreak and also dealing with the leftover trauma from OCD and anorexia growing up are major themes in Moonchild Manifesto. There is a progression throughout the collection that begins with recognizing pain and heartbreak, transforms into reflection and how your mind could ever get to such a traumatized and obsessive point, and graduates into hopefulness through fantastical allegory-poem hybrids and personal poetic affirmations. Along with stomping out mental health stigma this collection has undertones of feminism, free speech activism, spirituality, and commentary on living through a pandemic. This is easily my favorite project thus far and I would love to share it with the world.
If you liked any of the following pieces on my website you will love them in a full collection that follows a trajectory from The Hurt, The Heal, into The Hope. Some fan favorite poems in Moonchild Manifesto are:
Moonchild Manifesto by Valerie Parente is a body of work that documents the parallel between two acts: feeling a profound connection and making it your whole mood, and taking a topic and making it your artistic muse. There is a similarity between poetry and the spell we call love. A Moonchild is hyper-sensitive to this similarity and understands how it is equally enchanting as it is taxing. Divided into three moon phases, this poetry and prose collection follows the subconscious trajectory of The Hurt, The Heal, and The Hope.
Valerie Parente’s third poetry and prose collection manifested out of what she does best, mixing psychology, spirituality, and fantasy to make sense of her mental experiences as both a human being with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and a whimsically dark artist.
The Phases of My Mental Health (So Far…) by Valerie Parente
My crown, on a daydreamed version of myself, turned to antlers, on a haunted version of myself, turned to horns, on a metaphysical version of myself, and I, will never be overwhelmed, by the phases, of my mental health.
– Valerie Parente (6-25-2021)
3rd Poetry & Prose Collection Coming Soon on Amazon.com
Look up high at the night sky. See that? That’s the moon it’s not an excuse it’s an explanation to something complicated something I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand but when I break it down as a symbol I stand a chance to make sense of the voice inside this methodically mad mind.
Do you see that? That’s the moon and it belongs to you too.
I’m finally happy and my OCD still found me. I see you in my dreams with a tangible body but when I go to defeat you you’re the nemesis that continues like a chain that keeps repeating in a relationship so uneven. I see you in so many forms using my sweet slumber to return and I punch, I kick, I scream I wrestle to separate from the enemy and I get oh so frantic to justify my antics begging the peers before my eyes to understand that I’m the good guy that I am separate from this disease but then I wake up and it’s not a dream. I still have this sickness on my skin when I’m awake I’m still hallucinating and it’s hard to believe I used to be afraid convinced I’d be so lost without this charade but now that I’m full grown I finally see that this disease is nothing without me. You’re just a sickness that attaches used my puberty to take advantage and I was far too young to understand that your golden offer was a cruel scam. How dare you stick yourself to me even when my brain is asleep? How dare you attack those I love as if my entire psyche wasn’t enough? And even though I’m so damn exhausted by the nemesis in my subconscious I’ve finally found my grace and solace knowing I can manipulate you as an artist.