Tag: Poetry

For Once

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For Once by Valerie Parente

For once
I just want to be somebody’s emotional outlet without being taken for granted.
I just want to be able to eat again without wanting to vomit.
I just want to be able to listen music again without thinking of the time I spent.
I just want to be able to be my true self without feeling completely broken.
I just want to know that I did the right thing by saying what needed to be said.
I just want to be out of this pain but I have no idea what comes next
because I don’t know what to do without my very best friend.

– Valerie Parente (5-24-2020)

No Appetite

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No Appetite by Valerie Parente

Having an appetite is a luxury.
When you don’t have an appetite life is hell
because you have to eat
because you feel your body getting weak
you have to put fuel inside
but the pure disgust makes every morsel feel like torture
and to go through day after day just trying to figure out how much you can intake
when just the thought of food makes you want to purge
is truly a kind of hell that nobody deserves.

– Valerie Parente (5-22-2020)

terrified.

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terrified. by Valerie Parente

The most terrifying thing I ever did
was confront my true feelings
because it was either waste my life or admit
any of the joy I had hidden
and as much as I wish this could result in happiness
it’s no longer my decision
because I let go my control of any consequence
by taking that leap and hoping not one but two people could be honest
and I never would have made such a dangerous bet
for anyone who didn’t have my highest respect.

– Valerie Parente (5-22-2020)

Love Vs. Obsession (One in the Same)

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Love Vs. Obsession (One in the Same) by Valerie Parente

What is the difference between love and obsession?
Because the two are synonymous in a mind like mine.
And I’m really not trying to cross a line
but I can’t control the way feelings reorganize my mind.

Why is obsession only beautiful
when obsession is mutual?

You say I have to apologize when I care in that beautiful way
Everybody else gets to experience love without the shame
Now the girl with OCD starts to love and it’s called insane
But I really can’t help it that love and obsession have always been one in the same.

You Never Know Who's Hiding

– Valerie Parente (4-24-2020)

Valerie’s Thesis

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Valerie’s Thesis by Valerie Parente

If there’s one goal in my social life it’s to enchant another person’s mind
The perfect interaction is a transaction where I teach you and you teach me
Just promise you’ll teach me without being preachy
because I thrive on being enlightened and I die when you condescend
so help me understand the world outside and I’ll translate the art sitting in your psyche.

Nothing bothers me more than when someone thinks I’m just a dumb girl
because inside my mind is a large web of things that make me obsessed
and I know that comes across like I can’t find my thoughts.
The truth is I just struggle with my words when I have to speak them into the world
but give me paper and a pen to write and I promise I’ll blow your mind.

I know it sounds pretentious but if I’m being perfectly honest
I’d rather you read what I write than see my picture and click “like”
Yes I still have an aesthetic but that’s just the visual poetry of my intellect
If I have to post my face to get your attention and enter the conversation
then I’ll gladly pose in place only to switch your direction to mental reflection.

I believe our minds are a never-ending storm given a body in this crazy world
that God gave us physical anatomy as our way of making sense of mentality
The pain that comes with having an ego serves to recognize the other in a collective soul
So you better be damn sure that if I find another mind that can discuss this even one time
then I’m going to hold onto that conversation like it’s my most valuable human connection.

– Valerie Parente (4-16-2020)

A Germaphobe’s Hell

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A Germaphobe’s Hell by Valerie Parente

When someone else understands the anxiety I’ve been feeling for half my life
I don’t feel comfort, I feel competition.
I worked from the inside out to walk through this hell
and now you’re telling me to turn around and walk with everyone else.

No, I don’t want the world to change their mind and say that my mental strife was justified
don’t tell me that my fears were right all along.
Why would I want to see my disorder become mainstream
after you spent years telling me that my pain is unique?

I understand the necessity to chain us all down as a way to protect ourselves
but I can’t pretend it doesn’t feel like hell
to be told to back-track all your progress
because now it really is a matter of life or death.

Bratty

– Valerie Parente (4-13-2020)

The Time Is Up

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The Time Is Up by Valerie Parente

In 2 months you’ll be able to breathe again.
In 2 months you’ll remember the fallen.
In 2 months you’ll learn to live with yourself.
In 2 months you’ll realize what really counts.
In 2 months you’ll find a reason to laugh.
In 2 months you’ll rise above your past.
Because this is God’s way of saying the time is up,
time to come face to face with your fears
time to get to know the mind you’ve been avoiding for 25 years
time to feel the discomfort that matures you through loneliness
time to master your trauma like a true artist
time to look inward for gratification
time to make those long overdue changes
time to show your ego how far you’ve come
time to tell the people you love that they’re enough.
It’s time to see your deepest pain through;
It’s time to contribute to the world that chose to spare you.

– Valerie Parente (3-31-2020)

Hyper-Sensitive Super Power

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Hyper-Sensitive Super Power by Valerie Parente

I am a super sensitive being
I attach myself to feelings
even though I know beyond reason
that the attachment causes a deep heaviness
as I force the emotions to linger in my chest
terrified by the way people simply forget
it’s a bad habit that makes me look insane
because I remember every single thing you say
yet I wouldn’t have it any other way
because I can see light in a world of shadows
the hyper-awareness weeds out the people who are shallow
and inflicts deeper meaning in the people I value
I know there is power in my sensitivity
that this is either going to be the thing that kills me
or the thing that saves me.

dark angel

– Valerie Parente (3-4-2020)

Black Hole

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Vrikshasana

Black Hole by Valerie Parente

Why is it that
my deepest pain
is not the pain of loss or betrayal or heartbreak
it’s the pain that has no reason for being there
no origin
as if I was simply born with this
and I can’t help but wonder
do other people feel this too?
An inexplicable pull into a black hole? Meant to consume.

– Valerie Parente (3-3-2020)