Lady Luna and the Light Inside

Lady Luna and the Light Inside by Valerie Parente

Lady Luna has so much light confined inside a heart as dark as night.
She loves being near the sun but it hurts to shine
Because the light she feels inside grows bigger and bigger every night
But the heart of night remains the same size.
Lady Luna does not want to waste the limited time
Determined by a stubborn sun as beautiful as the very light she hides.
She does not want to embarrass herself with another try
Like a pessimist tries to embrace the bright side.
Lady Luna tries so hard to meet the sun at night
Longing to split apart and reveal the light inside
And show the waves the blinding spot provides.
But she is too fragile and shy in her lunatic state of mind.

Lady Luna

Until she can find the right time she writes…

“I have so much light for you crammed inside my heart, and it just keeps growing and growing and becomes more painful to hold inside me and only me. I long to give this overflowing light to you but you are so locked shut. I keep reaching out to share these rays with you but you only open tiny fractions at time. And I am getting so physically exhausted by the mental strain of this effort. Believe me, it is always worth giving another try, because you are worth more than anything this universe can comprehend, but all this energy exertion is taking its toll on me. My heart has so much light inside, and I do not think the light can fit much longer without breaking my heart in half.”

– Valerie Parente (8-26-17)

Natural

Natural by Valerie Parente

I had no idea how much I cared
Until behaviors that I could not explain started kicking in
I started feeling without daydreaming
I started laughing without meaning
I started helping without intending
I started sacrificing without resenting

I do not force an emotion
But a natural force compels my mood
I do not intend to cry
But the tears begin to pool
I do not consciously try to think
But the sad thoughts venture through
I do not understand what is happening inside
I do not have a stance on what I cannot define

All I know is how much I care
With a new capacity I had no idea was there.
Now I realize that this feeling came from
Nature’s most beautiful miracle, called love.

"Blossom" by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (8-8-17)

Trust the Stars

Trust the Stars by Valerie Parente

What is meant to be is already unfolding
Promises we send in space and time
Keep your faith through the darkness of night
And the right pathway will be realized.

Trust the stars
They know your heart.

Destiny is your relationship with the universe
The stars reflect the dust you are made of.
Guardian angels glowing down from above
Writing constellations in a language called love.

Trust the stars
Wherever you are.

The awe that you feel in today
Is not constrained to the starry sky
Whenever you forget about your stellar guide
Remember, you are made of the same light.

Trust the stars
They got you this far.

Stardust

– Valerie Parente (7-2-17)

Analyzing Phantom Limb Syndrome

Valerie Parente

March 21, 2017

Analyzing Phantom Limb Syndrome

Phantom limb syndrome refers to the sensations a person perceives on a limb that no longer exists. Phantom sensations can have the quality of tingling, hot or cold, itching, pressure, vibration, pain, or any other aspect of touch. These feelings teeter anywhere from mild to severe. This kind of phenomena is not uncommon among amputees. Phantom limbs occur in 95 percent of amputees who lose an arm or leg (Choi, 2013). It might come as a surprise that there have been reports of phantom illusions in more than just limbs, including phantom appendix pains, phantom menstrual cramps after hysterectomies, and phantom nipples (Choi, 2013). Even more surprisingly, phantom sensations can occur in more than just those with an amputated limb. Children born without a limb due to congenital aplasia have reported feeling a vivid phantom of the missing body part (Melzack, 1989). Through research and experimentation performed with a focus on cortical mapping and neuroscientific approaches, both amputees and non-amputees have contributed substantial evidence indicating that phantom sensations might be a result of the brain’s miraculous top-down processing and plasticity.

