Tag: mental health

Art Without Fame

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Art Without Fame by Valerie Parente

Artistic displays without God-like fame gets you weird looks.
Promiscuous fashion without hollow passion gets you unsold books.
Poetic mindsets without a publisher’s subtext gets you ridiculed.
Free expression without others’ discretion gets you verbal abuse.
Because it’s okay to feel hurt
as long as you have a following
and it’s okay to create stories
as long as you’re not being honest
but the moment you draw from your real life
without the public’s hype
that’s when they call you the bad guy;
Because art without fame is just the diary of a lunatic.
Love without a mate gets you deemed the psycho chick.
And this is not a complaint, just a reminder that I’m aware of it.
So bid me your hate, I’m already immune to it.

I’ve learned to accept that when you merge intellect with fishnets
as a way to project an explicit mindset and mental health awareness
you’ll get teased by the rest but I’m okay with that test
because I’ve overcome too much stress against the odds of my illness
to still give a fraction of a shit.

– Valerie Parente (1-12-2021)

Mechanical

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Mechanical by Valerie Parente

Everything I am is mechanical
Actions and reactions
To and fro
The way I’m drawn
To the old
These circuits in my mind
Predisposed
To compensate for years
I missed the most.

– Valerie Parente (1-4-2021)

It’s Complicated (At Least That’s What I Want You To Think)

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It’s Complicated
(At Least That’s What I Want You To Think)
by Valerie Parente

You resist, you resist
then when they agree
you feel dismissed
because you want what you can’t have
and you can’t let yourself have what you attract.
So close, but never enough
to break your fear of their touch.
Call it prude, call it in control,
but you’re just trapped in a role.
Perpetually tricking your inner voice
into believing isolation is a choice.
Depriving yourself from the ones
that understand where you come from
because what could be more commendable
than being the only one to understand yourself.
It’s a sick little charade
so fitting for your sick little brain,
where the very thing you want most
is the very thing that would destroy your ego.
And it’s funny in the end
because you want people to believe you’re complex
but you’ve already proven through your twisted issues
that something so complicated lives within you.

– Valerie Parente (12-20-2020)

Some Kind of Mania

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Some Kind of Mania by Valerie Parente

She didn’t just burn that bridge,
she blew it the fuck up,
tied fireworks to the rails,
then promptly set them off.
Glitter filled the sky,
while the bridge became dust,
but she’s a visual person,
so it was worth the fun,
sparkles decorating the air,
after an explosive run,
and that bridge between castles,
was as good as done.

She let the embers rain down,
proud of the woman she’s become.

– Valerie Parente (11-10-2020)

The Beauty of Darkness (III)

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The Beauty of Darkness (III) by Valerie Parente

I do not feel shame
when I am in pain;
I feel grace.

Pain gives you the opportunity to create
something authentically great
from a negative space
and it shows the utmost grace
when you can find honor
in an unfavorable mental state.

– Valerie Parente (11-6-2020)

Twice That Age

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Twice That Age by Valerie Parente

I’m starting to feel remorse
that I’ve never felt before
for the people that I’ve hurt
in trying to protect me first.

I know obeying my fragile mind
doesn’t make me the bad guy
but it’s hard not to cry
when a decade later you see the signs.

There were a lot of people trying to help
and life-altering feelings were felt.
I let misunderstandings hurt my health
and manifested my own kind of hell.

I don’t regret it to this day
but I reject the games I played
because I decided to wait and wait
and choosing nothing is a choice to waste.

I only ever wanted one thing
and if I just quit the shit I could have had it.
Maybe now that I’m twice that age
I can get back what I pushed away
because what I truly want is still the same
and I think destiny is on the same page.

– Valerie Parente (10-27-2020)

Idiosyncratic Pain

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Idiosyncratic Pain by Valerie Parente

I don’t want to be known for my pain,
I want to make the most of my pain,
and if that entails
emotions to prevail
in a story that parallels
my particular mental hell
and I can make you understand
a specific circumstance
then all will be fine
’cause baby, I’m one of a kind.

– Valerie Parente (10-22-2020)