Innocently Me by Valerie Parente
I refuse to feel guilty for being innocently me.
I do nothing to compel, I just act like myself.
You’re not really scared of me,
you’re scared of how you feel when you’re around me
and how you feel when you’re around me is not my responsibility.
– Valerie Parente (3-1-2020)
Self-Sufficient Psyche by Valerie Parente
How dare you make me feel crazy when you know I could do that all on my own.
– Valerie Parente (2-28-2020)
Pick A Fight by Valerie Parente
Sometimes I just want to pick a fight
because I don’t know how to deal with my pain inside
and transferring the blame onto someone else
makes it easier to deal with the battle happening within myself.
– Valerie Parente (2-27-2020)
Rather Be Haunted by Valerie Parente
Emotions haunt me like ghosts
manipulating the energy inside of me
drawing from what I want the most
because my intensity sets the ghosts free.
The more meaning in my interactions
the more meaning in my poetry
because these interpersonal relations
have me evolving spiritually.
I used to identify as the tortured artist
but now I identify as a human being
creating words so painfully honest
Hurt, feel, heal, then repeat.
The pain never starts out pretty
but the ghosts give me an artistic opportunity
in turn I give them the satisfaction of being seen
while I turn those emotions into a masterpiece.
It isn’t easy learning through ghosts
but if its between getting what I wanted
and the force of emotional growth
then I would rather be haunted.
– Valerie Parente (2-25-2020)
Noise by Valerie Parente
Chaos is noisy.
When you finally get out
Prepared for the silence of safety
But for some reason there is still noise
That noise is the trauma.
Echoes are normal as you distance from the moment of chaos
Music is normal as you feel newfound inspiration
But noise,
Noise is the sign of post traumatic stress.
If it is noisy instead of quiet, that is how you know you have been traumatized.
– Valerie Parente (2-19-2020)
To Give You My Poetry by Valerie Parente
I want to give you my poetry
not because I need your reaction
but because I need to no longer internalize these feelings while they eat away at me.
All I really need is to be seen
To have you divide your attention and assign it to me
Then you’ll finally see the impact you have on my being.
– Valerie Parente (2-19-2020)
Silenced for Safety by Valerie Parente
Few things feel as bad
as leaving people you love with no explanation
not because they don’t deserve one,
but because you’ve been traumatized to the point that it feels safer just to stay silent.
– Valerie Parente (2-18-2020)
Hostile Environment by Valerie Parente
It was never about correcting actions,
it was about control.
It was never about bettering me,
it was about bullying me.
It was never about teamwork,
it was about tyranny.
It was never about reaching out,
it was about retaliating.
It was never about improvement
it was about intimidation.
It was never about positivity,
it was about your power trip.
It was never about building me up,
it was about breaking me down until I finally gave up.
And you might think that you’ve won
but the fact that I left before you could have the satisfaction of spitting in my face one last time says otherwise.
– Valerie Parente (2-18-2020)
Lost by Valerie Parente
You are not lost.
I just lost my ability to find you.
– Valerie Parente (2-11-2020)
Surreal by Valerie Parente
It’s so hard to believe that from now on when we talk about your presence
it’s going to be in past tense.
What we feel is what is real to us
and we still feel that you are here with us.
– Valerie Parente (2-10-2020)
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