Before delving into the details and implications of phantom limb phenomena it is important to understand how deceitful the mind can be. A study conducted by Arvid Guterstam of the Karolinska Institute, called the “Invisible Hand Experiment” demonstrates how an unattached limb can still be “felt” as part of the one’s body. 234 healthy adult volunteers sat with their right hand hidden and a researcher used a paintbrush to brush the thin air in front of the volunteer as well as their visibly hidden real hand. To Guterstam’s shock, it took less than a minute for the majority of participants to claim they “felt” as if their stroked hand was located in the empty region of air in which the visible paintbrush had conspicuously been brushing thin air (Choi, 2013). The participants indeed perceived what Guterstam denoted an “invisible hand”, reminiscent of the phantom limb. Furthermore, when fourteen of these participants, whom perceived an invisible hand, had their brains scanned using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) the scans showed increased activity in the same parts of the brain that are active when individuals see their real hand being touched (Choi, 2013). The powerful conviction of the invisible hand illusion was further emphasized when researchers took a knife and made a stabbing motion toward the empty space “occupied” by said invisible hand and measured the sweat response in participants. The sweat response in a handful of volunteers acted as an indication of stress towards a make-believe threat (Choi, 2013). The threat of being stabbed, even when flagrantly irrational to the naked eye, was still perceived as reasonable enough to incite the top-down processing of the brain to evoke stress. Clearly the brain has some sort of mental ability to convince individuals that phantom body parts are being stimulated in ways that the rest of their physical body cannot account for.

A reoccurring theme amongst phantom limb syndrome research and experimentation seems to be the prevalence of top-down processing. A phenomenon such as phantom limb pain, much like the perception of an invisible hand, is a touch-based sensory illusion derived from cortical top-down processing. Top-down processing, the brain’s way of organizing immense amounts of information (Berezin, 2014) acts so that we as humans, can function adequately in everyday life without becoming overwhelmed by the constant sensory and motor input confronting our moment to moment.

Examination of phantom limb syndrome has been led researchers to multiple conclusions. One explanation of this phenomena proposes that the same brain processes activated when a body is intact can also be activated when a body part is amputated (Melzack, 1989). Another explanation of phantom limb syndrome attributes the syndrome to neural pathways. Neural networks are responsible for dictating how and what humans experience as sensations which feel as if they exclusively originate in the body. It is the brain and its magnificent web of neurons that give an individual a sense of being in their own body, not the literal body in itself. By this logic, an input does not need to be present to generate an output and convince the mind of sensations like pain, tingling, or even complacent stillness. This is understandable, for even non-amputees, with insensate arms or hands, might feel that their arm is in a certain position when their eyes are closed, but, upon opening their eyes they might become surprised to see the arm bent in a way they had not felt (Melzack, 1989). Data such as this suggests that neural activity can exist in the brain when there is no input from the body. This being said, inputs from the body can still shape the output of these neural networks, but they are not a requirement to generate an experience of one’s body (Melzack, 1989).

Top-down processing proves to be a key ingredient when theorizing the origin of phantom limb pain, leading to many theories based on cortical mapping. The human brain in its infantile days (prior to amputation), developed so that any direct sensation of touch and motor experience merged together in a cortical map (Berezin, 2014). Sensory and motor neurons worked together, imprinting the brain with a map of, for example, an arm, a leg, a finger, etc (Berezin, 2014). Many pieces of evidence supporting cortical maps include amputees’ reports of having idiosyncratic characteristics upon phantom limbs that match with its limb prior to amputation. Examples include bunions on a phantom foot and rings on a phantom finger (Melzack, 1989). Even patients with Parkinson’s disease have reported feeling a tremor in a phantom limb (Melzack, 1989). Apparently cortical maps of certain body parts can outlive the body part. Peripheral nerves in an amputated leg might be absent, but the top-down process of cortical mapping still exists and can still be triggered. Such a trigger seems to be a consistent concept amongst many phantom limb researchers, including Ronald Melzack. Melzack, in 1989 of McGill University described the brain’s trigger as sensory input in his theory of the “neuromatrix”. The neuromatrix, Melzack proposed, is the self’s genetically built-in experience of one unified body which can be influenced- but not exclusively controlled- by the input of sensory information. Such an omniscient neural network would be constantly producing outputs that relay information about body position, motion, sensation, and therefore the overall physical “self”. It is only when sensory input interferes with the ongoing neural network by the growth, survival, or death of synapses between neurons that a particular body experience, like pain or pleasure, merges with the output pattern awaiting later activation (Melzack, 1989). Melzack (1989) goes on to call the assortment of patterns “neurosignatures” that are inherent in each brain but do not act out until the overarching neuromatrix is triggered by output of hyperactive cells. The neuromatrix explanation of phantom limb sensation asserts that any experience of touch and motion in the body is predetermined in the brain, reinforcing the prevalence of top-down processing and therefore a map of the body stamped upon the human brain.

