The Beauty of Darkness (IV) by Valerie Parente
Make no mistake,
we are not victims.
We have been hurt
but know no division.
Because the things that bring us anguish
unite us within.
A profound understanding
of what it means to be human.
– Valerie Parente (11-9-2020)
The Beauty of Darkness (III) by Valerie Parente
I do not feel shame
when I am in pain;
I feel grace.
Pain gives you the opportunity to create
something authentically great
from a negative space
and it shows the utmost grace
when you can find honor
in an unfavorable mental state.
– Valerie Parente (11-6-2020)
The Beauty of Darkness (II) by Valerie Parente
The young girl said,
“This will either break my heart,
or save me.”
As she grew older
she realized
those were one in the same.
– Valerie Parente (11-4-2020)
The Utmost Importance by Valerie Parente
All I want
in the big scheme
is for you and me
to be able to speak
about how we feel
freely.
Where ideas are allowed
to differ in a crowd
without shutting each other down
with a buzzword to block the profound
just because one person has self doubt.
Because I might be bitter inside
from personal bad times
but that doesn’t give me the right
to say you cannot vocalize
all of your good times.
The right to speak
is the right to feel
and the right to feel
is the right to be
and if we can’t just be
then there is no point to humanity.
– Valerie Parente (11-4-2020)
The Beauty of Darkness (I) by Valerie Parente
I find
the most unwavering comfort
in my dark moods
because they remind me
that I am human
just like you.
– Valerie Parente (11-1-2020)
Twice That Age by Valerie Parente
I’m starting to feel remorse
that I’ve never felt before
for the people that I’ve hurt
in trying to protect me first.
I know obeying my fragile mind
doesn’t make me the bad guy
but it’s hard not to cry
when a decade later you see the signs.
There were a lot of people trying to help
and life-altering feelings were felt.
I let misunderstandings hurt my health
and manifested my own kind of hell.
I don’t regret it to this day
but I reject the games I played
because I decided to wait and wait
and choosing nothing is a choice to waste.
I only ever wanted one thing
and if I just quit the shit I could have had it.
Maybe now that I’m twice that age
I can get back what I pushed away
because what I truly want is still the same
and I think destiny is on the same page.
– Valerie Parente (10-27-2020)
Copyrighted by Valerie Parente
I own exclusive legal rights to the words from this mouth
drawn by my tongue
always right and never wrong
because I feel how I’m meant to
in the phrases that come through
they’re from me to you.
If you love it, I do too
but if you hate it, I don’t know you.
– Valerie Parente (10-27-2020)
Idiosyncratic Pain by Valerie Parente
I don’t want to be known for my pain,
I want to make the most of my pain,
and if that entails
emotions to prevail
in a story that parallels
my particular mental hell
and I can make you understand
a specific circumstance
then all will be fine
’cause baby, I’m one of a kind.
– Valerie Parente (10-22-2020)
Too Much Loss For One Year by Valerie Parente
This has been a really devastating year
with more loss than our brains can comprehend,
some said with goodbyes
some with unfinished sentences.
It’s not that we’re okay with the loss,
it’s that we didn’t have a chance to lament.
It’s not that we’re dwelling in the past,
it’s that there was no proper end.
And it’s not that I’m mad or insensitive,
but there are some goodbyes I simply cannot accept.
Some explanations are not just explanations
but a farewell, my dear friend.
And I guess the collective conscience within all of us
is learning a very hard lesson,
that the world will keep on turning
no matter who’s lost interest.
– Valerie Parente (10-17-2020)
Being Abnormal by Valerie Parente
It’s just lonely…
when you’re not allowed to express pain
because you’re the mentally ill girl who can’t be taken seriously,
when you’re not allowed to drive the freeway
because no one has faith in the skills you’ve achieved,
when you’re not allowed to paint your face
because you never give in to a normal level of intimacy,
when you’re not allowed to respond to hate
because defending your mental state is a luxury,
when you’re not allowed to remember heartbreak
because normal people don’t take this long to grieve,
when you’re not allowed to cut to the chase
because only crazy people act with so much honesty.
It just gets kind of lonely inside my brain
when even your loved ones can’t understand how you operate,
because I know that my honest-to-God pain only frustrates,
adding a whole new layer to what should be normal heartbreak.
I guess what I’m trying to say
is that ordinary things like a broken heart or a common sickness
are a lot harder to cope with when you have a mental illness
because people always have a million rational reasons for why you’re incorrect
but your hyper-sensitive mind has never been dictated by such logic.
– Valerie Parente (10-9-2020)
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