Typical Feeling by Valerie Parente
It’s not fair for me to attach myself to memories
because the things that are important to me
aren’t necessarily admired equally
it doesn’t matter how strongly I believe
feelings are not facts, they’re just brain chemistry
and maybe if I accept that as my reality
then I wouldn’t seem like this OCD creep
memorizing feelings that nobody else reads
it’s a habit that’s no longer helping me breathe
because appreciating details gets pretty lonely
and reading your energy exerts my energy.
I guess it was just a typical feeling
that I glorified beyond its meaning
then modified my priorities like a chameleon
and fell for traits that promote teasing
a mistake I’ve made before, despite reason
but this time I finally stopped believing
and I’ll never go back to daydreaming
because this match was never even
just a rigged game I used for healing
and in that way I was also scheming.
I guess there’s nothing special about my demons.
– Valerie Parente (6-16-2020)