Digging deeper into the brain’s role in these mysterious phantom experiences theories can be found venturing beyond cortical mapping and into neuroplasticity territory. Experimentation and research on an amputee, whom had lost his index finger and had a surgically reconstructed thumb, carried out at the University of Verona provides evidence attributing phantom limb sensations to the reorganization and plasticity within the somatosensory cortex following amputation (Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, & Berlucchi, 1997). In a three-year-long clinical case study of a 51 year old male having had his left index finger amputated, researchers stimulated certain areas on the patient’s skin both near and far from the amputation line, including areas along his left cheekbone (Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, & Berlucchi, 1997). It is important to note that portions of the somatosensory cortex, when deprived of their own sensory inputs, respond to sensory inputs that would normally be activated in other cortical zones (Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, & Berlucchi, 1997). With this knowledge, researchers applied pressure to the left portion of the patient’s face as well as his fifth, forth, and third fingers. These sites elicited sensation in his phantom index finger. Three years later, when this test was repeated (three years after the amputation), the patient’s phantom sensations in his nonexistent index finger arose when the right side of the face was stimulated instead of the left side of the face in the prior two sessions. This kind of changing mislocalized pain emphasizes the reorganization of the somatosensory system an adult primate (Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, & Berlucchi, 1997). Such a finding can be backed up by experimentation on a squirrel monkey in 1995 by C.E. Schroeder, S. Seto, J.C. Arexxo, and P.E. Garraghty. Research on this squirrel monkey revealed that the somatosensory cortex contained dominant and latent input, both capable of intermingling (Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, & Berlucchi, 1997). Further study on a cortical locus exposed that the usually subliminal latent inputs morphed into full expression when dominant inputs were removed (Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, & Berlucchi, 1997). Through these studies it can be deduced that the inputs which were once subliminally processed in the somatosensory cortex acted as a substitute for the former dominant inputs, thus graduating from subconscious awareness to conscious awareness. Plasticity within the sensory processing cortex of the brain, the very command center responsible for decoding anything tactile, could be responsible for illusory feeling of a phantom limb.

The implications posed by research and experimentation on phantom limbs, including research on non-amputees such as those involved in the “invisible hand experiment”, seep into the philosophical topic of selfhood- the concept which questions where the self begins and ends. The invisible hand experiment theoretically suggests that, if an individual can experience an invisible hand as their own, then why not an entire invisible body as their own? An essential “invisible man illusion” according to cognitive neuroscientist of Karolinska Institute, Henrik Ehrsson, is plausible (Choi, 2013). More ideas of “being” in one’s “self” stemming from Melzack’s neuromatrix theory of the phantom phenomena. If there really is a pattern built upon all inputs from the body, then all experiences of the individual’s body are permeated with a quality of self.

A close relative to the notion of “self” that can be weeded out of phantom limb data is the notion of consciousness. The malleability of consciousness is a subsequent discovery stemming from the reorganization of inputs described by Aglioti, Smania, Atzei, and Berlucchi, in 1997. If what were once subconscious sensations are able to graduate into conscious sensations, what does this mean for the potential of the mind? Can the fundamental consciousness of a human being be manipulated? Consciousness might be the one of the grandest ontological enigmas of humankind, arising in subjects ranging from quantum physics, philosophy, and now psychology. This psychological study of phantom limb phenomena brings us a significant step closer to uncovering the mystery of consciousness.

All of psychology studies the mind through premises of “self” and “consciousness”, yet since the spawn of this institution nobody has been able to clearly define what these entities are. Phantom limb syndrome research has offered great insight into where the self and consciousness begins and ends. Consequential data to research on this subject suggests a very hopeful framework for the future of psychology, a framework that has been long coveted to advance into a neuropsychological era based upon a scientifically proven model of “self” and “consciousness”.

 


 

References

Aglioti, S., Smania, N., Atzei, A., & Berlucchi, G. (1997). Spatio-Temporal Properties of the Pattern of Evoked Phantom Sensations in a Left Index Amputee Patient. Behavioral Neuroscience, 111(5), 867-872. http://dx.doi.org.libproxy.uml.edu/10.1037/0735-7044.111.5.867

Berezin, R. (2014, January 13). The Cortical Top-Down Processing of Life. Psychology Today. Retrieved March 18, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-theater-the-brain/201401/the-cortical-top-down-processing-life

Choi, C. Q. (2013, April 12). Even Non-Amputees Can Feel a Phantom Limb. Live Science. Retrieved March 18, 2017, from http://www.livescience.com/28694-non-amputees-feel-phantom-limb.html

Melzack, R. (1989). Phantom limbs, the self and the brain (the D. O. Hebb Memorial Lecture). Canadian Psychology, 30(1), 1-16. http://dx.doi.org.libproxy.uml.edu/10.1037/h0079793

Ink

Ink by Valerie Parente

when she wears the tiara

Just leave that ink in tears to cry
Let them fall on the blue lines
And create personal marks
That record our beating hearts.

Don’t try too hard to define
All the thoughts that plague your mind
When you turn your conscience off
A list of words becomes art.

Vocabulary describes
What makes chills tickle your spine
Suppressed fears locked in the dark
Motifs hidden in your plot.

The whispers a pen provides
Are emotions summarized
Broken up in royal parts
By a new language monarch.

– Valerie Parente (6-28-17)

 

I Wish You Well

I Wish You Well by Valerie Parente

Once upon a time two years ago,
the girl knew she fell
but she did not realize where she fell.
Then the light revealed her boundaries.
She realized where she fell two years ago,
in the wishing well she called her own.
A beautiful wish disguised by cold stone
meticulously crafted to suppress the magical pressure down below,
but with nowhere else to go
her pent up energy overflowed.
The water level rose and she began to float.
She accepted where she fell two years ago.
The girl wished and fell into her own wishing well
and for once upon a time, she felt well.

I Wish You Well

– Valerie Parente (6-27-17)

Touch the Heart

only love can break a heart

Of course I still love you.

Hearts were designed to feel the touch of love, and that impression will forever  be remembered.

If you hurt me and it breaks my heart, it is because I love you.

If you hurt me and it does not break my heart, it is because you never touched my heart from the start.

– Valerie Parente (6-4-2017)

she could not master astral projection

she could not master astral projection by Valerie Parente

The girl with the mysophobia could not master astral projection.
“This fear and this feeling of germ infestation tainting my skin locks me into physical awareness. To be so in touch with my material self blinds me to the ethereal possibilities of consciousness beyond the body. To open the mind to a realm that needs no space or time is impossible as long as this germ fear persists.”

And so it seems, anxiety is the greatest barrier between us and connection with our true essence.

"Astral Projection" by Valerie Parente

– Valerie Parente (5-17-2017)

The Silver Screen

Bloom

The Silver Screen by Valerie Parente

My daydreams bloom from whatever prominent emotion I am feeling.

My daydreams seem to subconsciously and intuitively unravel themselves into ideal scenarios.
Like a movie the daydreams play out in a succession of mental frames on a cortical film reel. At best the mental fabrication distributes its duty between the two-track mind and I maintain my presence; above the absolute threshold I am in the audience and below the absolute threshold I am in the director’s chair. The dialogues between imaginary friends on the silver screen happen so instantaneously that the script’s origin teeters on the line between voluntary and involuntary awareness.

My daydreams are finalized by obsessive and repetitive hindsight.
When mentally reviewed these fantastic mental purges reveal subliminal truths. The loose reigns of control over the internal screenplays, regularly referred to as “imagination”, masquerade as intrusive images too appropriate and too satisfying to be resented.

– Valerie Parente (2-18-17)